Rule 3 dating for men and girls. Where to take a girl on a first date

The 3 dating rules (or reciprocity exchange method) help build relationships and lay the foundation for living together. And sometimes they become a gravestone for a born love. The problem is acute even in the current generation. The modern age, quick feelings, sharp reciprocity and mountains of oversight are the main enemies of youth. What to do on the first date, how not to lose attractiveness in the eyes of a man, and what needs to be given to girls - we will learn further.

Some statistics for the attractiveness of consciousness

Love and relationships are what the kid faces in school or kindergarten when she likes a girl, and what adults have difficulties when they want to strengthen a couple, recreate feelings. It is always necessary for two to work on this, for a couple is the responsibility of both. Statistics in this area are conducted by various American and Russian colleges and universities. So, students from Russia decided to conduct a social survey that laid bare the true problem of all couples:

1. Women always think that they are more beautiful and attractive than men. Because of this, 12% of people are disappointed with the first meeting. At the same time, 28% of the total number continue to get to know each other better, but soon they completely break off all sorts of connections, burn bridges, and delete phone numbers.
2. Bad breath is the main problem on the second date. If there are rotten teeth in the oral cavity, make sure that these 64% of the country's population are not oppressed by an unpleasant odor. Cure teeth, brush, eat peppermint. Do not eat onions, you are not in Austria.
3. The problem of online dating - in 57% of cases, partners are dissatisfied with the appearance of another. Unjustified expectations, a reality incompatible with what they saw in the photo on the page of the subject of sighing.

Otherwise, everything is not bad, but there are some comments from people who admitted to "sins." They suggest that they are smarter and wiser than their partners. This applies to both men and women. The first meeting is always exciting, so they sometimes overestimate their capabilities. Men and women took part in the survey - you need to give yourself a rating on a ten-point scale. Each "loved" himself by 7-8 points, while the partners put a lower rating on the satellite.

From here questions arise, excitement, fair conclusions: what is the meaning of the theory, how does it work? Let us dwell on this in more detail, consider in detail all the pros and cons of practice according to theory. After all, this question excites not only the beautiful half of humanity, but also the strong one.

What does the rule of three dates mean: perspectives, tactics and the method of seduction

The model itself consists of three consecutive steps, which each time increase the force of attraction of partners, give rise to excitement and dot all the "i":

1. The first date means getting to know each other. This is the time to build a conversational practice that helps to understand which person is listening and who likes to talk. The process can take a long time and stretch over several dates. The first or even second date with a girl does not mean that you are allotted 2-3 hours of time for which you must like.
2. Scientists have proven that love at first sight exists, and to fall in love with a partner, 3-7 seconds are enough. At the same time, a person feels the dispelled incredulity, opens up on the other hand, becomes as if vulnerable in the person of a partner. The first rendezvous was successful, and at the second, acquaintance with the person begins - you learn hobbies, interests of each other, roughly compare your habits and principles, material and spiritual values.
3. If the second date could not be reached, there will be no third. At the last meeting, according to the theory, each partner already knows whether the relationship will continue or not.

The first meeting and the second behind, the third remains. On it, men, as a rule, “squeeze” a girl to lose her vigilance. This is not a strategy, but a complex of nutra of a strong half of the population, living in the consciousness and subconscious of a person. It all starts with a “standard set” of courtship:

1. Flowers are presented. In addition - her favorite sweets.
2. A bear or a plush toy is a nice way to remind yourself when there is no man nearby.
3. Cafes, restaurants, theater trips - spending time together as an imitation of a family weekend.

Usually, guys expect to continue, and girls believe that this is the end of opportunities. It's time to evaluate all the investments and efforts. And often after that there is a pause when no one calls. Guys think they haven't taken care enough. Girls are waiting for something more interesting, as they say, raising the "bar" to the next level. Psychologists say that the meaning of the theory of three dates is to evaluate, test each other, and then decide whether to continue.

How to understand that he is the same?

In order not to lose their head from illusions, it is enough for the girls to ask one single question, before coming up with names for common children and choosing a picture of the dress from the wedding catalog: "Should a woman work?" Further, it should be clear how a person breathes and lives, what kind of family man and husband he will be.

Some phrases kill male consciousness and understanding. And in order not to accidentally miss your fateful meeting, a man, a family in the future, ask everything that gnaws at your last date. This will help to prioritize, understand how a man thinks, what he wants. If he really thinks that a woman is created for work, he does not see your mother in you, but only an object for earning. This is the weak side - to see the male core in a woman and try to correct the lack of one’s inside in financial terms and opportunities.

If a man grew up in a wealthy family, he knows the value of words and deeds, things, he will not talk about the debts of a woman to him or his family. Indeed, no one owes anything, there is only mutual respect. If a man is a getter, a woman is a keeper of a hearth, then her work should be fun, and she will be able to "plow" in the kitchen, in the kindergarten before the matinee, at school meetings and on the eve of the registry office, shedding tears.

How to look for the one you should marry?

If you think that it’s not fashionable to wait for a fateful meeting and enter into legal relations before the age of 30, it is better for men not to read the article further. Now we are talking about a third date, when the girl is "still decent", but already ready for something more. Do not confuse this with intimacy and determination to "all at once." Girls have their own ideas about the verge of permissible and decency measures. If you deviate from principles and science with theories, then in practice, everyone decides when to start a sexual relationship, and when to continue a spiritual acquaintance.

Nowadays, unfortunately, some young people do not consider reckless acts as stupidity or a sound decision. For some, the meeting, presented by fate, comes immediately, for someone, it’s not enough for a year to understand feelings and ambitions.

