“I do not want to marry children either,” say the girls who prefer freedom. But the line between peace and longing is so thin that these two sensations can endlessly balance, replacing each other. A woman comes up with many reasons to justify her independence. And this is her sincere view of happiness. But there comes a time when loneliness becomes unbearable, and thoughts about the family and the child are frequent guests in the head of the fair sex.
Power of equality
Some women say: "I do not want to marry children, and this is normal in my view of happiness." It is difficult to disagree with them, since each person has the right to build his life the way he wants. A century has passed since equality between the sexes became a familiar way of life. So why can men afford to remain in the role of bachelors to old age, and women are forbidden? There is no argument to refute this point of view if a woman constantly feels comfortable. But if even the slightest doubt of the rightness arises in her soul, there is a reason to think about her future and reconsider her views on life.
The main motives that encourage a woman to be alone
When a woman declares: “I do not want to marry children,” she has strong evidence for this for herself and those around her. It identifies several main reasons why a girl avoids a serious relationship:
- unwillingness to infringe on your personal interests;
- Career and position in society are priority in comparison with family;
- material independence.
All these aspects far exceed family well-being in the eyes of the girl. Very often the fair sex draw such conclusions after a serious relationship with men. By comparing life before and after them, a woman is even more affirmed in her positions.
Reasons why a girl prefers to be alone
“I do not want to marry children either,” say women who have good reasons for this. This conclusion can be reached for a number of the following circumstances:
- Career. Many representatives of the fair sex devote their entire lives to careers and do not want to sacrifice it under any circumstances.
- Expectation. Many girls are so obsessed with the dream of meeting their ideal man that they are not ready to deviate from their principles even after decades of searching.
- Complexes. This is a setting in which a girl deliberately dooms herself to an unhappy family life (they will not be able to sincerely love me, deceive me, betray me).
- Rebellion. Girls do not want to obey anyone and compromise, they ignore all the arguments and reasoning of friends and relatives.
- Divorce. Women who have passed this stage and do not allow a repeated similar situation.
- Liberty. In these women, marriage is associated with a prison, which will deprive them of their freedom of action.
- Fear. Some ladies are afraid that after registering a relationship, the severity of feelings will disappear and romance will disappear, but they do not agree to everyday life.
- Pedophobia. This is a fear of babies, which, when born, spoil the figure, and after birth, the opportunity to pay enough attention to your appearance disappears.
- Victim. This is a category of women who are used to living for others. They raise brothers and sisters, nephews, children of girlfriends and devote their whole life to them, forgetting about personal happiness.
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Pros of a lonely life
The question of why girls do not want to marry and children is obvious, if we pay attention to the advantages of a free life. These include:
- the presence of a huge amount of free time;
- constant opportunity to look after your appearance;
- lack of obligations at home;
- uncontrolled time;
- the ability to communicate with other men;
- career building;
- the possibility of unlimited communication with friends and relatives;
- material independence.
Cons of a lonely life
The state when “I want to do everything I want” no longer pleases, when evenings and nights of loneliness appear, they seem endless. Weekends and holidays are no longer completely pleasing, one hope for a vacation. There are other negative aspects of freedom and independence:
- there is a state of uselessness;
- a woman often falls into despair;
- melancholy and depression are manifested;
- neurosis occurs;
- health conditions are getting worse;
- the meaning of life is lost;
- lack of moral and material support;
- no regular sex life;
- there is no hormone of happiness (life ceases to please);
- there is fear of the future.
Danger of loneliness
The situation when “I want to do everything I want” becomes dangerous if such a desire takes root for years. A woman gets used to loneliness and ceases to feel the need for a man. As long as she has parents and relatives, loneliness is not a problem. But after a while they will not be, and the woman will remain completely helpless. She is not used to talking with men and building relationships, so her chances of doing this in old age have a minimum positive percentage. Lonely women can face such dangers:
- Any breakdown in the apartment or a case where male strength is required is impossible. And calling experts on every little thing is problematic.
- All friends have their own families, and nobody is interested in spending time with a single woman. It is worth preparing for the fact that loneliness will become a constant norm of life on weekdays and on holidays.
- Lack of regular sex life will provoke the development of chronic diseases.
- There may be material difficulties in which no one will come to the rescue.
- The danger of falling into the hands of scammers in a single woman is very high.
Myths about Marriage
Many girls come to the conclusion: "I do not want to marry children either." 30 years is considered an excellent age for a man, because at this time he has a huge selection of potential brides. A thirty-year-old woman is already considered an old maid, and her chances of a happy marriage are sharply reduced. It is these myths that are the reason for girls to draw wrong conclusions and lose hope for well-being in their personal lives. There are other misconceptions:
- 30 years is a turning point, after which only flawed girls remain unclaimed. This is a fallacy, as the rhythm of life has accelerated significantly. At this age, in many countries, women are just starting to think about their personal lives. Our country is no exception.
- After 30, it is difficult to bear and give birth to a healthy baby. Modern scientists have determined the optimal age for childbirth - this is 34 years old, at which time mother and baby will be as ready as possible for a meeting.
- After thirty, it is difficult for a woman to find a worthy gentleman, since everyone is already married. Many young people prefer to marry adult serious women, rather than infantile young girls who are not yet ready for family life.
- Men prefer young blondes. This is a myth, since the average statistical age of women who marry is 30 years. Hair color does not matter.
Stereotypes
Stereotypes about marriage are firmly entrenched in women's lives. They do not allow the fair sex to feel happy. Among them are the following misconceptions:
- Act like everyone else. This is completely inconsistent with today's time, because living according to a pattern, limiting oneself in desires or forcing one to do what one does not want to, slows down development and stops progress.
- Getting married early as beauty fades. Family life has nothing to do with fading beauty. A woman needs to be healthy, tidy and well-groomed, this is a guarantee of attractiveness.
- Marry by calculation. This is a personal matter for every girl, since one can be happy both in love and in material well-being (it is better when these two aspects are combined).
- Must be born to keep a guy. This is a misconception, since children are never a fastening element of marriage. Even with children, people get divorced, and childless families often feel very happy.
Does a woman need a family?
Before declaring: “I do not want to marry children,” one must try to figure out whether this is actually so. In order to correct the situation, it is recommended to take three steps:
- Analyze the situation in your family. Trying to understand how the parents lived, whether this family was full and happy, and what caused the girl to refuse to enter into a serious relationship.
- Sound the installation, which is formulated in the head from childhood. For example: "A man is a burden, because it requires increased attention and can betray at any time." Such an attitude is considered incorrect; it is based on the insult and sad experience of the parents. You must try not to extend it to other men and reformulate in a positive direction.
- Find successful examples of happy families. See what benefits women have from communicating with their husbands and children, how pleasant it is for them to enjoy each other’s company and enjoy the successes of babies.
The reasons why women do not want to give birth to children
Often, girls have a question what to do if you do not want children. They are trying to figure it out: maybe something is wrong with them, because there are so many examples of happy mothers. Do not be afraid of such a worldview, you need to understand the causes of its occurrence. They are as follows:
- lack of moral readiness;
- the emergence of tremendous responsibility;
- lack of material resources for decent upbringing and maintenance of the child;
- lack of a decent man nearby;
- cardinal change in lifestyle;
- fear of pregnancy and childbirth;
- fear of a change in appearance before and after childbirth;
- the impossibility of building a career.
It is worth noting that the expression "I do not want to marry and children" always sounds from the lips of women who have not yet found their true love. All discussions on this subject will be irrelevant when a man of dreams appears nearby. Fears and fears will disappear, priorities will change. Therefore, do not waste time thinking long, but rather go off in search of your soulmate.