A woman certainly wants to have a strong family, which is connected by relations without fears and reproaches. However, these dreams do not always come true. And then the thought arises of abandoning her husband and starting a new life. At first, it can even scare. However, appearing more and more often, such a thought becomes more familiar, accompanying his mistress literally all day. But at the same time, a woman may not take such a step for a long time, pitying her husband. She suffers even more from this. So how to leave your husband to start a new life?
Reasons to Break Up
A happy woman can only be in union with her beloved man. That is why the representatives of the weaker sex, based on their age, social status and worldview, are looking for that life partner with whom it will be really comfortable.
However, not every one of them succeeds in meeting the ideal the first time. A woman falls in love with a man and recognizes him. But when she realizes that he is not at all the person whom she would like to see near her, the moment of parting comes.
Why do wives abandon their husbands? Among the main reasons, psychologists distinguish:
- Drunkenness, drug addiction. This is the main reason leading to a breakdown. A man who uses alcohol or drugs excessively becomes indifferent to his family and quick-tempered over time. He has lost interest in life.
- Physical violence. Parting with such a man is the way to save himself and his children.
- Constant betrayal. There are women who turn a blind eye to the adventures of their husbands. They are trying to save the marriage at all costs. Those wives who cannot forgive infidelity part with their soul mates without any regret. Over time, you can hear from them: "I do not love my husband."
- Perception of a woman as a free application. This is also one of the reasons for the breakup. Over time, wives begin to realize that husbands need them only to ensure their comfortable and cozy living.
- Differences of characters. Women often leave men because they understand that their union has no future.
- Unwillingness of the spouse to have children. There are many reasons for this. But a woman who realizes that she is losing her last chance to have a baby will certainly leave her husband forever.
- Lack of love. A woman should not try to portray passion. If she can confidently say: “I do not love my husband,” then she must decide to leave. Sooner or later, but it will be inevitable. The same can be said about the situation when a woman says: "I do not want a husband." Sharing a bed with such a person is not worth it.
- Unwillingness of the husband to provide a family. If the spouse does not work and does not even try to start looking for a job, then the woman should not support him.
Why is it so hard to break up?
How to leave a husband? Indeed, sometimes it is very difficult to decide to part, especially if you have lived for many years with a person under the same roof. Psychologists identify several reasons why women are afraid of divorce:
- Material addiction. It is very difficult to start a new life when the apartment, car and much more is the property of her husband. Often there are situations when a woman simply has nowhere to go. That is why she continues to live with her unloved spouse.
- Habit. Sometimes it’s difficult for a woman to part because of love. She continues to be near the unloved man because of a habit. Established life does not allow her to make drastic changes in her life.
- Child. A woman wants children to be brought up in a complete family. However, this is not at all an occasion to put an end to one’s own life.
- Threats. Sometimes men intimidate their wives so that they do not leave them. A woman does not dare to ignore threats because of fears for her life.
What to do?
How to leave a husband? The development of an action plan will depend on the circumstances that led to such a decision. Psychologists advise a woman to remember when she first visited the idea of ​​leaving her spouse. If such an idea arose in a rush, then you should just forget about it. After all, there are such emotional couples who are going to divorce with enviable regularity. It happens that they still bring this matter to an end, but after a few months they come together again.
Otherwise, it is necessary to argue for those women in whom such a thought has been ripening in consciousness for a long time. Most likely, it does not arise at all by chance, but because of a series of circumstances that do not suit them.
How to leave a husband? Psychologists advise women before deciding to think about their step literally to the smallest detail. At the same time, only your desires and feelings should be taken into account. In cases where the husband cheats, hits or humiliates, it is not worth it to justify such a spouse. No man should allow himself such an attitude to any woman. And even if he asks for forgiveness and repents of his act, sooner or later, such a thing will surely be repeated again.
A woman who decides to part, must think about where she will go, what she will do and how she will arrange her life.
Conversation with husband
And so the woman made a firm decision to part with her husband. How can I tell my husband that I'm leaving, so that he understands that this is not blackmail, not a whim or an evil joke? Everything will depend on what result the representative of the weaker sex wants to get.
In order to part with friends, you will need to follow some recommendations of psychologists. They will solve the problem without scandals and continue normal relations. What are these tips:
- above all, keep calm;
- do not make mutual accusations and forget about past grievances;
- to forgive the husband;
- keep the conversation calm;
- take care of your own safety.
