A person needs society, and as a result, communicating with other people, he compares himself with them. Often the result of this is envy. The fact that this is a bad feeling, we know from childhood. But why is this so? What is evil from this emotion and how to get rid of envy? Psychologists and religious leaders give advice.
Basic concepts
It is generally accepted that envy is a manifestation of anger and annoying feelings towards other people who own something that the object experiencing this emotion does not have. In most cases, people touch on the material aspect, but there are those who dislike other people's talents, appearance, personal life, and even habits, if they are at least somewhat better. But in fact it doesn’t matter what exactly became the subject of this destructive emotion, the main thing is that it does not bring happiness, satisfaction or any other benefit.
Many do not even pay attention to how they succumb to this stream of negativity. And he, in turn, slowly takes away their strength, inspiration and even badly affects their health. If you do not look for ways to get rid of envy and anger, then over time it will turn into a snowball, spoiling our relations with the team, making us insincere, unable to express warmth and positive, choosing the opportunity to enjoy life. According to psychologists, it is not enough to try to eradicate this emotion, first of all you need to find the reason for its appearance and tackle its eradication.
Dissatisfaction with oneself
Any person, even at the subconscious level, is aware of what he has shortcomings and what mistakes he makes. But if it has come to the point that he ignores them, does nothing, and the success of others provokes him to increase these negative emotions, then it's time to sound the alarm and look for how to get rid of envy of people.
Since a person experiencing this destructive emotion is lazy and always looking for easy ways, he chooses to be annoyed and try to belittle the one who serves him as a background to reflect his inaction and failure. That is how envy arises from the desire to justify one’s inaction.
There are those who express their neglect aloud, and those who do it in silence. The latter do not show a violent reaction only because they have already realized that this is not approved by society, but they have not yet found the strength to change something in themselves.
Constant comparison of yourself with others
The same psychological defense provokes constantly comparing oneself with someone. While a person sees in his environment those like him, he has nothing to worry about, everything is fine, he is no worse than others, and you can continue to live on the thumb. But if suddenly someone surrounded by age and affluence appears with great privileges in life, the envious person immediately begins to look for how to belittle this person.
Instead of understanding how to get rid of envy of people, he dissolves gossip and weaves intrigues so as not to feel flawed against his background. In addition, while there are no such threats on the horizon, you can safely lead a lazy and unhurried way of life, do not change anything, do not strive for anything, because everything is there, no worse than others. Meanwhile, laziness, inner passivity and negativity eat a person from the inside.
Ignorance of my desires
From childhood, parents, school and society instill in us a generally accepted framework of what is good and what is bad, what is success and what is defeat. And those who surrendered under pressure and mistook the templates for truth are unhappy, and they have no choice but to envy. After all, there is not enough personal strength and creativity to search for new ways and solutions, and when you go with the flow, you cannot reach great heights.
How to get rid of envy of people when it seems that rest abroad is good, and a trip to the country to dig a garden is a life failure? What if I once wanted to write books, but your parents convinced that nothing will work out, and only “real” work can make you happy and successful, and as a result, a crazy race for common goods with minimal resources and lack of inspiration doesn't lead?
Sincere desires are stifled even in childhood, and it is not known what can bring joy in life now. Therefore, a person follows the path of lesser resistance, that is, he takes for the measure of happiness what others have, but they don’t. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a car apartment or a successful creative career. The main thing is that he did not dare to walk the path to get what he wanted, and now, not knowing the complexity of the path, he is simply furious that someone has it. Moreover, he did not care about the nuances, for example, that a well-known actor had to not talk with angry parents for years or that a new car would have to pay interest on the loan for another ten years. The main difference is that they found the courage to go their own way, but he didn’t, but to admit and see a reminder of this was completely unbearable to him. And the only way here, how to get rid of the feeling of envy, is to gain courage and go your own way, risking, protesting, getting your way. Inaction will not lead to success, and other people's achievements will only increasingly erode from within.
Inability to value your
Many people do not live at the current moment, perceiving envy as a stimulus, something good. It seems to them that this emotion helps them achieve more in life, and they do not think at all about the question of how to get rid of envy of people, psychological methods seem senseless and irrational to them. But in reality, everything is completely different. A person is in a state of constant tension, having received something, he seeks out the achievements of others in order to continue his path of achievements and gains. But as soon as he gets something, he forgets about it.
For example, a thoughtless purchase of fashionable clothes: a friend has new boots, and I need, and it does not matter that this is the tenth pair, and she will be lying in the closet, it’s not even scary that the size is not the same, the main thing is to get this thing. But in reality, its benefit ends as soon as a person receives satisfaction from the achievement. Want to learn how to get rid of envy in this case? Learn to appreciate what is, enjoy life here and now. You can’t earn all the money, you won’t buy all the things, and what good is it if they are needed only for a second of joy, and all your life is spent on them?
