Want to be respected by others? Then think about how often you break into a cry in everyday speech? If this happens often, then you are an unbalanced person. Such people are disliked and bypassed. How to control anger and emotions? Read about it below.
Notice the provocation
Friends and acquaintances will make fun of you, knowing the weaknesses of your character. So, if you do not want to fall into the mud face, learn to notice the provocation. At the first stage, you can break into a cry. To understand how to control anger, you need to apply one simple trick. After the dialogue in which your nerves surrendered, you need to try to unwind the conversation back.
Take apart your replicas and interlocutor’s replicas one at a time. So you can understand what exactly you have lost your temper. By accumulating information of this kind, you can gradually notice a provocation, not retroactively, but directly in the process of dialogue. If you figured out a phrase that should piss you off, don't succumb to it. Try to keep cool. Imagine that you are fighting a real enemy. Smile at the offensive remark and in a calm tone, without raising your voice, continue to answer your opponent.
Keep track of emotions
How to control anger and anger? You need to be aware of all the reactions of the body. Begin to subjugate emotions one after another. Since anger and anger are the worst to control, start with positive emotions. When you feel happy, mentally mark what you feel and why. When you feel sad, try to understand the cause of the emotion. Gradually, you will be able to consciously control all manifestations of feelings, and the question of how to control anger will simply disappear.
But it should be noted that the practice of subjecting oneself to emotions is very difficult. Do not expect the miracle to happen immediately. It may take a month to realize one of the emotions and subordinate it to your will. But this practice will help you improve your acting talents. If you can voluntarily stop the manifestations of this or that emotion, then you can easily draw anything on your face, from wild joy to panic fear.
Understand why a person annoys you
There are many ways to control anger. How to achieve a good result quickly? You need to be aware during the conversation why a person is saying this or that phrase. First you need to make a lighter version of this practice. You just need to notice the topic of conversation and realize why a person wants to talk with you about the chosen topic. By drawing the appropriate conclusion, you can become a good psychologist. For example, talking with your girlfriend, which annoys you, you can understand that a woman is currently going through a difficult life stage. Her marriage recently collapsed, against the backdrop of this, depression and problems at work appeared.
Naturally, a person will have few reasons for joy in this situation. Do not be surprised that a girlfriend breaks anger at you. After all, at first the woman could just want to talk out, and then she could not control her emotions and decided to throw them out. This happens all the time. If a person yells at you, take pity on him, do not shout back. It is better to ask your interlocutors what problems he has in his life and whether you can help in solving them.
Do not add oil to the fire
Sometimes people quarrel over trifles. In a fit of anger, it’s hard to hold back. People become too frank and tell what they regret very much later. How to control your emotions and anger? You need to learn to shut up or change the topic in time. In the process of a fierce argument or just a little skirmish, try to understand whether it makes sense to continue the useless discussion.
If the conversation is already going on elevated tones, and the interlocutor begins to insult you, say that you have no desire to continue the conversation in a similar tone. At this point, your opponent may try to hurt you, for example, to rebuke that you are scared. Do not succumb to provocation and do not continue to lead to nothing leading the conversation. Many good relationships deteriorate due to the inability of people to communicate. Be smarter and do not add fuel to the fire.
Go out onto the balcony
Ventilating is sometimes useful. Remember the feeling when after several hard hours of work you go out onto the balcony and feel a rush of fresh breeze on your face. On the same balcony you can go mentally. If you are looking for a way to control your emotions and anger, then try a mental experiment. In the process of talking with a friend, step aside from the dialogue and look at yourself from the side.
Such a procedure must always be done in order to train the ability to think soberly and abstract at the same time. Then in a fit of anger you can use this experience. If you lose your temper, it will be enough for you to go out onto the balcony and look at the situation from the side, as if through the eyes of a person not involved in the dialogue. Sometimes this method helps to realize the meaninglessness of the discussion, which has switched to a raised tone. A fresh breeze of uncomplicated consciousness helps to clear thoughts, and you instantly stop getting hot.
Get away from the conflict
Want to save your nerves? How to learn to control your anger? If you are too emotional, then it is not surprising that you take everything too close to your heart. This feature of nature in most cases plays into the hands of man, but sometimes it causes some inconvenience. If you can not restrain yourself and feel that you are starting to get excited, get away from the problem. Do it physically first.
You start to swear with someone, just go into another room or on the balcony, and then return after two minutes when you cool. Yes, the interlocutor may not understand your line of behavior, but within the framework of practice this will be a good start. Then you will need to leave the conflict not with your feet, but with your tongue. When passions run high, just change the subject. For example, you talked about politics and did not agree, smoothly go to a topic that is close to you, but less emotional.
Relaxation and concentration
People who practice yoga can quickly clear their minds. If you have nothing to do with meditation, you can still try a simple practice. How to control anger and irritability? During the conversation, focus on your feelings. For example, alternately feel the position of your toes, then your hands, and then your head. Do not think about anything, focus on different parts of your body. Anger will slowly recede, as consciousness will not have enough space to process several emotions and sensations at the same time. And it is up to you, and not someone else and not the random thoughts that the interlocutor has imposed on you, to choose what at the moment will completely enslave your mind.
Focus on breathing
Not all people get out of the habit of quickly concentrating on the sensations of their body. Therefore, you can start with lighter practice. How to learn to control anger and irritation? Start focusing on your breath. You do not need to somehow change its pace. Just watch out for breaths and exhalations and count them.
Let your opponent blurt something at your expense. Get away from others. Only you, breath and numbers should remain in your mind, which will gradually replace each other and tell you how many breaths you exhaled. When consciousness becomes empty, connect to the conversation. You may be surprised by your opponent’s inappropriate behavior. When a person calmly responds to a scream, it turns the aggressor even more. But believe me, after a stupid quarrel, the one who shouted louder will be to blame.
Learn to believe that randomness is not accidental
People too often complain about fate. They are always unhappy with something. They are not happy that the street is too hot, cold or windy. But it is precisely these first negative emotions that give rise to a bad mood, which will pave the way for the emergence of anger and aggression. How to control your emotions? Learn to take your independent troubles for granted. For example, if you are late for work and are stuck in traffic, stop cheating yourself. No need to mentally sort through all the things that you could not have done and leave early.
You cannot return the past, and you are already in a traffic jam. In this situation, only one thing can be done - to come to terms with what is happening. And this must always be done when you cannot change or correct something. If it is in your power to improve your position, then something needs to be done. And if nothing can be done, you need to relax and consider that it is a sign of fate sent to you from above. You heard that people who were late for their flight only at first were angry with themselves and their unhappy fate. When the plane crashed, they thanked fate for saving them from death. So train yourself to always think in a positive way.
Find a hobby
How to control outbursts of anger? You need to learn to suppress your emotions. But psychologists say that unspoken anger will still burst out. It's true. So you need to find a hobby that will serve as an outlet for your emotional stress. For this purpose, any sport or dance is suitable. Physical activity helps to get rid of unnecessary thoughts, and at the same time to throw everything superfluous from the head, including an excess of emotions. If you do not like to play sports, then choose something creative for yourself. For example, you can do drawing or music. Draw half an hour a day, and you can get rid of the accumulated anger, as well as pump your skill and be able to give your friends wonderful portraits. You can do embroidery, sculpting, making furniture or figurines.