Compliance with these rules can be very difficult. It is especially difficult to do this when there is a long life together, and the husband is not a bad person at all. That is why it is worth preparing in advance for such a conversation.
How to start a conversation about divorce, because it’s rather difficult to report such news? Before talking, it is recommended to take a mild sedative. However, do not abuse alcohol or use drugs in this case. It is unlikely that such a step will be right.
How to start a conversation about divorce? Psychologists do not recommend revealing the truth to a man, for example, that he doesn’t provide for his family, does not care for children, smokes, drinks, beats, cheats and walks. Such a beginning of the conversation will lead to the fact that the woman hears a lot of unflattering about herself. In addition, accusations against the spouse will cause him aggression. And this will necessarily lead to a waste of unnecessary nerves, deterioration in health, etc.
How do wives abandon husbands? A woman should prepare her speech in advance. You need to start it with the following: having picked up the right moment, tell your husband that they are different people, and their further life path diverges. Of course, much can go wrong at all. However, the woman will know what to talk about, and will not remain silent in response to her husband's reproaches. And for this, she should answer for herself the following questions, which will certainly be voiced in the conversation:
- Decision time. You need to understand that the idea of ​​divorce is not at all random. At the same time, you should not come up with soap operas, but show your spouse only dry facts and figures.
- Having a lover. The presence of another man in the life of his woman is particularly humiliating the representatives of the stronger sex. In order to avoid scenes of jealousy and deadly resentment, it is better not to talk about it. Otherwise, scandal cannot be avoided.
- The reason for the divorce. In this case, it is necessary to describe the problem that exists in the family.
The list goes on and on. A woman who has been married for a sufficiently long period must herself understand what her husband can ask about. Having prepared the answers in advance, she will be able to show more confidence in the conversation, avoiding weakness and tears.
Responsiveness
How to leave a husband painlessly? For this, psychologists recommend learning to forgive. This is not easy to do. Nevertheless, everything that has been said and done in the past should remain there. Otherwise, instead of talking about divorce, you get a normal scandal. Sometimes the consequences of such a drama are quite sad, from the hospital to the prison. That is why it is worth taking care of your own safety. After all, she is above all.
How to get away from a loving husband, because his response can manifest itself in the form of tears and prayers? However, if a woman firmly decided on a divorce, then she should not retreat. Indeed, most likely, a man is simply blackmailing her, and you should not give in to such things. But in any case, before starting a conversation, it is better to ask relatives or friends to be somewhere nearby, for example, in the next room or on the stairwell. After all, a man who is in a state of passion is capable of aggression, which could not be expected from him.
If the family has a child
A woman who decided to leave her husband in order to start a new life should think everything in advance. Especially if she, leaving her spouse, is left without money. When deciding on a divorce, this should be reported to the child. A woman will have to choose the right words for him in advance. This will allow the child to correctly assess the situation. Young children will miss their dad for the first time. And only with time will they calm down.
The child should not say anything negative about his father. And if in the future they want to communicate with each other, then this is not necessary to prevent.
Departing from her husband, it is worth considering the issue of alimony in advance. Help can be provided by a qualified lawyer. In addition, spouses can draw up an agreement in which they will prescribe the procedure for children to communicate with their father, his participation in their upbringing, etc. And only if the husband is not going to sign such a document, it will be necessary to submit an application for alimony.
Sometimes it is difficult for a woman to decide on a divorce, being pregnant or having a small child in her arms for up to a year. In this situation, it is necessary that close people are located who can provide the necessary assistance.
It is not easy to get divorced in those cases when the child has reached adolescence. The woman has to tell him about the reasons for making such a decision, indicating that it will be safer and better. The child will grow up and with time will be able to understand everything.
Sometimes children need the help of a psychologist. Sometimes only a specialist can eliminate the problems of the mental plan arising as a result of a divorce.
However, do not try to maintain the appearance of the family only for the sake of children. After all, the time will come, and they, having already grown up, will surely ask mother why she suffered for so many years. In the case when there is no love between dad and mother, there is no atmosphere of mutual trust and happiness and cannot be. Adults in such families often inflict scandals that negatively affect the psyche of children. Boys and girls take an example from their parents and transfer their mistakes to their future lives.
