Love is a great feeling. It connects two people, helps to overcome difficulties and obstacles, teaches to rejoice, inspires. Thanks to her, a person accomplishes feats, becomes better, kinder. It is good when it is mutual and there are no resentments and disappointments.
But it happens that the idyll disappears, the feelings pass, but the painful attachment remains, the union becomes burdensome and painful. How to break off relations with a person to whom you are attached and you can’t forget him? What if all thoughts are only about him? Will you really have to suffer all your life? Of course not. Any situation has solutions. So, the article will discuss how to overcome love addiction and what needs to be done for this.
How does addiction manifest
Often after getting rid of addiction, many say that they were as if in a fog. And they are right. A dependent person idealizes his partner, does not notice his shortcomings, vices. Many psychologists compare love addiction with the effects of alcohol or a drug. A man cannot live without a partner; he is drawn to him so much that he cannot do anything with himself.
In fact, this is a disease, and to cope with it, you need to know the symptoms and the causes of its occurrence. Only in this way, putting everything together, it will be easy to stop the further spread of this “ailment”.
The question: “How to get rid of love addiction?” Requires a thorough analysis of information and an integrated approach. Every love story is unique. Everyone has their own destiny, therefore, it is impossible to develop a single plan. You will have to use the general tips that will be given in the article and choose the best way for yourself to treat love addiction. But first you need to find out how this disease manifests itself.
An obsessive desire to be with a person, to live his problems, to think only about him all the time resembles bondage. A dependent person ceases to do his own business, completely devotes all his time and even life to the object of adoration. But what does he get in return? As a rule, reproaches, pain and suffering. But this does not stop or repel him, but, on the contrary, ties him even more. He is not able to soberly assess the situation.
Signs of love addiction
They are as follows:
- A person dependent on love always controls every step of the partner, and requires a report on his affairs. He will never let his loved one go to another city, because every minute he wants to be with him.
- The addicted partner is constantly jealous. He checks the phones, parses behavior and conversations with strangers. Any communication with the opposite sex is perceived as a betrayal.
- A person dependent on love has a desire to remake his partner. He cannot accept him as he is. Comments, reproaches, nit-picking begin.
- Dependent people begin to manipulate a partner with the help of emotions, tears and quarrels.
- Such people consciously agree to the role of a nanny, ignoring their goals, dreams and needs. They cherish, care for, do all the work for the soulmate.
- A person dependent on love, as it were, dissolves in his partner. He thinks with his thoughts, speaks with his words, looks at the world with his eyes. Never argues, accepts entertainment and lifestyle partner. He has to part with close people and friends in order not to listen to comments from them.
- Such people lose interest in work, study. They are perceived as a waste of time. Gradually, a person turns into a gray personality and becomes unclaimed by society.
- A man cannot imagine his life without a partner. Loneliness frightens him more than death. Fear of separation becomes intrusive.
- Having arisen love problems, the addicted person begins to “drink” or “jam”.
But do not confuse selfless love and devotion with recklessness and blind adoration. A loving person does not impose his presence and his feelings.
How to get rid of a love addiction to a man: ways and means
It is possible and even extremely necessary to get rid of this ailment. Here are some tricks to do this:
1. “I deserve better!”
Psychologists advise every day to do auto-training and repeat the following phrases:
- “I deserve respect and love.”
- “I have wonderful and loyal friends.”
- "I'm professional".
- "I can provide for myself."
- "I can handle it because I'm a strong woman."
They will help you feel confident.
2. Step two - breaking up a sick relationship.
In a brief conversation, you should inform the partner that the relationship is ending. Then you should leave immediately. You should not enter into lengthy discussions and begin to sort things out. It is necessary to show decisiveness and perseverance. If it’s hard to do it face to face, it’s best to call.
As soon as you parted with a man, you should immediately remove all signs of his presence in his personal life. Destroy all objects that are related to it: photos, gifts, toys, shoes, clothes - everything that reminds of relationships and about him.
3. Time heals.
If the former partner is looking for a meeting, you should try to avoid all contact with him. Time will pass, and the relationship will be perceived as an episode from the past. Therefore, patience and fortitude should be reserved.
In order not to be tempted and not answer the call, you can change the phone number, change the email address, ignore social networks for some time.
You should leave negative relationships in the past and open your life to new joys and accomplishments.
4. We make a psychological portrait of a partner.
It is necessary to make a description of the former partner, and enter only negative qualities into it. You can list all the offensive words that he said, all the bad deeds that he committed. Attach this sheet in the most visible place and re-read it when there is an acute desire to call him or meet.
You can write a farewell letter in which to list all the emotions that are overwhelming at the moment.
5. To cope with feelings, memories and feelings and not return to the old, you need to write down all your thoughts on a piece of paper. In addition, you should make a portrait of an ideal partner on a white blank sheet of paper, write down the character traits that a man should have.
Psychological advice
Treatment of addiction to a partner is beneficial only when a person recognizes the existence of a problem of attraction and is determined to get rid of it. He must be prepared for the fact that this is a very long process that requires strength, patience and time.
