Quarrels and conflicts are a common occurrence in most couples. There can be many reasons why sometimes there are disagreements and misunderstandings from scratch. In this article, we will consider the answers to such popular questions:
- What if quarreling with a guy?
- How to take the first step?
- How to restore the relationship?
- What are some ways to make amends?
First of all
Any conflict can confuse you, make you apathetic and sad. However, first of all, in order to rationally solve this problem, you need to pull yourself together and not let emotions defeat your mind.
As a rule, couples have quarrels on household soil, due to a heavy load or excessive stay with each other. Therefore, everything can be experienced, the main thing is not to dramatize and not give in to despondency. Let's find out what to do if his girlfriend quarreled with a guy.
The main causes of conflict
Before you learn how to apologize correctly, you need to understand the main reasons for a quarrel with a guy:
- Inability to find a compromise. He wants to watch football, she seeks to go to the cinema for an ordinary melodrama. He wants borscht for dinner, and she wants mashed potatoes with a cutlet. Some couples whose tastes coincide can easily visit cinema and football without any negative. And others, on the contrary, turn the inability to find a compromise into conflict and serious drama.
- Constant humiliation of oneself. She complains that she is getting fat, and hopes for a compliment, he complains about the whole world that he has a bad job and cannot save up for a dream car. It is one thing when a person allows himself momentary weakness, but then begins to work hard on himself, and another thing, when endless nagging causes the other half only pity and contempt that such “insignificance” lives and is close to him. On this basis, conflicts often arise.
- Lack of attention. When a girl and a guy receive enough care, they do not suffer from a lack of attention. Most often this happens with overly emotional girls who understand and feel that their man absolutely does not care what dress she bought yesterday and what eyebrows she made with the master.
- Jealousy. Baseless jealousy is one of the reasons millions of people suffer. Sometimes this feeling develops into a strong mania and psychosis, which is why a guy or a girl can face not only quarrels and conflicts, but also assault, humiliation, insult, total control. Jealousy is important to suppress from the very beginning, however, as well as learn to trust each other. Without this, strong and long-term relationships are not built.
- Just boring. Another reason why a guy and a girl quarrel is the lack of hobbies, work and other hobbies. When a person simply has nothing to do, then he or she begins to pour out all the accumulated energy on the partner. A great way to avoid conflicts would be to find a hobby or job that can control excessive emotional outbursts. The best way to “defuse” yourself will be sports, drawing, walking in the company of new people.
Get rid of pride
Many girls ask themselves: what to do if they quarreled with a guy? The answer is simple: to analyze the situation and not give pride to prevail.
Of course, no one convinces to flee immediately after the conflict and ask for forgiveness (it all depends on the situation). But demonstratively keeping silent, ignoring calls and messages, avoiding meetings and pretending that it's all over between you - all this can lead to sad consequences.
Sometimes it’s difficult for people to reconcile first, so if no one could overcome their pride in quarrels, there would be much more lonely people on the planet.
Draw conclusions
When asked what to do if you had a falling out with a guy, you should analyze the situation well. This will help in the future not to make the same mistakes and not to bring your relationship to a critical point.
It is very important to be able to get away from conflicts, not be fooled by provocations and not annoy each other. If you feel that the situation is heating up, then just take a deep breath, lower the tone of your voice and try to go to another place. Of course, if you want the last word always to be yours, then this will bring much more problems. Quarrels in a relationship should not turn into a debate or into the game “who will blame anyone first”.
Give yourself some time
After a quarrel, both of you need to cool down and reflect on your behavior - this is another piece of advice that tells you how to reconcile a girl with a guy if they quarreled:
- First, do not try to blame, storm each other. Meaningless calls and messages asking to end the conversation, manipulating and using trump cards will not lead to anything good.
- Secondly, one of you needs to cool down and make important decisions. Allow at least three days for this to come to an agreement and peace.
- Thirdly, never be afraid of parting. You can’t make a person fall in love with pity and manipulation, so if you feel guilty and apologies do not help to restore relations, then simply draw experience from this situation and try to move on. Of course, the first time is always difficult, but sooner or later all negative feelings will be dulled, giving you a new chance in life.
Do not try to use the ladder of abstraction.
“Ah, he did not call me because he probably walks with his friends or other girls.” Do not assume. The infinite “or” is always a killer in a relationship.
If you don’t know what to do, if you quarreled with a guy, then at least try to put your thoughts in order and calm down. The main problem is that girls forget about male humanity. Guys can also suffer, feel pain, and not know what decisions to make. However, stereotypes made them closed, which is why they will not always defiantly include sad music, write to all friends about the problem and cry until salty tears begin to pinch the skin of the cheeks.
Reconciliation Methods
Let's answer another interesting question. “How to make peace with a guy if I'm to blame?” - the girls often ask.
So, you carefully analyzed the situation, remembered and reproduced all the dialogues in your head, and then came to the conclusion that you are the instigator of the conflict. Now think about how much you could offend your boyfriend: insulted his feelings, hurt, humiliated or betrayed.
- Try talking - this is the best way to dot all the i's. Sincerely inform the young man that you repent and understand your mistake. It is very important to do this not because it is necessary, but because you yourself want it. Talk about his feelings, not yours. Do not focus on such things as “But you said ...”, “But you were wrong too ...” etc.
- Cook a delicious dinner and meet the guy as expected after a hard day. Show concern, say that you are ashamed and do not know how to make amends. Explain how important and irreplaceable the guy is in your life.
- Make a nice gift. Women love flowers, especially after an argument, even if they always say otherwise. However, what do guys like, because girls rarely apologize with gifts? Remember what your young man is fond of - sports, computer games, or maybe cooking. Make a symbolic but important gift. For example, buy a new computer mouse or find the book that he has been looking for for so long.
He ignores
Another problem that worries the girls is that they quarreled with the guy, and he does not write. In such a situation, terrible thoughts always arise that a young man is walking somewhere or that he does not care. But it happens when a girl fell out with a guy. What to do in such a situation?
- Give yourself and him time. After a quarrel everyone needs to cool down, so if you do not want to run into rudeness, then just let him think it over.
- Do not pretend that you do not care. Just write one SMS to the guy, which will indicate that if he wants to talk calmly and solve your problems, then you are always open, and until then you will not disturb him.
- Get busy. Do not sit for days near a computer or phone while waiting for a treasured call. Continue to live on - work, study, watch movies, learn languages and communicate. This will help you get rid of obsessive thoughts and prevent the development of another conflict on the basis of jealousy, lack of attention and anger.
A guy with a girl, until they gain wisdom, will always face quarrels over trifles. But over time, both must learn to give in, ignore the slanting looks and bad intonation, which used to be the main cause of conflict. If you love each other, then remember that meaningless quarrels take away your energy, moving you away and building a thick, blank wall.