According to the World Health Organization , more than 800,000 suicides are committed worldwide every year. This is terrifying. Every 40 seconds, someone commits suicide, deliberately takes his own life. And all according to WHO statistics, suicide is the second most common cause of death in young people.
Why so many victims? What are the reasons? Where do the addictions come from? And, most importantly - how to dissuade a person from death? These and many other questions are worth trying to answer.
The essence of suicide
To begin with, it is worth noting that suicides are divided into two types.
Demonstrative. They are committed in a state of affect, unconsciously, under the influence of strong emotions or extremely intense stressful situations. This is not so much an attempt to pass away as a cry for help. A man is so trying to draw the attention of others to himself and his problems.
Still often, demonstrative suicide or its attempts are made on the basis of anger towards someone. It is accompanied by such thoughts: "I will die - and they will regret." And many do not even understand that, having obtained such a reaction from those who want to teach a lesson at the cost of their own life, they will not care. Because they will not be, and they will not be able to see the "result".
True suicide is mindful and meticulous. A man really intends to commit suicide at all costs, not paying attention to the opinions of relatives and friends. Moreover, so that nothing would interfere with him, he does not talk about it.
There are no goals to play in public. He just despaired. Life has become an ongoing chain of suffering that is becoming unbearable. Isolation, hopelessness, uselessness, resentment, anger ... this has long corroded him from the inside. He doesn't want to die. He just wants another life. But the alternative, unfortunately, is not found.
About misconceptions
People who want to know how to dissuade a person from dying should know that some statements regarding suicide and everything connected with it are incorrect. In particular:
- People who talk about suicide do not often end up with this. This is not true. Almost every person who committed suicide, gave signs. People just need to be more serious about the words of a loved one, be able to listen and hear, be more observant of his behavior, and more respectful - of problems.
- Anyone who has committed at least attempted suicide is crazy. Also not true. They are not crazy and not sick. They were simply swallowed by grief, depression and despair.
- You don’t even have to think about how to dissuade a person from death, because if you decide, then you will. An absolute lie. Even in the most severe depression, people experience mixed feelings about death. The choice between her and life fluctuates to the last second - when the impulse to end her suffering becomes maximum. But everyone can try to reduce its intensity.
- Those who killed themselves did not want to ask for help. This is not true. According to studies of victims, more than 50% of them in the last months of their lives sought medical help.
- Talking about suicide can provoke a desire to do so. Misconception. Desire for suicide is formed by life circumstances, and not by raising this topic.
Anyone wondering how to dissuade a person from dying should consider any sayings about the possibility of suicide seriously. Even if it was a joke. Humor, by the way, is the best disguise of the truth and cries for help.
Leading questions: the path to conversation
Talking with a loved one about his suicidal feelings and thoughts is difficult and difficult. Especially if there are only assumptions that he is testing them. But action is necessary in any case. In a welcoming and relaxed atmosphere, and somewhere in the middle of the meeting. Here's how to get to the topic:
- I feel anxious about you.
- I noticed - something has changed in you. How are you at all?
- I wanted to ask if everything is okay with you. It seems to me that you are not completely in yourself.
Clarification of circumstances
If you can talk to a person, then you do not need to immediately immediately give him inspirational lectures. It is necessary to clarify the circumstances. Here are some questions to ask:
- When did you start to feel like that?
- What served as the prerequisites?
- How can I help you now? If not, what exactly could really benefit you?
But questions like: “How can you even think of such a thing?” You can’t ask in any case, but this is clear to everyone. After all, it is impossible to feel his mental pain - what if it really is so unbearable?
How to have a conversation?
If we are talking about why a person does not want to live, then it is necessary to adhere to certain recommendations during such a conversation. Need to:
- Be yourself. Sincerely and with all my heart to let the interlocutor know about their care. That he is not alone. Many find it difficult to select words, but sometimes they are not needed - a visual manifestation of their intentions is enough.
- Listen attentively. The interlocutor must relieve his despair, share his anxieties, ventilate his anger. We must give him maximum will. And no matter how negative his speeches will be. The fact that a person spills out the accumulated is a good sign.
- Show sympathy, patience, calmness. Accept all his words, do not give them ratings. The sufferer must see: the interlocutor is on his side, he can entrust everything to him.
- Offer hope. There is no need for unjustified optimism. It is only necessary to convey - there are people who are ready to help. Support is available.
- Let the person clearly understand: his life is important to you.
This, of course, is not the answer to the question of how to dissuade a person from death. But the recommendations are helpful. They will help to competently structure the conversation and direct it in the right direction.
Sooner or later it's over
This is an idea that it is important to correctly convey to a person who does not know how to find a way out of a difficult situation, if not through suicide. Yes, so that he understands it in the right context.
