In life, everything is so fleeting, so changeable and inconstant that sometimes one wonders: how quickly events, incidents, people in human life are changing. Yesterday's hobbies are being replaced by new ones, and more recently, emotions that are so dear to a person are no longer relevant today. It happens with the most sincere, intimate and large-scale human feeling - love. Where does love go?
How to understand that love is no more
Today, you can often see the separation of couples in love. Relations end both with young people who have recently met each other, and with lovers who have been living in a civil marriage for a rather long time, and even married people have more than a decade of husband and wife. All this happens for various reasons, but the basis of the conflict situation in most of them is the cooling of feelings for each other.
How to understand that love has passed? There are a number of certain signs in one’s own feelings and perceptions of what is happening in a relationship that are harbingers of the gradual fading of an emotional attraction to a loved one:
- lack of desire to spend more time together;
- ignoring any minor requests or demands from the second half;
- the manifestation of a certain indifference to a loved one, inattention to him;
- lack of intimacy or extremely rare sexual relationships;
- the emergence of new interests that contradict common, previously often used hobbies;
- boredom and monotony in a joint pastime;
- lack of past tenderness and warmth.
If at least a few of these characteristic factors of interaction between young people are felt on an intuitive or subconscious level, this means that the feeling of love has disappeared or is rapidly slipping away from them.
The reasons for the fading of love
For what reasons and when does love occur in a couple in a relationship? An emotional barrier, based on the cessation of people’s emission of mutual sincere feelings of attraction and attraction, arises on the threshold of possible misunderstanding, loss of shared values or loss of interest in each other. Why it happens? This may be preceded by the following prerequisites for family life of young people:
- addiction and the gradual development of love into a habit;
- eradication of feelings due to betrayal;
- the constant attempts of the spouses to remake each other and crush under their leadership principles;
- accumulation of hidden grievances;
- regular quarrels with and without;
- disrespect for mutual feelings and flirting on the side (even if it is without consequences).
Where the feelings go
The crisis in the relationship of lovers often does not allow them to find the root of the problem on their own. Where does love go? Psychologists explain the reasons for the loss of past feelings based on a specific situation, but state the fact of a general conditional problem, lurking in the banal loss of interest of both partners to each other or one of them in relation to the other. The fact is that feelings do not leave for no reason. This occurs either as a result of the emergence of a new object of emotional and physical attraction, or is recognized after the fact already at a specific stage of separation. In other words, if the matter does not concern a new love, a person does not immediately realize that he has cooled down to the second half. And here it is important enough to catch the turning point of the fading of the love hearth in order to try to fight with leaving feelings and to establish old warm relations.
How to deal with leaving feelings
It happens that for some reason a person begins to feel a loss of interest in his partner, or, conversely, to feel some weightless indifference and inattention on his part. At such moments, it seems that love is gone. What to do? Long-term relationships without moments of betrayal and clear conflicting grounds require a mandatory struggle for oneself and attempts to reanimate past feelings. How to prevent love from passing completely:
- start spending more time together;
- to go somewhere together on nature or on an outing with an extreme sport - a portion of new sensations will not hurt in the work on strengthening relations;
- print the album with old joint photographs and put it at home in a prominent place to periodically leaf through and recall good moments spent together;
- to diversify their sex life - not everyone knows, but intimacy in relationships has an incredibly powerful force, and a relationship built on sexual compatibility can keep a couple in union much longer than anything else.
Is it worth resisting the departure of love
If love passed for some tangible and noticeable reason - betrayal, drunkenness, assault - then it makes sense to think about whether it is worth resisting the fading of feelings. After all, that unpleasant energy, those strongest negative impulses that were felt during negative family scenes - they tend to sweep through the hearts and souls of people throughout their lives. This will pop up in consciousness every time there will be some kind of resonance or another family disagreement. So is it worth keeping such a bond afloat?
How to build a relationship, if love gradually disappears
Sometimes people are not able to easily part with their life partners, even in the case of specific jambs made by their halves. They wonder if there was love at all. Was there a feeling in the soul that united two people into a single whole and now disappeared without a trace, leaving some kind of fragile connection in the form of attachment or habit? There are individuals who are inherently conservative in nature. So, under no pretext do they accept sharp and sharp turns in their life. And for them there is nothing worse than change. Whether there was love, whether it was there, it left without a trace, or is it a temporary clouding of the mind - they are not ready to give an affirmative answer to the question of separation and are capable of any way to establish their relationship with a beloved person.
How to do it? The psychology of modernity offers several non-standard, but quite effective methods in working on yourself and your attitude. Write on a piece of paper a list with the positive qualities of your partner and re-read it at the very first thought of parting - this is one of the methods of working on the perception of a loved one in a positive way. Or draw a piece of paper on a piece of paper, on both sides of which to portray yourself and your beloved, and mark the crossbars of the rope ladder over the cliff from both sides every time one of the two takes a step towards strengthening family relations. The result is a fairly transparent picture of who needs these relationships more and who values them.
How to prepare a person for recognition in cooled feelings
If there comes a final feeling that love is over and there is no turning back, you need to gently and correctly inform your partner about the upcoming breakup. Having prepared the place in advance in a cozy atmosphere and be sure to outline the reasons for your departure as softly as possible, you need to inform your interlocutor about the break. It is important to let him know why this happened, and calmly, without shouting and reproaching, to explain that further continuation of the joint existence does not make sense.
How to prevent possible cooling of feelings in advance
No one knows in advance how their relationship will develop in the future. People meet, fall in love, get married, live. Then comes the moment when one of the two sharply comes the feeling that love is gone. What to do? The sudden reasons for the fading of love have already been discussed earlier. But in order to try to avoid attenuation of the focus of pleasant emotions and feelings between people, it is necessary to nourish them with positive joint moments. To minimize conflicts, stop rebuilding and bending each other for oneself, being attentive to each other and showing mutual respect - the foundation of human relations is based on common understanding and trust, we must not forget about this.
What to do when love is gone
If it so happened that feelings died, and attempts to glue the broken were not successful, you need to accept and let go of the situation. One love has passed, it will be replaced by new meetings, new acquaintances, new hobbies and a new meaning of life. You can not lose heart, give up, go back to unloved people again and again because of habit or pity - this still will not lead to happiness. After all, love was given to humanity so that it would be possible to feel the best and most charming emotional experiences and give each other that feeling that is able to kindle spiritual fires and bond the bonds with unbridled passion.