Most people, when provoked, lose all control over their own emotions and behavior. They are drawn into the conflict only in order to show how incapable they are of ignoring other people's remarks and nit-picking. In this article, we will talk about the most popular methods of provocation, how not to succumb to provocateurs.
Provocations - a way to create conflict
The first solution to the problem: never react to negative attacks that try to distort your emotional and mental state.
It is believed that if it is not possible to resolve the conflict, then it is best to get out of the dispute so that the most appropriate solution is to postpone this issue until better times. Thus, you can repay the controversy at the very beginning.
How not to succumb to provocations:
- First, try to get away from the conflicting person. It’s best to come up with a plausible reason.
- Secondly, try to limit your communication with aggressive and negative people. As a rule, provocateurs more than anything else love giving advice, teaching others in a didactic tone, getting into other people's lives, making changes, not hearing your objections and indignations.
- Thirdly, always get away from discussing topics that could provoke a conflict. Do not make excuses, do not explain the reasons for this or that action. Anyway, in the eyes of the provocateurs, you will be mistaken and look incompetent.
- Fourthly, with this type of people it is important to behave calmly and calmly. When a conflict arises, remember something pleasant in your life and return to the conversation, but in a good mood, and not in a fighting mood.
Every provocateur is a manipulator
Never succumb to provocations, because your life depends on it. It may seem for a moment that there will be no consequences after one conflict. However, it is not.
Any quarrel, disagreement or argument requires a large amount of vital energy. A person, instead of spending it on positive things, spends it on meaningless showdowns that bring joy and pleasure only to provocateurs. It is important to remember that each such person is a manipulator. Let's see who they are?
Manipulators are a kind of psychological rapists. They always play the role of aggressor, and a person who is being provoked is a victim.
Provocateurs will always try to disgrace you, blame you for something, make you feel guilty. If during a conversation you feel this attitude, however, like pressure from the enemy, then you should not succumb to its influence. In the worst case, he will ensure that the person begins to clearly adhere to his point of view, to support the opinions of others, no matter what.
Do not show pity or regret
Everyone has been taught good manners since childhood: to hold the door for an elderly person or woman with a stroller, to give way to public transport, help a colleague at work with a report, and spend the only day off to meet distant relatives at the airport. However, not a single parent will tell you how not to succumb to provocations, because they surround people everywhere, starting from early childhood and continuing until old age.
There is a type of provocateurs who like to put pressure on pity, while trying, for example, to dump their work on you. In no case do not succumb to your emotions and “good education”. Make it clear to the person that you have your own affairs, and you do not intend to fulfill the duties of others. Otherwise, people will begin to abuse kindness, starting to use you. And consumer relations drain a person.
Aggressive interlocutor
A person who succumbs to provocation should be prepared for the negative. Manipulators, as a rule, tend to cause aggression in the interlocutor. Speak calmly, no matter how he tries to provoke a conflict, and in the future, communicate as little as possible with this person.
Provocateurs are constantly trying to confuse you. For example, it happens that you are discussing one issue, and the interlocutor immediately switches to another topic of conversation. As a result, you cannot collect thoughts and remember what you chatted about.
Remind the person of what happened in the plot, ask him not to get confused, first discuss one, and then switch to another. Please note that provocateurs are always looking for topics that will hurt you, or at least unpleasantly.
Conflict is optional
Provocateurs do not always seek to drive you out of themselves through conflicts and quarrels. They can act radically, showing tyranny, mental violence, moral pressure. Often faced by couples in family relationships. Therefore, most people have a question: “How not to succumb to the provocations of a husband or wife?”
To maintain friendship and mutual respect in marriage, it is important to be able to control your emotions. If you are one of those who used their mood and state of mind to control your wife or husband, then this advice is for you.
Provocations on the part of one of the spouses are different. Some are trying to bring any conversation to scandal, and sometimes to a fight. Others, on the contrary, begin to manipulate their soul mate, completely depriving her of the right to vote and her own “I”.
The main features of a spouse-provocateur
If your husband (or wife) is trying to arouse guilt, use the words “always” and “never”, begin to behave aggressively, become silent and ignore any phrases or appeals, put forward ultimatums, are ready to shed a tear for pity, exaggerate disappointment, then you encounter provocations.
How not to succumb to them? It's simple: try to get away from the conversation, and if necessary, you need to leave the place of conflict (apartment, alley, guests). Stay in neutral territory until your spouse calms down and is ready for a sober and adequate conversation. Make it clear that you are not ready to give in to provocations, as you do not want to continue such a relationship with manipulation. Explain that if the other half does not change, then you will be forced to leave.
Of course, such an ultimatum is also a kind of manipulation, but they do not violate the emotional state of people, but rather are called upon to change their attitude and rethink behavior.
Among colleagues
Many people are faced with manipulations outside the home, which raises the next question: “How not to succumb to provocations at work?”
The team is not always friendly and adequate. Sometimes a person coming to work encounters people who are not ready to put up with a smile on his face and the fighting spirit of his colleague. They are ready in every way to disrupt his mental and emotional state. How to prevent this?
- Do not respond to the words and deeds of fellow provocateurs if their actions are limited only to endless questions and attempts to spoil your mood. Instead of a compliment, they can say that your hairstyle leaves much to be desired. Such people are able to put pressure on pity or a sense of inferiority, recalling that it was you who were deprived of the prize last month.
- If such fellow provocateurs interfere with your work, then try to talk seriously. Prepare an “airbag” for yourself by turning on the recorder unnoticed or by asking a friend from work to witness the conversation. Explain that if the provocations do not stop, then you will be forced to turn to the management of the company.
- Your friendly conversation didn’t lead to anything, but did you have notes or evidence that the manipulating colleague was interfering with the work? Contact your superiors, ask them to act on this person.
You do not belong there
Remember, never succumb to provocations. In the best case scenario, you will simply face stress, and in the worst case, you will face serious legal problems. Provocateurs seek to disrupt your emotional state, make life dark and problematic. For the sake of this, they are even ready to turn the cheek for a blow if their manipulations work.
There are cases when fellow provocateurs intentionally upset the balance in the team in order to get rid of one of their colleagues. There can be many reasons for this behavior: he wants to call a friend to the vacated place, he doesn’t like you personally, the manipulator needs to pour out negative energy, so he is looking for a weaker and more receptive person.
If at work you are faced with unbearable bullying, then think about changing places. Finding a good team is not so difficult, especially if you are a friendly and decent person.
Finally
If someone is trying to spoil your mood, trying to convey negative emotions, trying in every way to remind you of the worst things, then immediately get rid of such a person. When a provocateur is surrounded, a gap begins to form in your soul. After a while, from a confident and strong personality you will turn into a sandwiched, wilted, aggressive person.
The main task of the provocateurs is not just to bring others around, but to create their own kind, which, because of their insecurity and unrealization in life, will mentally destroy other people.