Tips on what to do in order to recover from love addiction:
- If you can’t cope with this problem yourself, you need to go to church or to a psychologist. And in both cases, this will help strengthen spiritual forces, the psychologist will listen and give advice, tell you where to start.
- Find a hobby, pursue a career, study. That is, to fill all free time as much as possible, to occupy yourself. An active lifestyle will allow you to look at the world in a different way. Time flies by, but it is known to heal.
- You should stop blaming yourself for the past. Any errors are an experience. The past cannot be changed; therefore, it should be taken as a fact.
- Review all your personal qualities. That is, to take care of yourself.
- Analyze your actions and their consequences. To figure out what actions, actions, words led to the fact that there was a love addiction. Perhaps this is excessive gullibility.
- You should change your mindset and start living differently.
To understand how to cope with love, you should analyze the causes of the "ailment".
Psychological and social causes of addiction
Why do some people have sometimes strong and manic attachment to a partner, while others do not? Psychologists believe that there are reasons for the occurrence of love addiction:
1. Psychological reasons.
Children who have not received love in childhood need tenderness and attention. It is important to understand what role dad played in the life of a little girl, how the father-son relationship was built. Most often it is precisely “disliked” children who fall into love dependence. They cease to feel the measure and dissolve in the partner.
For children, parents are an example of behavior. Adult self-sacrifice is a negative example for a child. Having matured, he embodies in his life a model of the family that he saw in childhood. “My mother suffered all my life, probably, and I have the same fate,” the man thinks.
If in childhood parents formed a low self-esteem in the child, a lack of security, a lack of respect for themselves, then a person in adult life ceases to believe in dreams and only believes in the actions of his partner.
Position of the victim. People believe that they are unlucky in life, and do nothing to fix it. There are no obligations, only the direct fulfillment of its role. He lives here and now, completely not thinking about the future.
2. Social reasons
Society imposes the behavior of partners through movies, television shows, books, the Internet. If a person has a weak psyche, he doubts himself, then he accepts any foreign experience and uses it, imitating the heroes.
Early marriage does not allow girls to get an education. They fall into financial dependence and are forced to endure the tricks of the chosen one, not having the opportunity to leave him. Starting life all over again is very difficult and not everyone can do it.
“What will people say?”, “Will I disappoint my parents?” - a person lives according to the rules that are arranged by close people or the environment. He is afraid of change, and even more afraid of losing the location of loved ones.
Avoiding Old Mistakes in a New Relationship
An analysis of the causes of the diseased relationship will help prevent them in the future. To do this, you must:
- Find out the causes of addiction.
- Analyze them.
- Improve your self-esteem.
- Work on fears and insecurities.
- Never engage in self-torture.
- Think positively.
- Make a list of goals and plans.
- Make a written psychological portrait of a future partner.
You should learn to identify the symptoms of a sick relationship and break them at the very beginning of their inception.
Symptoms of Dependent Relationships
If the points listed below are present in the relationship, then you should seriously think about them and analyze your life.
Characteristic signs of a sick relationship:
- One of the partners is completely dissolved in the needs of the other, he lacks personal goals, aspirations, self-development.
- One of the partners has a feeling that there is nothing to breathe.
- If there is a dependence on the relationship, then the partner begins to invade the personal space of another.
- In a sick relationship, a person has an obsessive fear of losing a partner.
- Relationships are not developing.
- Jealousy, scandals, showdowns.
- All conversations come down to asking “where was he?”, “With whom?”, “What did he do?”
How does dependence appear in women?
Women’s love affection is not manifested in the same way as men, because by their nature they are more emotional, they are characterized by tears, tantrums. But it happens that a girl goes into herself, closes herself, withdraws from the outside world.
Many ladies, getting into a painful relationship, stop caring for themselves, eat a lot, often start drinking alcohol.
After a breakup, they are keen on melodramas or forums where they seek support.
A new relationship will help women cure an old ailment.
Deliverance technique
Getting rid of love addiction is a long and painstaking work. Here is a fairly simple technique with which to start the healing path:
- Try to relax and do meditation.
- Clearly imagine what feelings I would like to feel about the object of adoration: indifference, disgust, hostility.
- Imagine that this person is standing nearby.
- Imagine how he commits some disgusting actions (you need to imagine or remember about 5 such situations).
- Imagine it in a bathtub filled with animals or insects that cause disgust.
Repeat this technique for about a month, preferably every day. You can try to overcome love addiction with the help of auto-suggestion and auto-training.
Our psyche works wonders, you just need to direct it in the right direction.
Conclusion
While true love inspires a person, love addiction destroys the personality and often leads to psychological problems.
Psychologists note that women are more likely to suffer from excessive attachment to a partner. They focus on one thing - the one and only. In their minds, they understand that this disease must be freed, but they can’t do anything. This condition causes pain and mental anguish, so painful attachment and dependence must be fought.