Public opinion
We all have our own environment, and it imposes certain frameworks on us, responsibilities, so that we correspond to them. For example, a girl lives herself a full life, enjoys it, but has not yet found her life partner. And everyone around is constantly interested in when will she get married, sympathize with her, empathize. And over time, it begins to seem to her that she really needs it, and the more they say, the stronger the desire arises. She becomes unhappy, but she has neither the strength nor the inspiration to solve the problem. After all, this is not her true desire, but only a need imposed by society.
And over time, she begins to envy married friends, not even realizing that the main cause of annoyance is not the lack of a companion, but the ability not to hear an obsessive question that is already tired and infuriating. How to get rid of envy of people in this case? You need to understand yourself and learn to distinguish the social framework from the true desires and needs. And do not pay attention to the advice and sympathy of others, because if you are happy and without something that others have, then there is no reason to become unhappy due to constant reminders of this.
Vanity
There is a type of envious person who, by virtue of self-love, the one and only, perceive other people's successes as injustice. In their opinion, any good that didn’t come to them went to another person by sheer chance, the distribution was wrong, but in fact they deserved to have something. Moreover, they are sincerely convinced that they suffer and work much more than others, even if in fact they do nothing.
Method of disposal
The very first advice of a psychologist on how to get rid of envy is to start a search for your true desires, which will make you, and not society, happy. Which will bring you joy, not recognition of your greatness. If you understand what you really want and try to achieve this, then you simply will not have time and energy for envy. But be prepared for the fact that things and benefits that previously evoked this destructive feeling in you may lose their significance and become completely uninteresting for you. The most important thing is to develop the courage to go your own way, even if it does not at all correspond to the generally accepted standards of happiness and success in your environment.
It is necessary to stop communicating with people whose lifestyle is directly in contact with envy. After all, they are not interested in how to get rid of envy, the psychology of such people will begin to differ from yours, and believe me, they will do everything so that you leave the idea to change, because now it is you who will become the object of envy. Let there be those in your environment who can sincerely support you without feeling vulnerable because of your victories. If everything is done correctly, then the envious people themselves will leave you, it will become unbearably close to them, and interesting and successful people will understand that you have changed and will be interested in your society.
Interested in how to get rid of envy of people? Stop monitoring other people's successes and understand that you also have a lot of things. You need to learn to appreciate yours, because you yourself have chosen it and brought it into your life. Think: what if tomorrow it’s gone somewhere, disappears, then what? And if you really see your own, do not ignore it, then it will not go anywhere from you.
The energy that you spend on envy is colossal, and if you translate it into something useful, it will greatly improve the quality of your life. After all, if you look closely, this emotion is a force, though destructive, both of the object of negative emotions and of yourself. You need to admit that you are a strong and purposeful person, so you should not look at others. This is one of the secrets to get rid of female envy. Spend energy on yourself, and not on annoyance from the successes of others, because while you are worrying, you only aggravate your situation, and not improve it.
You need to take a closer look at what you envy. Look at the situation with a sober mind, without negativity. But is everything really so wonderful as it looks at first glance? And how exactly did a person receive this benefit? Perhaps he made some sacrifices for his sake, and you are not ready to pay such a price for such an unimportant object. For example, one girlfriend earns herself and does not depend on anyone, and the second is provided by her husband. Moreover, the second does practically nothing, but receives tens of times more cash. But if you look closely, the first one can stop talking to any man who insults her, and the second is forced to endure unprecedented humiliations so as not to lose his "wallet". And if the first one notices this, then she would never agree to get into such a situation by virtue of her character. Most likely, she even had many opportunities to live like that, but she stopped any attempts to humiliate herself.
Orthodoxy: how to get rid of envy of people
In everyday life, people classify envy into white and black, but the Bible is very firm on this issue. She attributes this emotion to one of the deadly sins. This is recorded in the Old Testament, the epistle of the Apostle Paul, and in the Ten Commandments of Moses. The Church considers envy the desire of man to possess that which does not belong to him. And it doesn’t matter what it is about material values ​​or spiritual qualities.
How to get rid of envy? You need to understand that God gave everyone exactly as much as needed, and no more. And the desire to take possession of other people's goods is a bad feeling. After all, it is completely contrary to God's plan. Only following his will can we gain the necessary experience and become worthy. The clergy insist on the idea that each of us has enough strength, resources and material wealth to live this life in accordance with God's plans.
How to get rid of the evil eye and envy yourself
This emotion corrodes not only the person who experiences it, but also the object of his irritation. Indeed, in a fit of feelings, in addition to negative perception, a person can go on to action. Psychologists in this case advise not to tell envious people about their successes, and if you have already done this, then also tell about the difficulties and failures in your life. You may confuse the envious person by asking him for advice or help.
If you are faced with outright manifestations of envy, in no case be fooled by provocation, the more negative and aggression you show, the more you will ignite the conflict and aggravate the situation. Especially if your opponent is an energy vampire, he will only get pleasure from your anger, perhaps this was his main goal - to erase the happiness on your face and unbalance you. And to save yourself from the evil eye, pin a pin on your clothes, only so that it is not visible to others. This is an old method that has not let anyone down yet.