If you go to the mirror and look carefully at the reflection, the question “who am I?” Arises, then it's time to figure it out. This will help to establish or even change your life, become happier and take a different look at the world around you. How to accept yourself, understand and love? Psychologists have a lot of advice and recommendations in this regard. Consider a few basic steps towards yourself.
Important basics
First of all, you need to understand what it means to "accept yourself." This does not mean throwing from one extreme to the other: from a heap of complexes and uncertainty to self-love and ascension to the category of saints. To accept oneself and one’s life is, first of all, to realize the whole value and uniqueness of the body and soul, of every moment and place, person and object, and also to understand its significance in this cycle of the universe. Sounds complicated and incomprehensible? In fact, everything is simple, if decomposed into points.
1. Unique personality
How to accept yourself if there is no compliance with generally accepted standards? The thing is that the world is changeable and you should not change yourself, blindly following trends and fashion trends. Today the trend is sports and healthy, tomorrow the well-fed and lazy will smile from the covers of magazines, and the day after tomorrow some other ones will smile.
If you live not your own life and do only what everyone does, then you can easily lose yourself. It is very important to remember that each person is unique. You should not put an end to yourself, only from the fact that in appearance, behavior or character there are not those qualities that should be. And they should be, in general, only because someone said so. Looking in the mirror, it is worth remembering that a person in reflection is unique, inimitable, and this, at least, is interesting.
2. Beauty is different
Having dealt with uniqueness, you can go to the next point - appearance. Are these unique body, face, arms and legs beautiful? Of course yes! And no other way! Eye color, if you look closely, is so deep and bewitching. Hair so beautifully frames the face and emphasizes femininity. The body, although not perfect, but also looks very good.
Accept yourself any and do not forget that beauty is very different. Think of some African tribes where women knock out their teeth or apply scars to their bodies to be beautiful. It seems strange and ugly to the European, and on the black continent this is the height of perfection. So what seems disgusting to one will look perfect for the other. Beauty is not an absolute, multifaceted and multifaceted concept.
Well, if these beliefs do not work, then go ahead for beauty! Gym, beauty salon, clothing store - anything! The main thing is not to lose oneself in pursuit of the beautiful, and, while making a new-fangled hairstyle or trying on a trendy dress, do not forget about the inner sensations. What happens if you remove this outfit and wash off the paint? Under the bright and beautiful wrapper, the same beauty remains as without without it.
3. Advantages and disadvantages
Having dealt with the exterior, you can go to the beauty of the inside. How to accept yourself if there are only flaws in stock?
Firstly, people without virtues simply do not exist. Everyone has something to flaunt and work on.
Secondly, is there really so much bad and so little good? You need to take a sheet of paper, draw it into two halves and divide all your qualities into positive and not so good. This should be done in a calm and quiet environment, so that no one interferes, and nothing distracts. Then, for each virtue, you can praise yourself or even reward. For example, treat yourself to cake or fragrant tea.
Now, move on to the list of shortcomings. It is necessary to include objective criticism at full capacity and analyze each point. Is this really a flaw or just seems so. For example, the directness and simplicity of a person in different situations of life can be both a good and useful quality, and completely inappropriate. This controversial character trait cannot be undoubtedly classified as a fault. And so on in the same vein. Having worked out the entire list in this way, you can make sure that everything is not so bad, and that there is no huge “black list”. And if some flaws still oppress and do not give rest, then you need to highlight them and work to eliminate them.
4. No comparisons
How to accept yourself imperfect, if all around are so good, beautiful and smart? Very simple! You must stop comparing yourself to others. You need to learn to cross out from your mind the idea that someone has longer legs, thicker hair, slimmer waist, and so on. Here we recall point one and three. Each person is unique and inimitable, but not perfect. Comparisons make no sense. They only develop insecurity, envy and other feelings and thoughts that are completely useless to anyone.
5. Cross out the excess
Very often a person does not accept himself only because his environment does not allow this. Do not sacrifice your inner sense of comfort and confidence for the sake of someone else. On the contrary, it is worth conducting an audit in their relations with others. Everyone who does not accept and does not respect as a person should be immediately deleted from life. The “good” advice of a best friend about appearance and love, if analyzed, may not be so sincere and good. And the statement about the “soul mate” is just an attempt to keep or subjugate.
People around must accept two truths:
- There are no halves, quarters, and so on. Each person is holistic and self-sufficient.
- Each person is unique and inimitable, interesting and beautiful, and there is no need to change it. If interested, talk, and if not, leave.
In addition, there are amazing people who cry all the time, whine and literally “draw” vital energy from everyone else. Such friends and girlfriends with prolonged communication can simply plunge into depression, from which it is then very difficult to get out.
And another category of “unfavorable communication” is those who assert themselves at the expense of others. If a girlfriend gives advice on how to make eyelashes as long as hers, or how to become as fashionable as she is, then most likely this is not a sincere desire to help, but an attempt to emphasize her own peculiarity by belittling the dignity of others . Such people are also not suitable for long and close communication, otherwise you can earn a bunch of complexes and uncertainties.
6. To love and be loved
How to love yourself? The advice of psychologists in this paragraph is the same as in all the previous ones - to be convinced of their uniqueness, originality, beauty of internal and external, and to exclude all who disagree with this from the circle of communication.
There is only one important nuance. Love, as you know, is not subject to reason. It is impossible to sincerely and truly fall in love with someone by force, even yourself. But there is good news - love for oneself to one’s own is inherent in nature. It already exists, just under the influence of some circumstances or people, this important feeling hid somewhere deep inside and must be removed, revived and filled with power.
You do not need to try to love yourself, but you just need to excite those feelings that already exist. And here the tips outlined in this article come to the rescue. Having appreciated all the advantages, making sure of his beauty and originality, and having cleansed his life of unnecessary people, a person will revive the lost feeling of love for his family.
7. Different emotions
Another very important rule: to understand yourself, accept and love you can and should be in any emotional state. Absolutely everyone is sad or sad, anyone can get angry or just “be out of sorts”.
Negative emotions are also part of the inner world. If you want to cry, then this is what the soul and body need now, and do not be afraid, shy, etc. Of course, there are situations in life when it is necessary to restrain emotions, but after that you can hug your favorite pillow and scream at her whatever you think, or go for plenty of fun.
Any feelings are natural and do not need to be suppressed. If there seem to be too many of them, then you can work out this separate issue, but without forgetting the first point - each person is unique, and an emotional portrait is an important component of this originality.
Little helpers
Simple things that are available to everyone today can help, accept, understand and love yourself:
- Camera. Take more pictures. Don't like the result? Then show photos to a large number of people (for example, you can post them on a social network). The second point will work right away: what seems ugly to one will look simply perfect for the other. And if there are strong doubts about photogenicity, then make a portfolio with a good photographer. A professional will be able to emphasize all the best and dispel doubts.
- Mirror. You can and should look at your reflection often and, necessarily, with love. Indeed, only in the mirror can you see the most expensive, close and dear person - yourself!
- A diary. Writing down all your victories and defeats, good luck and doubts, thoughts and experiences in a regular notebook, you can analyze and think about them, see them in a completely different light. If you re-read individual fragments after a while, this will help to get answers to various questions, including understanding yourself, your behavior and emotions in a particular situation.
To summarize
If, after reading the article and following all the recommendations, the question “Who am I?” Still remains, then here is the answer: smart, beautiful, wonderful person and interesting person!
The only way and no other way! So say the leading psychologists of the world, and specialists of this level simply can not be wrong.