A self-doubt person lives in a limited reality, he does not know how to correctly assess the situation, reproaches himself for every misconduct, and puts up with the idea that he is not worthy of the best. The question of how to increase self-confidence, sometimes visiting a person who doubts the value of his own self, already in itself becomes the cause of bashful thoughts about the frailty of existence: "I do not deserve happiness, good work, high pay, etc .; knowing everything In this, I have no right to think about either a career or a happy life, but I think - and for this I should be punished. "
This is approximately the way a person who has lost himself thinks, because the lack of faith in one's own abilities walks alongside low self-esteem. Most of our complexes are born in childhood, and the situation is also with a lack of faith in ourselves and our strengths. According to scientists, confidence / uncertainty is not an innate quality, which means that we are able to influence the level of value of our self.
If you have more than once thought about the question of how to develop self-confidence, then you can talk about the beginning of the path to "healing": as psychologists say, to realize that there is a problem, then take the first step towards eliminating it.
What do experts advise in such cases? How do they recommend overcoming their fears and doubts? What is advised to do to increase self-confidence?
- First of all, you need to protect yourself as much as possible from communication with those people who cause you to think about your own limitations and unworthiness. If in the company of a certain Mr. N you feel awkward, inexplicable shame, confusion, just get rid of the need to contact with him (of course, if possible);
- the next step is to monitor self-confident people and copy their behavior. Choose a person who values himself. Take a closer look at it, for sure you will notice that it is imperfect, it, like most of us, has flaws, but their presence does not deprive a person of faith in his strength. He is not afraid of his weaknesses, is not embarrassed by them, and therefore those around them ignore them. It’s like in a well-known postulate: if you want to hide something from others, put it in the most prominent place;
- When thinking about how to develop self-confidence, you probably think that you need to concentrate on eliminating your own shortcomings. And there is some truth in this, but what if we concentrate on our strengths? Write on a blank sheet of paper your merits, ask the opinion of loved ones. Read it aloud the next time you are about to scold yourself for the next trifle;
- stop criticizing yourself for every "fault", criticism should help to clarify the causes of what happened, and not form a consciousness of yourself as a complete failure;
- think about your future, what do you want to achieve, what do you dream about? Develop a plan to achieve what you want. Start small, praise yourself whenever you can do something important. When you realize that you can achieve positive results, success will not turn away in a big deal. Do not despair if something fails. As Thomas Edison said , the surest path to success is to try again and again;
- How to build self-confidence? Learning to forgive ... ourselves: past mistakes often prevent us from moving on; fear of stepping on the same rake paralyzes us. Meditate on the past from time to time, but do not let it control you. Feeling guilty, shame will also not allow to achieve success. Get rid of them. We can’t change the past, but we can do it from the lessons of life (and this is our experience, our past);
- do not blame other people for your failures, so you are depriving yourself of the opportunity to be the master of your life. Successful people take a firm stand and change themselves, which gives them the opportunity to maintain balance when our lives fall into a storm;
- try to assess the situation from different points of view. The view from the side is much more objective and reasonable. So you will learn to be more tolerant of others and more soberly evaluate your actions. At the same time, you will learn to perceive constructive criticism and use it for your own good;
- enjoy life, smile at the sunshine, walk barefoot through puddles, walk with children - inventing the attributes of a “real” life for ourselves, we are mistaken and move away from reality. Take time for yourself, listen to your favorite music, do your favorite thing - we have only one opportunity to live, is it worth spending this time on depression and spleen?
To the question of how to develop self-confidence, there is no single right answer. We are all different, each of us has his own life scenario, our fears and doubts. But this is not even the main thing. The most important point is this: do we really want change, are we ready to open the door to happiness? In most cases, the lives of drowning people are in their own hands ...