In family life, as in a long field, which just does not happen. And couples become happy not because two ideal people were destined to meet in this vast world and the sky was covered with roses. Those who are called happy go through all the same stages of family life as everyone else. Under this sky there is nothing new that would not happen to any of the living.
Happy marriage in theory
It is impossible to describe in words what happiness should be like; you either feel happy or not. We are constantly hearing different family stories from life and we like some of them, while others cause a lot of indignation, and we understand that we definitely don’t want to. Marriage is a very interesting thing, it is proved that bachelors live less than family ones. And family is happier than single.
If we take happy marriages as an example, we will see that they are different, which means that there is no single template for everyone. And articles like “10 rules for a happy marriage” are completely unfounded. The basic rule that suits everyone is to learn to get along with each other. And you think: this is already understandable, but how to do it? Look at other people's stories from family life, real, not described in the novels. The stories of those people whom we consider happy in marriage.
Friends Tips About Relationships
When a problem occurs on the family front, many practice conversations with friends, consult, complain, and ask how best. And friends who are head over heels in their problems in this area give recommendations with the appearance of an expert. It is especially interesting to listen to the advice of single friends. This is actually stupid. The question is not just to imitate people who are happy together, but whose happiness you like. Well, for example, you have neighbors who get up at six in the morning, garden all day, they know the names of all weeds and methods of dealing with them. They are experts in breeding different varieties of potatoes and can talk with each other all day about how best to grow tomato seedlings from seeds. They are never bored together, they are happy and in the evening fall tired in bed. Asleep, the husband clarifies that after processing the cabbage, the aphid disappeared and this is wonderful.
Everything is fine with them, but you clearly understand what such “happiness” is definitely not for you.
What to choose for yourself?
So how do you act in real life in order to feel comfortable, secure, calm and confident? After all, it turns out that not all happy stories about family life are for you.
Whatever the couples, the main thing is to learn how to calmly resolve all conflicts and domestic issues, taking into account the interests of both parties. And in order to learn something, you need to observe those who you like and learn from their successful experience.
Spilled wall
How to get away from the conflict and more importantly - calm or a wall in the house? This is a life story of a married couple about how to live together. The wife told her husband for several years that the wall in the house needs to be leveled, because it is crooked and it is impossible to paste wallpaper on it, or hang a picture. But somehow this process was postponed for later on various pretexts, although the masters came to the house from time to time to look at this wall and choose the best solution on how to remake it. At one point, his wife ran out of patience and she knocked her out. When the husband saw a pile of garbage between the two rooms, the wife said that right now was the right time to take up the wall, the husband agreed and helped her take the trash out into the street. Taking out the garbage, they humored on this subject, and she said that she was glad that everyone in their family could do what they wanted, and the second did not bother him.
One can only imagine how this plot could unfold in other families. And in this family very soon a new repair appeared in the house.
When he broke her nose, she realized how much he loved her.
Sometimes it’s impossible to even imagine the ending of a story when you listen only to its beginning. Interesting stories from family life are not just given. One guy fell in love with a girl, but she did not reciprocate. He tried to take all her free time with calls, invitations to walks, so that no one else would take this time. He came to visit her for tea and was a good friend. Once he showed her how to swing the press correctly, she fixed his legs, and he began to push up, but leaned too close and with such force that he broke her nose. This became known the day after a picture was taken by a radiologist.
Moment of truth
She had to go to surgery, he apologized as best he could, and she was completely calm, because he did not want this, everything turned out by chance. It’s not really his fault. If a man beats a woman and at the same time breaks her nose, then he can be sent to jail right away and any relationship with a sadist can be ended. But here the incident is so absurd that the guilty person would have been strangled by shame, which turned out so ridiculously. A wise girl understands that this is a matter of chance, and no one could have imagined that this would end the usual physical exercise. But while she was in the hospital, she saw his sacrificial attitude and how he looked after and cared for her. Seeing this, she wondered: is man really capable of love? It was over-concern! She realized that this was her man and a little later she proposed to get married, which he was very happy about. They have been living happily and in love for 14 years, and they have wonderful children. Unexpected turn? Surely you also know fascinating stories from the life of couples. Just go your own way and maintain a good relationship is not so simple.
Awkward husband
Each of us has its drawbacks, if they do not irritate the soulmate, then it suits you perfectly. There are features of other people that we simply cannot bear. It is unpleasant that the husband does not close the tube of toothpaste, but not critically, you can survive. And another woman simply would not have survived this and therefore she just needs a husband who closes the pasta.
