Time does not stand still, and with it human relations and society as a whole are changing. The patriarchal structure of the social cell is being replaced by an egalitarian family. "What is it?" - the reader will ask. This is the topic of our conversation today. If we reveal all the cards at once, the intrigue will die. Therefore, "no hurry."
Definition and signs
An egalitarian family is a relationship in which none of the spouses aspires to power, it is divided equally between a man and a woman. The same thing happens with social roles and household responsibilities. There is no division into “masculine” and “feminine”. Does one who can.
Clearly, what is an egalitarian family? The signs characterizing it follow.
- The primacy of individual interests over family (tribal). In practice, this means that every member of the family wants not only to fulfill their family, sexual role, but also to achieve something in the professional sphere. Therefore, the relationship is built so that the husband and wife have room for creativity and realization.
- A family is created by the mutual desire of a man and a woman. Determining is the personal choice of each. Here, it seems, no explanation is needed. In theory, an egalitarian family is an education that is created only because a man and a woman love each other. But, as we know, theory and practice do not always coincide.
- No more than two generations (parents and children) live under one roof.
- The couple plans children together.
- Small size. With all the ensuing consequences: the emphasis is on the "quality" of children, not the "quantity". That is, the spouses set the goal of preparing the children for social life as much as possible: to educate properly, to give the education that will help the offspring get a good, interesting and well-paid job. Since there are not many children (one or two), the man and woman do not forget about themselves and combine parental functions with other social roles. As an inevitable result: sex is perceived as a source of pleasure, not a way of reproduction.
- High degree of social and geographical mobility. Simply put, the saying "where you were born there is useful" is not about members of an egalitarian family. People, if necessary, change jobs and place of residence. Not to say that this happens easily and freely, but no one does tragedy from this either.
- In the possession and inheritance of family property, the spouses are legally equal.
An egalitarian family is a revolutionary thing that allows both men and women to “breathe freely”. But without comparison with other types of family relations, it is impossible to fully evaluate its significance.
Types of family. Patriarchy
What are the alternatives? There is also a patriarchal and matriarchal family. We will tell you very briefly about them in order to understand the difference.
Characteristic features of a patriarchal family:
- The primacy of family interests over the individual.
- The creation of the cell is not dictated by the personal choice and love of the man and woman, but by the economic interests of the relatives who are part of the “patriarchal family” education.
- The family lives in a "large swarm body." Several generations and branches of the family can live under one roof.
- Large families. Moreover, it is also dictated by economic interests. More children - more working hands.
- A woman cannot interrupt a pregnancy, even if she wants to. This is prohibited by the family code. There is no question of any plan regarding the appearance of children. A woman “bears fruit” while she can.
- The change of residence or work in such a family is out of the question. Such an education is very clumsy in a social sense.
- The primacy of tradition and customs is recognized, personal preferences and values are not considered.
- Property and other valuables are inherited exclusively through the male line.
Needless to say, “democratic relations” is a concept not known to people who live according to the patriarchal canon?
Matriarchy
It is more difficult to talk about matriarchy as a social system, because many are still convinced that it was not there. Although Erich Fromm, referring to Bachoven, refutes this point of view. In other words, disputes are ongoing. The problem is that when people talk about ancient times, then history, archeology and mythology close together, and it is not possible to separate one from the other. In any case, it was so long ago that it is difficult to talk about it in detail, we indicate only those signs that are precisely known:
- A family is created around a woman, not a man.
- Inheritance of property and values is transmitted through the maternal side.
- The pedigree is considered from the mother and female representatives of the genus.
Matriarchy is certainly an interesting phenomenon, especially its “modern version”: when relations formally have the status of “egalitarian family” (it’s clear what it is), but in fact matriarchal, where a man is a subordinate element (the same is true of patriarchy, when the wife depends on the husband with the formal equality of the parties).
Concluding the conversation about family types, let’s say that there are enough supporters of both the matriarchal and the patriarchal families in the world. There are also countries where models function; it’s difficult for a Western person to judge their success.
Household interchangeability of spouses
After a cursory examination of the ways of arranging the family, it became clear why the egalitarian type of family is preferable for certain men as well as for some women. However, we consider it from different angles.
Advantages:
- equality;
- understanding;
- Liberty;
- mobility;
- dialogue as a way of family existence.
On paper, the model is so good that it is difficult to find flaws in it. At this point, we must remember that traditions are strong in Russia, that is, not all people around us support progressive ideas in general and the idea of a family in which each family member does not what the gender role requires of him, but what can particular. Therefore, if we note the shortcomings, let’s say: a model can cause individual intolerance in some people, as well as bring up complexes if a couple practices “equal marriage” in a patriarchal environment.
Social Equality of Husband and Wife
An egalitarian marriage involves not only rights, but also the responsibilities of both the wife and husband. The fact that in this system of relationships, man and woman are interchangeable redistributes priorities. For example, money ceases to be a purely masculine problem. On the one hand, this is good, because the husband no longer feels lonely in this sense, he knows that if something happens to him, the wife will help not only morally, but also financially. On the other hand, this is bad because a woman and a man will no longer be able to appeal to the gender role and conscience of a person to use the epic phrase: “You are a man!” or "You are a woman!". Here, each family member is responsible for the other and for the common offspring.
Emotional richness
From the basic principles of such a marriage, another characteristic feature of the egalitarian family follows, which is subtitled. It’s strange, probably, to single out emotions in a relationship into a separate group. But since the model offers a qualitatively different interaction, why not say that equality has a beneficial effect on the psychological climate in the family? Love blooms if it grows on the basis of freedom. And repression is needed only in order to deal with objectionable, oppression can not cause love. When one spouse does not respect, does not value the other, and so lasts a lifetime, then grudges accumulate, and they, even unspoken, poison the family atmosphere.
In this sense, egalitarian marriage is seen as the exact opposite of both patriarchy and matriarchy. Do not think that this is some ideal. Firstly, there are so few truly equal relations (why, we will talk below), and secondly, the majority in the form of egalitarian families represent in content - the modern patriarchy and matriarchy. For example, when both work, but in the order of things, when a man says: “This is a woman’s business!” And the wife on occasion reminds: "Be a man!" We think the reader perfectly understands what it is about. Of course, we can say that the egalitarian family, like any synthesis, contains in itself the qualities of the thesis and antithesis, obeying the laws of Hegelian dialectics. But interpretation is a matter of taste.
An egalitarian marriage is a fragile entity
It turns out that equal marriage is pure pleasure? Not certainly in that way. The primacy of personal interests over family is fraught with many problems. For example, you can recall the film and the book “The World Through the Eyes of Garp”. When the couple tried not to limit each other and even forgive, if possible, infidelity. Garp’s wife somehow managed, but he himself didn’t. And one should not think that democratic marriage presupposes moral anarchy and sexual freedom. Rather, it is an illustration of what the misinterpretation of freedom and equality leads to. Such a family arrangement is only suitable for mature people who are ready to take responsibility. If family and marriage are a way to adapt to life, then an equal and repressive relationship is unlikely to be what you need.
And the last: freedom is wonderful, but it needs a habit, and also a person must have a certain degree of rationality in order to know where rights end and responsibilities begin. As Bernard Shaw said: “Freedom means responsibility, which is why most people fear it.” And without freedom, you cannot build equal and emotionally saturated relationships. Modern life offers at least three models to choose from to build relationships. And these are only global opportunities, and how many practical variations between them! Therefore, everyone decides for himself.