Loneliness is like a virus. It slowly and painlessly enters our life, builds a strong wall between us and the world around us. And when we finally realize the insidious consequences, it is too late. The reasons may be different. But the result, as a rule, is one: apathy, emotional hunger, a sense of uselessness and suicidal thoughts. Scary, isn't it?
Psychologists urge not to let things go by themselves and offer some advice for each situation. Let's try to figure out how not to go crazy with loneliness.
After breaking up
Unfortunately, not all serious relationships between a man and a woman lead to a wedding. And the longer the romance continues, the more difficult it is to survive the break. Usually one of the partners is sharper and brighter worried about this. The first thing friends recommend in such situations is switching to work. Having plunged headlong into the routine, you can supposedly suppress negative emotions in yourself and quickly let go of the situation.
However, psychologists believe that this method only partially solves the problem. Suppressed emotions will sooner or later remind of themselves, and silence and sad thoughts will reign at home.
When deciding how not to get away from loneliness after breaking up with a loved one, it is important not to become isolated. If you immerse yourself in work, then in order to buy a nice gift for yourself or your relatives with the money you earned. Even if you do not want to spend free time in noisy friendly companies, you need to walk a lot. And for more motivation, you can buy, for example, a puppy. Pets give energy and joy to the owners. They will not give time for self-flagellation and painful nostalgia.
On maternity
During pregnancy, a woman can still afford to go outdoors or to be present at fun holidays and parties. However, the situation changes with the birth of a child. The tireless chores, the lack of lively communication, and sometimes the lack of support, can harm a woman's mental health.
The way out of the situation, how not to go crazy with loneliness in the decree, can be a creative activity. In their free minutes, psychologists recommend drawing, sculpting, sewing, knitting ... In general, do whatever your heart desires. Communication with friends can be maintained through social networks. If it is possible to leave the child for a couple of hours with her husband, grandfathers or grandmothers, you can use this time to good use: for shopping or meeting friends.
In family
The feeling of loneliness often comes to partners who are already married. At first, the relationship seemed harmonious, happy. But after some disagreements that have long been in the past, or under the influence of external difficulties, the spouses begin to move away from each other. There are more silent pauses, less understanding, past passion disappears. What to do? How not to go crazy with loneliness in the family?
It is important here first to decide whether to maintain a relationship or not. With an affirmative answer, you must take the initiative in your own hands. Joint leisure is a great option for this. This can be a romantic walk, a photo shoot and compilation of an album, preparing a new dish, or you can take a risk and take a parachute jump or fly on a hang glider. The main thing is that all partners do together. In the process, you can discover new qualities in the second half, and the relationship will not only improve, but will go to a different level.
After losing a loved one
They say that "to survive is to overcome." Alas, this is not entirely true. Yes, it is possible to cope with the loss of a loved one, but later life can develop in different ways: closed, in despair and depression or wisely, with the awareness of continuation and hope for the best. Psychologists say that a person is imposing a feeling of loneliness in this situation himself. He fenced off from reality. The first few months are a normal reaction. But if depressive moods last more than six months, this is an alarming signal. How not to go crazy with loneliness in this situation?
Contrary to melancholy, it is necessary to be in a society, especially where there are many children or there are pets. By their immediacy and curiosity, these creatures evoke only positive emotions. And the more there will be, the easier the rehabilitation process will go. You can also start growing flowers and give them to friends and relatives. Happiness is contagious. Giving it to others, a person transforms himself.
After divorce
One of the most difficult problems in this category is how not to go crazy with loneliness after a divorce. Often this process is accompanied by quarrels, negative emotions, internal emptiness. A common mistake in this situation is switching to a new relationship. Usually this method gives relief only for a short time. The divorce is not emotionally experienced, and its echoes will be drawn into a new relationship, preventing them from developing harmoniously.
In order not to become a victim of depressive moods, psychologists advise a change of scenery. If financial and physical capabilities allow, you can go on a trip. New places, new acquaintances (but without obligations), new impressions will not let you get bored and will give you peace of mind and self-confidence. In extreme cases, you can limit yourself to a river cruise, a trip to a sanatorium or to friends in another city or country.
In old age
How not to go crazy with loneliness at 60 is the question of most older people. Approaching the retirement age, men and women equally have a fear of loneliness. And no wonder! Children have grown up, they have their own lives, work is no longer the goal of everyday life, there is no confidence in their health and strength. Feelings of uselessness and worthlessness appear. Of course, each story is individual. But the result is one.
Psychologists advise not to lose heart in such situations and try to look at everything from a different angle. Now there is a lot of free time, you need to use it for your own benefit: train your intellect (chess, crosswords, reading books), learn new things, find a hobby for your soul (needlework, craft), and do physical health. If possible, you can walk, attend special clubs by age, chat with peers, and maybe even with youth, to share experiences.
Due to personal frustration
Younger, healthy, but lonely people are increasingly found . Due to their complexes, fears or other reasons, they doom themselves to be unhappy and miserable. This situation suits some people. They "get involved" in the free rhythm of life and prefer comfortable solitude and silence. As a rule, such loners have pets or devote their lives to their beloved business. They are not afraid of depressive moods, as they are clearly aware of their choice.
However, there is a cohort of people desperately looking for love and understanding. But after frequent failures, disappointed in the search, they become depressed. Unfortunately, the female half is most often affected by this problem. When asking specialists how to avoid losing their minds to being a woman, it is impossible to get a universal answer. Indeed, the causes of disorder are individual. Therefore, the problem should be solved on the basis of them. The only thing you should not do is lock yourself in. You can visit special clubs and dating sites, go to parties, music concerts and exhibitions. As a rule, there are many young people at such events. New acquaintances lead to acquaintances and so on. You need to use any options.
In another city
For various reasons, people have to leave their usual environment and place of residence and move to other cities, countries, to other continents. The alien atmosphere and culture often cause emotional stiffness. There is a feeling of abandonment, panic, despair. How not to go crazy with loneliness, getting into such a position? Psychologists unanimously advise taking the initiative. Be friendly and welcoming, do not be shy to approach strangers with minor requests or seek advice. For example, how to get to such a street or where it is best to rent a house. Such trifles bring people together and have each other. Even a casual conversation in a store or transport can lead to an interesting acquaintance. Do not be “prickly” and be afraid of minor revelations. This is credible.
In the new team
A little trick will require mastering in a foreign team. Otherwise, depression due to lack of communication and like-minded people simply can not be avoided. As a result, personal qualities will suffer, as self-confidence will disappear. And the team will consider the newcomer a weak link, and will in every way ignore and avoid. To answer the question of how not to go crazy with loneliness, one should correctly assess the situation and the new environment. A little observation of the manners, words and actions of new colleagues will help to find common ground. Common interests and hobbies are an ideal base of friendships. Even if there are none, you can learn something new for yourself. For example, a team often makes trips, likes to play quests, or attends a golf club on weekends. This is a great opportunity to prove yourself and arouse interest from new colleagues.
Summary
As you can see, there are many reasons to feel lonely and helpless. But do not give up. This can and should be fought. Of course, there is no universal answer to the question of how not to go crazy with loneliness. Psychologist's advice is just a way out of the situation. A lot depends on the person himself, his individual qualities and aspirations. If loneliness completely absorbs a person, there are no forces to fight him and support from relatives, then you should contact a specialist - a psychotherapist. You may need medication. In any case, everything will depend on a person’s attitude to himself. Despite the difficulties, you need to move forward, look for options and train in yourself a positive perception of reality.