There are funny stories from family life. One husband was extremely awkward; he inadvertently worked out something that would not have worked out on purpose.
Husband and wife sat down to drink tea, he decided to make himself a sandwich and cut off the sausage by weight. A sausage ring turned out of the man’s hands and flew straight into his wife’s hot tea cup. The husband quickly took it out, but the fat circles of tea floated on the surface of the tea. They laughed at this situation and made fresh tea.
Another time, he helped spread chicken with mayonnaise and did it so actively that a piece of mayonnaise flew into the air. The husband began to bounce to the side so that this mayonnaise did not fall on him, while the man turned around amusingly. I turned to the point that I “caught” this mayonnaise like a soccer ball. Well, why not laugh? There are couples who would have already scandalized in such cases! Are these not happy family history stories? These couples traveled all the bumps on the road!
Always refuse
Once the wife fell ill and lay in bed all day. She did not have the strength to do any business and even take care of herself. By evening, she was hungry and asked her husband to cook something for her. He loved to cook his signature dishes in the mood, but that day there was no mood, and he said he did not want to, and really did not cook anything.
My wife was very angry because at that moment she needed his help. She took the red marker and in their room wrote in huge letters on the whole wall: "Always refuse." When the husband saw, he asked: "What is this?" And the wife replied that she wrote herself a reminder to always refuse all his requests for help. It's just that she always forgives him very quickly and can forget that he did not help her when she needed it. And this inscription will be a reminder to her that she always refuses everything to him and he sees how it feels to live in a family without support. It is worth saying that this inscription was for a long time a reminder not only for her, but also for him about how badly he did and that it was not worth doing that.
So little need
Sometimes for a good relationship you need very little and the smallest help in commonplace things. It describes family stories from the lives of families who, for all the mood swings, understand that next to another person they would not be as calm and comfortable. Even small tokens play a huge role in relationships.
- Do you make tea?
- Cook you something?
- I washed the dishes.
- You can not cook today, I will buy pizza.
“Don't get up, I'll stroke things myself.”
- Go, have a rest with friends, I will find what to do at home.
“Let's invite your mom for the weekend.”
Everything seems to be so banal, but isn’t life made up of this? Is it not these little things that cause conflict?
Have pity on each other
If one of the family members is oppressed by routine work, hopeless, endless, does not see help and pulls everything on his shoulders, then he will be exhausted. Fatigue, moral and physical, affects health. The wife is sawing her husband so that he takes out the construction waste from the yard. He, tired after work, tinkers in the yard until late at night, and so more than one day. From fatigue, his pressure rises, and who knows at what point he will have a stroke from a strong overvoltage. Question? Will she need a clean yard if she remains a widow tomorrow?
A woman wants to show her family that she is a good housewife, therefore, tired after daily activities, she starts an evening with conservation. From fatigue, she loses consciousness in the kitchen and, falling, receives numerous injuries. Question: will a husband be happy when he is driven away by household chores, forever tired, emaciated wife? Such unsuccessful family stories from life as a vivid visual aid, which says: have pity on each other!
They get us everywhere
Outsiders do not care about us, and therefore they will not stand on ceremony with us too much. If their family stories from life are not very funny, they will spoil the mood of everyone who is nearby. These people spoil our mood in the store, in transport, at work, on the street, in the hospital. They get us in public places and government institutions. Well, is there at least one place in the world where no one will get and annoy us? We all have the right to at least one place in the world where no one will spoil our mood, no one will get us and will not tell us what to do? And it will be ideal if such a place becomes our home!
We have the right to go to bed during the day if we are tired, even if there is work at home. We have the right not to do something at the moment, simply because we do not want to. Sometimes you can afford not to do something, if you just do not want to.
Golden Rule
To make the story of a happy family life yours, take note of one gold rule. It sounds like this: “Don’t strain, but let’s not strain”. Stop in the family to strain each other with tasks. You are adults and you yourself understand what and at what point you need to do.
If you see that you need to do something, you do not need to immediately give this assignment to your soulmate - do it yourself. But this rule applies only to adequate people with a healthy psyche who understand the needs of their family. If you connected your fate with a bummer who will only be glad that no one is touching him and does everything for him, then accept our condolences.
An adult conscious person himself understands the needs of his family and tries to do everything to live in a happy marriage, he does not need to specify what to do. A happy family is the work of two. And who said it would be easy?