Do we love eccentrics, those who constantly attract attention with strange and incomprehensible actions? It is unlikely that they would rather make fun of them, consider them funny and even afraid. Adequate people, unlike those who constantly fall out of the norms and standards of communication, are much more pleasant and reliable.
The word itself is of Latin origin. Adaequare - "equate, equate." Consequently, adequate people are those whose
behavior and the way of expressing thoughts and feelings are acceptable, correspond to the situation, circumstances, environment. But this concept should not be confused with conformism, opportunism, dullness. The ability to anticipate the interlocutor’s reaction, to abide by generally accepted norms, and to restrain the manifestations of emotions that are undesirable for a given situation is the result of not only good education. It is also an indicator of intelligence and spiritual development. Why are we afraid of the insane? Because we don’t know what to expect from them. Adequate people, on the contrary, are quite predictable, and this does not mean that they are boring. In many situations (especially in business communication), when we expect to receive a certain reaction to our words and actions, manifestations of eccentricity are unacceptable. Imagine what would you experience if a saleswoman in a store, in response to your request to weigh 300 g of sausage or show a 44 size blouse, suddenly began to undress or clutch her head with a cry? Surely you would be uneasy.
Of course, history knows many examples of bright, extraordinary acts. Let’s recall the famous Khrushchev’s shoe. And far from always one should say only what is expected of us. It is rather not about the essence, but about the form.
Adequate people comply with the convention,
the communication style adopted for a given situation in a given society. However, since the etiquette of different countries and nations differs not only by conventions, but also by the limits of the permissible, it is worth paying special attention to this if we have a business or personal meeting with representatives of other nations.
Often, what is obvious to us and does not require additional comments, for our foreign guests or interlocutors may look strange or even offensive. For example, it is natural for Russians to visit each other without warning, just "drop by a glass of tea." But the German in this situation will not understand you and will even be outraged by your arrogance. It is customary to warn and pre-arrange a visit.
There are many such examples, but it is not features of national etiquette that interest us now.
Although the mentality very significantly affects all spheres of human life. Take at least such a concept as adequate self-esteem, that is, not overstated and not underestimated, corresponding to reality. But even here the very differences creep in. If modesty is considered a virtue for a Russian or an Asian, then, say, an American or a Spaniard will not be shy in presenting all his achievements in the most favorable light, embellishing them and once again emphasizing. A lot depends on education, on the model of behavior adopted in the family. But all this is also affected by the existing system of values.
And it is they who determine whether an adequate relationship will develop between two people. Whether the group members are able to meet their roles, mutual expectations, norms, also depends on many factors. One thing remains certain: in order for standards to be respected, they must be clear and obvious.