If the husband is a tyrant
Love in family life plays an important role in creating relationships. But will there really be a place for her if the husband periodically beats his wife? Having decided to leave the tyrant, a woman needs to take care of the place where she will live in advance. In this case, help can be provided by parents or friends. You can also rent an apartment in another city or area.
A good option for a woman with a child will be a crisis center. Its specialists will provide medical and psychological support, as well as provide temporary housing.
Of course, the unknown always scares. However, a woman must prove to herself that she is ready to resolutely fight for her freedom.
How to get away from a tyrant husband if he does not let go? It is worth remembering that the longer a woman lives with such a spouse, the stronger her psychological dependence on him becomes. Indeed, constant attempts to please such a person, fulfilling all the requirements presented, will form uncertainty in their own abilities. That is why psychologists recommend not delaying the decision and leave the tyrant as soon as possible.
In this case, a woman should think about why a man is needed, constantly spoiling her nerves. After that, you need to believe in yourself in order to become a person again. A beautiful, smart and self-confident woman should not tolerate violence in any form, as well as bullying herself.
If the husband is a jealous
This feeling destroyed many families. Pathological jealousy kills love, replacing it with hatred. It is not surprising that a woman may say over time: "I do not want a husband."
Anyone who believes that her husband’s jealousy has gone too far should not wait for Desdemona’s fate. If the husband is jealous for no reason, what to do in this case? Do not regret anything, do not hold on to material wealth, but simply leave before it is too late.
The experience of those women who abandoned their jealous spouses suggests that the separation is not as scary as it seems at the beginning. It is only necessary to "chop off the shoulder." This will avoid possible violence and scandalous scenes. To regret such a person is not worth it. After all, he hardly experienced such a feeling, plaguing his wife for years. How can love be talked about if a woman cannot live a day without a sedative medicine?
Psychologists advise not to speak in advance about their decision to the jealous husband. It is advisable to leave him quickly and without warning.
If the husband is a drunkard
Alcoholism is a serious problem of our time. And if she touched your family, then the careless husband, who from a charming and sweet young man gradually turned into a degrading personality, should leave as soon as possible in order to start life from scratch. This will allow a woman to get a chance and find a person who will appreciate her dignity.
How to quit a drinking husband? He needs to be informed clearly and clearly about his decision, indicating that no action has been taken on his part to improve the situation. A woman should be prepared for the spouse to beg and beg her, promising to stop drinking. But you should not believe this. Indeed, most likely, such a promise is far from the first.
You should not take gifts from this person and meet him. If the former spouse will constantly bother, it is better to change the phone and temporarily rent a house in another area.
If a woman is afraid that when a divorce is reported, a drunken husband will begin to make brawls, then he should leave him at a time when he is at work, leaving only a note.
If a woman still does not want to destroy the family, then, having left her alcoholic husband, she can watch him from the side. After all, one always wants to hope that there is even a ghostly chance that he will change his mind and recover from his dependence.
If the husband does not work
It is so customary in human society that the head of the family is her earner. However, if in life everything happens differently, and the husband is only annoyed by the conversation, the topic of which relates to his employment?
There can be only one way out for a woman. She should offer him to look for work or leave. It should be borne in mind that it is impossible to force a man who fundamentally does not want this to work. That is why in such a situation, the last word remains with the woman. How to leave a husband who does not work? First of all, to determine for yourself whether it is worth continuing to live with a spouse who does not want to take responsibility for the family and does not hesitate to be a burden for her.
Starting a new life
The most difficult period will be the first months after the gap. It will take time to put things in order in your thoughts and get used to a good place in a new place.
Psychologists give advice on how to start a new life for a woman after breaking up with her husband. If she has friends, hobbies and work, then she should go into social or creative activity literally with her head. You can go on a trip or show other activity.
It is more difficult to start from scratch for those women who previously worked in only one house. They are faced with the task of finding a business that generates income, and become independent. It is not worth hoping that it will be possible to get a highly paid prestigious position with a long break in seniority. You will have to start almost from scratch, but you should not refuse at first from the smallest. Yet it will be better than living with a man whom you do not love.
The new work will make acquaintances, overcome depression and re-arrange all life priorities.