The fact is that sooner or later everything ends. In a month, a year, two. Nothing lasts forever, and problems, whatever they may be, are also affected. Unfortunately, life is not what it is painted in fairy tales - in reality, it is filled with troubles, tragedies and grief.
But man is hardy. Even the most severe pain dulls over time. Problems are either solved or entail consequences that still have to be dealt with. Now, perhaps a bad thing. Tomorrow could be even worse. And this is normal, it happens. But the black stripes are still replaced by white. Dawn comes at night.
So it is in life. Having died, it will turn out to cease to exist and destroy its reality. Just fade away. And the world will continue to exist, as if this person were not born. But he was. Once he had happiness, dreams, goals, plans. The people he loved and those who needed him.
We must continue to live. After all, further could be better. We must hope for the best, because everyone deserves happiness. So why should someone be an exception?
Emergency situations
There is another important issue in suicidal psychology. How to dissuade a person from death if he is going to commit suicide now, this second? Everything is more complicated here, since there is a state of affect. So, you need:
- Dial 112 in an emergency, so that the specialists have time to save the person.
- If possible, isolate it, taking it to a calm and quiet place.
- Remove pills, knives, weapons, and other potentially dangerous items.
- In no case do not leave him alone. It is necessary to provide at least telephone support, or even send SMS messages if a person does not answer.
And of course, you need to sow doubt into your soul. How to dissuade a person from suicide? Make him doubt the desire to lay hands on himself. And to do this adroitly, without aggression, even gently. But do not ask provocative questions like: "Are you sure you want this?"
It’s best to hurt the living like: “Think about mom”, “Remember about your dream to fly to Italy.” The suffering person, even if he already has one foot behind the roof, will think for sure, because it is impossible to control thinking and consciousness. And such phrases hurt. And while he thinks, the peak of his condition will subside.
You need to remember this principle if you want to know how to dissuade a person from suicide. And then, when the misfortune is over, everything must be done so that he receives qualified help, as well as in every possible way to contribute to his spiritual recovery and the establishment of life.
How to learn about addiction?
Another topical issue. Well, there are tests for suicidal tendencies, compiled by psychologists according to a special technique. They include very tactful and cautious questions, which, incidentally, can be used in a normal conversation, intending to justify or refute their suspicions about the state of the interlocutor. They answer either "yes" or "no." Here are some questions:
- Can life lose value in a certain situation for a person?
- Could you ever be in a hopeless situation?
- Is the meaning of life always clear? Is it possible to lose it, or not to find it at all?
- Will you fight for life in any situation, no matter what it costs?
- Can hopeless patients who choose voluntary death be justified?
- Is life sometimes an order of magnitude worse than death?
- Is it any wonder that some people who find themselves in a difficult situation are laying their hands on themselves?
- Can you justify your departure from life?
Also, suicidal tendency tests do not contain questions, but statements that the person either agrees with or not. For example: “I can hide my inner state from others” or “Everyone has the right to do what he wants with his life. Even if the choice falls to death. "
Psychological background
If you want to know how to dissuade a person from suicide, then you need to study the reasons that most often cause thoughts of suicide. And if relatives of any of them need to pay special attention to their behavior. So, the most common reasons are:
- Depression. The condition is characterized by a loss of taste and meaning of life, a complete lack of interest in anything, apathy, depression. Man is not that nothing pleases - does not even satisfy. He does not live. It just exists. Who does not have thoughts of suicide in this state?
- Genetic aspects of suicide. Mortality risk factors include mental illness, stress, and somatic ailments. Much is hereditary.
- Psychological diseases, distortion of thinking.
Other reasons
These include:
- Drug or alcohol abuse.
- Previous suicide attempts. Attempts to complete what has begun.
- Chronic pain, terminal illness.
- Severe stress. Serious loss.
- Loneliness. Social isolation.
- Mental trauma.
It is also worth remembering that the high-risk group includes older people and adolescents. Some cannot accept age-related changes and come to terms with them, while others have an unstable psyche and an indefinite period.
Why aren't suicides buried in the church?
I would like to complete the topic under discussion by the answer to this question, which many people are interested in. The fact is that the church is especially distinguished by suicide among serious sins. After all, the one who committed it cannot repent of his deed and receive forgiveness. And in ancient times, the holy fathers even forbade even prayers for those who took their lives with God’s sacred gift.
However, in our time, people often come to churches and ask for a funeral service for a relative who has laid hands on himself. The church goes forward, especially if the person was mentally ill. After all, she, as a Merciful Mother, hastens to lend a hand of prayerful support to every unhappy person, as well as to his relatives and relatives.