Looking into the explanatory dictionary, you can see that a polygamous man is a person who simultaneously maintains sexual relations with several women (two or more). In addition, the concept of female polygamy is distinguished.
History of Polygamy
In primitive society, such a thing as monogamy did not exist at all. For our distant ancestors, polygamy was simply necessary - only thanks to it it was possible to constantly continue the genus and increase its number. In turn, this is what allowed the tribe to survive in harsh conditions. Of great importance was the hierarchy within the tribe itself. So, the leader, the strongest representative of the genus, had the unconditional right to fertilize any of the females, and after it, in decreasing importance, the other males. In parallel, natural selection took place , because stronger and more enduring children were born from stronger males. Why now is the word "polygamy" used most often in a negative context?
Transition from polygamy to monogamy
As evolution progressed, more stable and strong ties began to arise between individual representatives of different tribes. There were even the beginnings of marriage. However, they continued to be based on polygamy. A husband could have any number of women on the side, but his wife in the event of treason risked being stoned. By the way, it was in this version that harems were born.
Over time, questions began to arise regarding the division of property. They were decided very simply - since it was the males who dominated the society, a male child should also inherit everything. In order not to leave all the property acquired for a long life to someone else’s offspring, the head of the family had to be sure of his paternity. Here the question arose about the definition of paternity. Nowadays, this problem can be solved in just a couple of hours - the child and father take special tests, and then almost instantly find out the result. Then the only way out was monogamous marriage.
Religion played a major role in strengthening and developing monogamous marriage. At the same time, purely human relationships developed - in addition to the natural instinct of extending one's own kind, they began to play the role of attachment, feeling.
Is it true that all men are polygamous?
Many representatives of the stronger sex justify their love affairs by the fact that they are naturally polygamous and unable to resist the influence of instincts. This begs the question itself: “Perhaps a polygamous man is normal?” Let's try to figure it out.
Why are men polygamous? It is believed that the reason really lies in ancient instincts - primitive males tried to fertilize as many females as possible and leave as many heirs as possible. Are these instincts likely to work today?
Physiologically, men are truly prone to polygamy. However, one should not forget that a person differs from an animal in his ability to think and act contrary to the call of nature. Therefore, to be faithful to a man all his life is not easy, but possible. However, it is necessary to remember this not only for the husband, but also for the wife - surrounding her "male" with love, care, understanding, giving him everything that is necessary for happiness, she protects herself from treason. After all, a decent and able to be grateful person will appreciate what the chosen one does for him. And at least out of a sense of respect, she will not hurt her feelings by going to the “left”.
However, there are people who believe that cheating on the male side is normal, they sincerely do not understand why girls are so categorical about this. The main thing here is to be honest initially with your other half, immediately dotting all the "i".
And how are they?
What polygamous means, we have already found out. Now let's talk about the widespread myth that all animals are polygamous. This is far from the case. Relations between representatives of different sexes in the animal world are also built in different ways. For example, some birds converge only for the time of hatching and hatching, and the next time they are looking for new partners. There are arctic foxes, foxes and even some species of fish that practice exclusively monogamous lifestyles. But, say, beavers can behave differently depending on their habitat.
It is noteworthy that in the animal world, even polygamous males try to fertilize strong healthy females. A polygamous person, hiding behind his instincts, most likely does not even think about procreation and survival. At least in this case, he would have to choose exactly those women who theoretically could bear and give birth to healthy offspring (strong, with wide hips, and not just with beautiful breasts). If this is not the case, then talking about polygamy is nothing more than empty words in order to justify one's own licentiousness.
The benefits of polygamous relationships
So, polygamous relations are such a form of contact between men and women in which one partner maintains contact with several people of the opposite sex at the same time (yes, polygamy is characteristic not only of men, but also of some women).
We will leave moral issues aside and look at the advantages that a polygamous family can have. Just note that this is not about one-time betrayals, but about a real polygamous family (as in Arab countries, where a man can have several wives at once). Moreover, this is a full-fledged family, where each member has his own responsibilities, rights, etc.
Actually, the main advantages of polygamous families:
- from the point of view of biology, the diversity of sexual relations has a beneficial effect on the viability of offspring;
- a polygamous family is a rather difficult step for a woman, and if she agrees to this, then only on the basis of a deliberate agreement;
- as a consequence of the previous paragraph, the percentage of divorces in polygamous families is almost zero.
In addition, it should be mentioned that men can have several wives (in those countries where it is allowed) only if they have enough money to provide for the entire harem. That is, the wives of a sort of "Sultan" will be 100% sure that their children will never need anything, will not starve, and will receive a decent education.
The disadvantages of polygamous relationships
Now let's talk about the cons. First of all, a polygamous man is a person who should give enough attention to each of his partners. This is, to put it mildly, few. And although no one in the family lacks material benefits, some psychological discomfort can still occur.
You should also not think that you can get used to polygamous marriage, and that over time there will not be a hint of jealousy. Most likely, she’ll just have to come to terms with it as an inevitable fact, but nothing more.
In addition to everything, it was noticed that a polygamous person, who already scatters his attention on several partners, devotes less time to children.
Polygamy and domestic mentality
Someone can object and give as an example the happy polygamous families of the East. However, several factors should be considered. Firstly, polygamy is not prohibited by Islam (in contrast to Christianity, prevalent among us). Secondly, girls are brought up in this culture from an early age, they are psychologically prepared to become an “older” or “younger” wife.
It should also be borne in mind that in Arab countries, women have virtually no rights. Our girls, who fell under the powerful course of expansion, are unlikely to be able to share their man with someone. Therefore, the legalization of polygamous marriages in our country, most likely, will not lead to anything good - there is simply no suitable psychological foundation that has been formed over the centuries.
Is there female polygamy?
Unlike men, women have no historical background for this phenomenon. There are simply no corresponding mechanisms in the genetic code of the fair sex. Female polygamy is nothing more than a psychological phenomenon, even a deviation from the norm. After all, girls are genetically programmed not to bring children from as many males as possible, but to choose the strongest, hardiest and smartest representative of the species and give birth to offspring from him. In fact, polygamous women go across the genetic code and their natural purpose.
How to relate to polygamy?
No matter how we relate to this phenomenon, a polygamous man is a fairly common phenomenon. And the only logical way out of the situation is to do everything possible so that the partner is so happy and satisfied that he cannot hear the call of nature.