A charming person is one that attracts and pleases as a person, leaves a pleasant “aftertaste” and captivates other people. In other words, it is one that creates a sense of attraction. In this article we will tell you how to become a charming person and what secrets hide charismatic personalities.
Old school
In the past, charm was associated with heroes and knights who duel with villains to protect the honor of a woman. This would make her feel attracted to his courage and strength.
A little later, men who wanted to learn how to be charming, threw their jacket, coat or cloak in the mud so that the girl could get through without messing her shoes.
Old school movie heroes such as Errol Flynn, Carey Grant, Gary Cooper, Clark Gable and Humphrey Bogart from the 30s, 40s, 50s were attractive to women because of their confidence and celebrity status. Then, when the women saw how they said and did good things in films, they called them charming.
Today, charm is still an important part of male and female courtship, but it has changed in accordance with the requirements of modern culture. For example, if a guy threw his jacket on the ground so that a woman could get through, most would find him strange. Although a few decades ago, this gesture was the main one for those who wanted to learn how to be charming.
Qualities that Kill Guys' Ability to Charm Women
A man is considered charming, because he has the ability to attract the fair sex. If he thinks, behaves and does things that repel women, then they will certainly not be fascinated, even if the guy tries to compliment and behave as well as possible.
If a man is nervous around women, doubts about himself and tries to make women “like” him (instead of making them feel attracted), then he will not be considered charming. But those who do something useful and take care of girls are considered attractive. Let's see why this happens, as well as how to be charming.
Low self-esteem
If a guy is not confident in himself when he communicates with women, then he will not be considered charming. If a man has low self-esteem and expects that a woman will be gentle with him and give him a chance to know her, he will not be considered as a charming person.
If a guy has bad manners - talking with a mouthful, too loud or too powerful phrases, never says “please” and “thank you”, he does not like professions such as a waiter, he will never be considered charming.
A man may be able to attract some women who love bad boys, but most of them will think that he is an “idiot” and will start to avoid him.
If a guy does not know how to attract a girl, create sexual tension between them and seduce her, he will also not be considered charming. The fair sex can love him as a person, but they will never say that he is charming. Instead, she will see him simply as a good guy, friend or casual acquaintance, but there will be no sexual interest in him.
And the last: if a guy does not have enough social intelligence to be able to talk with women, to maintain an attractive conversation, then he will also not be considered a charming person.
How to become charismatic and charming
If you are a good person, then you already have 50% of being charming. The rest half comes down to your personal ability to attract women and seduce them into sex and relationships with you.
We live in a complex world. Despite having supermarkets, police, television, the Internet, the guy should still be able to make his own way in the world. Social intelligence is one of the traits that shows a woman that a man will be able to get along with people and potentially be a good person in life.
The original definition of social intelligence was coined by Edward Thorndike in 1920. Since then, many psychologists and sociologists have proposed minor variations in meaning, but in the end everyone came to a consensus. Social intelligence is the ability to effectively negotiate in complex social relationships and the environment.
When a woman meets a guy, she instinctively checks his level of education and upbringing, because this, of course, attracts the fair sex. She cannot stop herself from attracting him, because automatic behavior associated with survival is manifested.
If a girl feels that the guy is not even able to clearly express his thoughts and conduct a favorable conversation with her or her friends, then she will question his ability to live a happy life, where he succeeds, has good friends and, most importantly, supports excellent with her relations. When a woman begins to doubt it, she will feel on an instinctive level that he has no charm.
So how to become a charming man? Firstly, to cultivate self-confidence, not to be afraid of anything. Secondly, to be in constant development and to be open to new knowledge. Let's get acquainted with other effective tips.
Learn to Flirt
This advice applies not only to men, but also to women who want to learn how to be charming. You may not be sexy enough, but flirting will help you charm a person. People are incredibly fond of hearing positive comments and compliments. Be sincere, praise a person for and without, but do not overdo it. While you are giving warmth, your interlocutor will feel relaxed and enjoy the conversation.
Give the person the opportunity to speak out and share interests
When people get nervous, they often speak faster and tend to focus on sharing details about themselves. For your conversation to be charming, you must concentrate on the other person. Everyone likes to talk about their own hobbies and interests. If you want to make a good first impression, you should find out their favorite interests and direct the conversation in the direction that they like. The person you are talking to will be ready to develop a longer conversation because he is excited by the dialogue with you.
Smile more!
The most important thing you can do to charm someone is just to smile. People love to be around positive emotions. Allow your energy and happiness to infect others. This will make your interlocutor feel more happy and relaxed while being near you.
Use empathy
If you still want to learn how to become a charming guy or girl, then use this tip. When you listen to someone, make sure that you are actually focused on what they are saying, and also empathizing and supporting them. The easiest way to do this is to listen and not lose the thread of the plot. Often embarrassing or painful stories can help establish an instant connection. By sharing your excruciatingly awkward secret, you will seem sweet and understanding.
Be positive
Besides compliments and smiles, allow yourself to be positive in the conversation. This will reveal to you the secret of how to be charming in communication. If you look confident and happy, then the other person will enjoy being in your company. Remember, to be sincere, it is important to smile as often as possible. But do not forget that people can easily detect insincere emotions or empty flattery.
Let them have a conversation
Here is another tip that will tell you how to be charming and interesting. The most charming interlocutor knows how to pull out all the information he needs from people. Therefore, just let people have a conversation on their own - this will relieve you of pressure. Let the person himself speak of his own life. To get started, try asking basic questions about your favorite activities and hobbies. When they answer you, make sure that you are really interested in their answer.
Keep eye contact
Many guys ask themselves: “How to be charming for girls?” When you talk with someone else, note that eye contact is maintained throughout the dialogue. Over time, notice that people are divided into two categories - those who are not afraid to look in the eyes, and those who carefully look away. If you want to seem genuine and interested, then you need to focus your eyes on the person you are talking to.
Sometimes a piercing look works much better than a smile. Therefore, you can seem like a charming and charismatic person whom everyone loves.
Learn to understand when the conversation is over
If you have not found your soulmate, the conversation is unlikely to continue forever. Even when you are just unfamiliar buddies, the conversation will have to end at some certain point. You must learn when to ask new questions and when to complete a dialogue. Let your conversations be balanced, which will allow the partner to say everything he wanted. Once the dialogue has reached the end, you must leave before it becomes incredibly boring.