Everyone knows that it is customary to pronounce congratulatory toasts at the wedding table. But what kind of wedding toasts should be, whether they need to be spoken in a certain order, or whether it can be done on a hunch, who makes the first congratulations and is it worth it to get involved in long texts - these questions are usually searched for immediately before the celebration.
Where did the toast tradition come from?
Where did the tradition of making table speeches originate, no one can answer. This custom is present in every culture in all corners of the planet. But the very word “toast” has a very traceable history.
In Greece, and later in Rome, it was customary to ennoble a wine that failed to taste with the help of bread dried on a fire. Those who drank, and not the cupbearers, did this directly. The time that was required to dry the bread and keep it in the glass needed to be filled with something. In Greece, the one who came up with the idea of ​​speech shouted "toast." Later, in Rome, where they feasted while lying down, the custom was transformed. The drinker, wanting to change the taste of wine, shouted a “toast” and raised a glass, this was a signal for the service staff, which was required to dry on a fire and bring a piece of bread.
Due to the geography of conquest, this custom, together with feasting Romans, ended up in Europe. The tradition itself was forgotten, but the word “toast” was firmly used everywhere, while retaining both meanings - dried bread and table-talk.
Bitter, sweet or sour?
Young wedding toasts are customary to end with the word "Bitter!". Every person also knows about this, regardless of whether he has been at least once at a wedding. But few people know that “Bitter!” Is not only a saying, but also a completely independent toast.
It refers to short banquet speeches calling for action. The homeland of this custom is considered to be the Scandinavian countries. As a rule, such toasts contain one or a couple of words, after which the banqueters need to do something.
Traditional wedding toasts, short and call to action, are:
- "Bitterly!";
- “Sweet!”;
- "Sour!".
All of them call for only one thing - for a kiss. The first is addressed to the newlyweds, “Sweet!” Means a kiss from the parents on both sides, and “Sour!” Requires the manifestation of feelings from witnesses. The latter does not imply a serious relationship and may well become caricature if two men have to kiss, for example.
What is a "toast"?
This is a wish of health, so often this word is understood. But in feast customs, this is a short toast, urging the guests present to wish the heroes of the triumph of health.
Toast is a primordially Slavic feast tradition. Like a number of other Slavic traditions adopted at feasts, a toast does not require action from those to whom it is addressed. The appeal is addressed to guests who, after a pronounced toast, should stand up and raise their glasses in front of them to support a toast.
In former times, it looked like this: all those present rose, chanted “for health” or “for long years”, depending on the content of the toast. After that, the goblets were emptied to the bottom, it was impossible to leave wine with the pronounced toast. When the guests drank, the newlyweds bowed, said, “We shall be sound!” And emptied their own cups. Only after that could everyone sit down and continue the feast.
Who opens the feast?
The very first wedding toast to the newlyweds is always pronounced by the father of the bride. If he is not there, then the “landed father” does it. If he is not there, then the right to open a wedding feast passes to the oldest male relative. If they are not, the toast is made either by a witness from the bride, or by someone from friends.
If there are none, then the right toast goes to the oldest male guest from the bride. The girl’s mother, any other relative or witness does not say the first toast. Just as guests from the groom do not do this.
In compliance with traditions there is a place for impromptu
The organization of a wedding is similar to the western judicial system in one nuance. They are united by the presence of such a phenomenon as a “precedent”. Each organizer, creatively approaching the celebration, has a lot of interesting stories from the past, which have become a kind of "wedding precedent."
There is a rather interesting story that happened at one of the noble weddings during the palace coups. All the aristocrats of St. Petersburg, one way or another, in those days were in political conspiracies. It so happened that the men invited by the bride had to urgently leave the wedding and go to "overthrow the ruler." And this happened before the start of the celebration. A brilliant way out of this situation was found by a young husband. He himself said the first toast, arguing this act by the fact that among those present there is only one relative of the newlywed - her husband. And he was absolutely right, because the young ones were already married, and in the tradition of the first toast, blood relationship does not matter.
This story is very instructive. Trying to distribute wedding toasts and greetings strictly in accordance with accepted customs, many celebration organizers begin to think in patterns and stereotypes. This leads to a boring and banal wedding.
At any holiday there should be a place for impromptu and creativity, even if we are talking about the very first toast. In extreme cases, the toastmaster can also open a holiday.
Parent toasts - what's the best?
Wedding toasts from parents are the most touching part of the whole feast. They are always listened carefully, often wiping away a tear. So parental parting words look ideal.
