Heartache, suffering - this torment was experienced by every person. Resentment from betrayal, betrayal, injustice, grief, longing - all these feelings are associated with pain that can not be removed with the help of drugs.
Unfortunately, many people, trying to get away from their tormenting pain, are trapped in addictions. This applies to alcohol, drugs, addiction to gambling.
Running away from problems is the destiny of the weak. It sounds corny, but it is. Most people who are inclined not to take responsibility for their lives, who are looking for the cause of failures and spiritual discomfort from the outside, cannot survive the slightest pain and do everything in order not to feel it, which only exacerbates the situation.
On the other hand, mental pain pushes creative people to create masterpieces, for example, the most beautiful poems are written precisely in the state of mental anguish, looking for a way out.
What to do when the soul hurts?
Consider several possible situations when torment occurs, and try to understand how you can heal mental wounds.
Hidden benefit
Psychological work with a problem begins with establishing its cause. If you communicate with people who constantly “hit” pain points, you may not need psychotherapy. It will be enough to change your environment. But if you deliberately find yourself next to such people over and over again, it makes sense to think about why you need it. What pushes you to such "self-torture"? Is there any hidden benefit for you in this?
Secondary benefits very often cause severe heartache. In this case, the treatment will be useless as long as there is a need to achieve hidden goals. In order to change life, it is necessary to identify them and reconsider.
Woe
Another common cause of heartache is a prolonged experience, for example, from parting with a loved one or from the loss of a close relative.
In these cases, the help of a psychologist is often necessary, but the person himself can take steps to get rid of the problem.
Firstly, you do not need to nourish your memories by looking at photos of departed people or listening to sad music. Secondly, try to switch your attention to new activities, do what you like most, and most importantly, do not be left alone.
When experiencing grief, there is a period when you need to endure acute pain, release it. A therapist can help with this. If you are unable to forget the deceased person, try mentally talking to him and saying goodbye. Left alone, light a candle, think about who is gone, release him internally, deciding to continue living. Very often, such a choice requires real courage.
Bodily tension
Any phenomena of our consciousness, one way or another, manifest themselves at the bodily level. Acute mental pain leads to areas of tension in the body, or muscle clamps. For example, a hunched, tense back, “petrified” shoulders, clenched jaws. Such manifestations are the result of restraint. Movement frees the body, returns life to it, and, as a result, mental pain ceases to be unbearable, it “dissolves” and gradually leaves. Try to move more, walk, play sports, even if at first it will be difficult for you to force yourself to devote time to this. This will help you deal with the pain.
Work with restraint
Often you hear: "Do not keep grief in yourself, speak out, it will become easier for you." It really is. At the initial stage, a person needs to release negative emotions and share experiences with loved ones. If there’s no one to talk to, you can do a simple job: take a piece of paper and write on it what worries you, torments you, which makes your soul hurt. If you write sincerely and not hold back, you will quickly feel relief. This work is useful in that it helps to better understand yourself, and the experiences brought out outside no longer seem so terrible and insurmountable. By the way, after completing the work, it is recommended to destroy the leaflet. For example, it can be burned. This symbolic action will help you release negative emotions.
Defeat
Mental pain can also be caused by experiencing defeat in a case that is very important for a person. In this case, the memories come back again and again, there is a feeling of shame, tormented by thoughts about how to act. Such a state of mind will be cured if a person finds the cause of his defeat and builds a different mode of action. It is necessary to stop engaging in self-digging and understand what led to failure, and what qualities in yourself need to be changed in order to avoid this in the future.
In general, the psychology of experience is built to seek support in your mind, and only then work with the senses. An intelligent person is the master of himself and his life, which allows him to live through negative emotions without being captured by them. In addition, having learned to think and build our life correctly, we begin to work for the future, excluding the appearance of mental pain and developing resistance to the most diverse circumstances of life.
Heartache allows you to gain new experience and maturity. The main thing is not to be afraid to live in the present in its entirety, rejoicing, sad, tormented, learning lessons and achieving new victories. After all, we all came to this world in order to experience the fullness of being, and not to hide in the cocoon of experiences. Think about it, you can live and move forward continuously, or you can “re-live,” that is, stay in place while life passes by. The choice is yours.