Age-related crises are critical stages in a person’s life during which goals, values, even worldviews can change. In each such period, we part with the past and gain new qualities and traits.
The first crisis occurs at an early age, when the little man gets to his feet and takes the first step. Now he is no longer associated with his mother, he becomes a separate person, the whole world opens before him. In a year, the baby cannot yet realize the magnitude of the change that has occurred to him. But he will no longer be the same as before.
The next difficult transitional period is 3 years. The key words of this age is the exclamation: “I myself!”. This is a very important stage at which the formation of the personality of the baby moves to a new level. The child wants to be independent, he is aware of himself as a separate person and is ready to defend his borders.
Before school, children live another crisis, which is no longer so violent. At the age of seven, the baby will have to understand that he is no longer a child, children's toys begin to gradually fade into the background, the most important thing is learning.
But the most stressful age for parents is about 13 years. Yes, this is the very transitional age when a rebellious teenager turns upside down all the usual life values.
The formation of the personality of a teenager is difficult and often painful. Yesterday’s child is already ready to consider himself completely adult, but still cannot be.
Additional factors influencing the formation of personality at this age are rapid growth, maturation and hormonal surge. All this leaves no chance for parents to live a quiet life.
Teens often themselves do not understand what is happening to them, they are full of conflicting feelings, desires, their mood changes instantly. Outbreaks of aggression can suddenly turn into tears of remorse and self-pity.
How to help your child in this difficult battle for growing up? How to make personality formation less painful?
First of all, if before parents and children had a good understanding, it will not disappear. The foundation of good relations and acceptance, laid down in childhood, will save the child from disappointment in his own parents, give him support in the new life into which he enters.
Parents should explain to the teenager the features of his condition, answer all his questions directly and without hesitation. At this age, the child is trying to know the world in all its manifestations. It is good if the parents are around and can explain to him the intricacies of relationships between people, the difficulties and pitfalls of communication.
At the same time, one should not radically limit the freedom of a teenager. He must learn independence, and the task of parents to instill in him an understanding of good and evil.
At the age of 13, the opinion of an experienced and wise mentor is very important for a teenager. The ability to lean on an older one, to cry and to consult is a very important factor that determines the formation of the personality of a “former” child. If he does not find a response from his parents, he will seek support in another place. This does not always end well.
Many parents dream of their child sharing their feelings with them. But how to achieve this?
Moms and dads of grown children should always remember that a child cannot be rejected, you can not turn away from him. Punishment should be, but they are designed to help him understand the boundaries of what is permitted, and not cause psychological trauma.
Excessive punishment can undermine the authority of parents in the eyes of the child, and he will no longer trust them.
If parents are open and sincere in their relationship with the children, then the children will answer them the same. Mental openness in the family, the ability to speak on any topic without prohibitions and complaints is a condition for a painless and harmonious formation of the personality of a teenager.
Thanks to the atmosphere of mutual trust, the family becomes the place where the child will always find protection against any troubles. When a teenager knows that they will understand him and help him, he will come to the parental family for advice and support.