In fact, quite often the opposite situation occurs. Instead of touching wiping tears on videos or photographs, you can see guests covering their mouth with their hands in an attempt to hide their yawns, picking at salads or snacks, immersed in the study of the contents of smartphones, and so on. The faces of the newlyweds at the same time express a lot of emotions - from polite patience to "falling into meditation." You can see a lot, but not emotion or attention. It is not customary to interrupt the parents' toasts, therefore the toastmaster at this time usually goes about his business.
This does not happen at all because of the insensibility of the modern generation, but from the incorrect preparation of the parents. Often, they don’t just rehearse their toasts, they don’t even think through them. The result is a long story about how wonderful the bride was, or the groom grew up as a sweet and smart boy. And it all comes down to how badly fortunate the opposite side was in marriage. If the guests do not have time to fall asleep, then when the parents finish the speech, everyone goes out together, and those who are not prone to a bad habit find another reason to leave the table.
To prevent this from happening, parents' toasts must meet a number of conditions:
- first, from the father lasts no more than 7 minutes, the rest 3-4;
- contain a tie;
- be filled with a short story;
- describe your own attitude to the wedding with a couple of words;
- end with a call to drink for the young.
If you follow these simple rules, then the speech will not become boring. And to contain everything that I want to say, it is possible not in one toast, but in several.
What to tell parents?
Parents always make wedding toasts and wishes for children themselves. But this does not mean that there are no ready-made options that you can start with when thinking through your congratulations.
In the beginning of the first toast, you need to say who the person speaking the speech is, but this should be done in passing. You need to turn in a toast to both newlyweds, or even do without treatment.
Sample text:
“My children! Yes, I didn’t forget that I only have a daughter (pause, reaction of guests, usually they laugh). But I was just a mother for (daughter's name) a couple of hours ago. Now I have two beautiful, the best in this world and such beautiful children! And while everyone is celebrating the registration of your union, I celebrate the acquisition of a son and gladly share with you (the names of the groom’s parents, a turn in their direction) as a daughter.
And may it be customary to wish young advice and love on this day. I wish him to our whole new and big family now. Advice and love to all of us! ”
Traditional toast arrangement
Wedding toasts traditionally have the following order:
- father of the bride;
- parents of the groom, and from the second round of speeches and the bride and groom;
- grandparents;
- godparents;
- sisters, brothers;
- Witnesses
- guests.
The recommended interval between the toasts of the first round is 10-15 minutes, in the future this interval increases, but more than half an hour between the toasts should not pass. Of course, this applies to the time when everyone is at the table. Interruption of contests or dances for the sake of a toast is not necessary.
Return toasts from the bride and groom
Return wedding toasts from young people are necessarily pronounced for parents, grandparents, and godparents. For the rest, making a toast in response is not necessary.
An example of a response toast from the bride and groom in verse:
"Thank you for warm words,
For tenderness and love. Thank.
And let us now have our own family,
From under the wing we did not flutter.
On the contrary, (the name of the mother of the bride) has found a son.
And the daughter came to (the name of the mother of the groom).
But you do not enjoy this replenishment for long
Its huge and bright hearts. We promise to do soon.
Of you (the names of the fathers) of the grandfathers, instead of the fathers. "
The response toasts should not be long and there is no place for humor in them. If you want to sharpen, you should answer witnesses or well-known guests.
How to congratulate with humor?
Cool wedding toasts can bring revival to the holiday and make it less prim. However, for this to happen, humor must be appropriate and not be evil. Time for jokes in toasts is the moment when guests begin to get bored. Funny greetings and speeches from witnesses or from close friends are most appropriate.
You can beat a cool toast and turn it into a funny congratulation with comic gifts. An example would be this scenario:
“Witnesses with ordinary serious faces ask for silence and attention, announcing that they want to congratulate the newlyweds and present them with the most necessary gifts for living together.
One witness leaves and returns with the basket closed. An important point - instead of a basket, there can be anything; the bottom line is that the bride and groom do not see the contents.
The basket should contain vegetables, such as onions, cucumbers, cabbage and so on. Each vegetable is presented with an annotation, which the witnesses pronounce together, in the form of a dialogue:
“We give you cabbage!
What do you mean why? So that it was thick in the house! ”
“Let's give you a tomato!”
And discord will pass by you! ”
“We give you a cucumber!
Useful well done.
To and fro, for the economy - it is needed! ”
“Let’s give you now - carrots!
What love did not melt! ”
This type of wedding toast amuses everyone present and awakens guests at a party to continue the celebration.
Toasts made at a wedding, regardless of whether they are long or short, poetic, prosaic or otherwise, should carry positive emotions, kindness, joy, positive. This is a prerequisite for toasts and congratulations on the wedding day, and everyone else can be neglected if this does not spoil the mood of the bride and groom.