Rule 3 dating only prescribes behaviors, but does not limit the couple in desires and actions. To resolve disputes, you should be guided by conversations - listen to each other and make decisions together, even if you think you have known each other for a long time, you know everything about a person. Their "skeletons" in the closet are not yet available, so do not rush to get them out of the closet and install them as a monument above the bed. Do not meddle in the soul - you cannot know what a person went through before meeting with you. It is not worth reminding of mutual respect, where each side, male and female, has the right to speak. And no matter what it is, offensive or subjective.

Dating theory through the eyes of a womanizer: how not to fall under the oppression of passions?

Tactics work in much the same way as with the standard seduction scheme. A man-lovelace can meet anywhere - a club, bus stop, transport, university and more. His main task is seduction and the impression that the girl wants to go on a date. As a rule, acquaintance begins and ends within half an hour. The second stage is the sacrament of a meeting at which he will not tell about himself, because there is still a third date ahead. Why reveal all the cards? As soon as he reaches an arrangement, he will try to leave.

For him, the rules of 3 dates do not exist, or rather they exist, but they are accepted by him in a different interpretation. During this time, he shows himself to the best side to obtain a result. The method is suitable for those men who have been deprived of female attention since childhood. They need to feel needed, leaders, conquerors. Psychologists argue that this is preceded by low self-esteem of the person who was abandoned, humiliated and disliked in previous relationships.

Girls should carefully perceive hints, a secret message for something more, since a man, fascinated by himself, cannot correctly catch the girl’s feelings as an interlocutor. By the way, the guy will not talk about himself on either the first or second date.

How effective is the theory?

It is believed that after the last meeting, young people should not see each other for at least 3 days in order to understand whether feelings have flared up or not. To continue the relationship, the right pace and tact is chosen. A bored couple will be doomed to build a relationship, of course, if the man does not find another “victim” of seduction for self-affirmation beyond the horizon.

Also, the rule of 3 dates says that this is the prerogative of men than the fair half of humanity. It was they who were created to search for means to catch prey.

1. The essence of a man’s understanding of the strategy of seduction is to obtain approval, consent to further dates and all that implies a positive answer.
2. If a girl invited on a date, this can frighten a man. Rather, this situation will be natural for those couples where the woman is like a “man in a skirt” and the guy is a pacifist who wants to look at the world through pink glasses.
3. The effectiveness of theory and practice will be maximized if both sides take into account each other’s wishes. It would seem that respect and the ability to listen come over time, perhaps in the 20th year of marriage. However, psychologists argue that first dates are always so exciting that they push a person to rash actions. And it always reveals potentials and opens its eyes to the “upstart”, selfish and proud “macho”.

In our century of fast-paced struggle for life, which flows from under our feet, it is considered normal if a girl invited her on a date. There is no time to wait for praise when he calls or writes. It is because of this indecision that many girls cross (oh, what a horror) the line of grandmothers, hoping to speed up the dating process. Often you can see a woman with a bouquet of flowers intended for a partner. In this case, the man does not need to be afraid of the “opponent", but make friends. Surely, deep down, the lady will open a gentle romantic or appear to be an ally in the game of World of Tanks.

If she is a man, or How to put yourself in front of a girl with ambition and a male core?

There are lovely-looking ladies who prefer to take everything into their own hands. A sort of "neck and head", which will think of a strong floor, will make a decision and fulfill it, keeping his word. Men need to understand that they are faced with an “ideal”, which is not ashamed to reduce to football, to offer a game of chess. However, no one cancels the theory of the rules of 3 dates of girls:

1. They will wait for the first steps from the gentleman, but their absence will not be a surprise.
2. Such young ladies always know what they want. If you do not offer them something, they will do it for you. This is frightening, but the man is a rather "bold" creature who will have to make up for lost time and meet the expectations of his companion.

Next to such girls, you don’t need to think what to do on the first date. The evening program has already been drawn up, and you are needed for the crowd, no matter how rude it may sound. The case when two swap places in the physiological sense. Why not? Also a good experience, quite interesting for both.

Is it dangerous to get involved with "simpletons" who are really "hysterics"?

We are talking about the half of the fair sex, who is waiting for a date on the first steps, is silent at the meeting and smiles, looking deep down through her eyes. And, it seems, nothing alarming, but the look and mystery, like a devil in a whirlpool. Such girls definitely need bouquets of flowers - a game by the rules, but nothing more. Harmless thoughts will sooner or later lead the girl to the question: "Why is he not calling to marry?"

This can happen on the third or tenth date, it doesn’t matter, but it will still be to think over speculations in search of an answer. Men do not need to be afraid of this behavior, because the girl is driven by self-awareness. Psychologists attribute this to psychological trauma, which is rooted in the genus. Unsuccessful marriage of grandmother, mother or, conversely, father, grandfather. But the priests look at it from a completely different perspective:

1. A woman by nature was born for marriage - building a family, the presence and care of family values, the birth and upbringing of children. However, she does not mind working, cooking, respecting her husband, indulging him.
2. Such girls on the subconscious do not like uncertainty. If the guy does not say when the wedding date is set, the woman starts to get lost - time goes on, she gets old.
3. Biological clocks are the main problem of such beauties. A man, as you know, can conceive a first-born at 35 and at 40. It is advisable for a girl to give birth to her first child up to 30 years of age, for "the further into the forest, the more complications."

From here prejudices arise, haste, awareness of a life passed by. A woman begins to crush a man from day one with questions of the type: “How many children do you want? What names will we choose for the children? And imagine grandchildren come, and the cat settles with us ...” Such conversations do not just scare, they repel the man. He, as a rational person, believes that the girl is ready for anything for her goals, not paying attention to the essence of sending her thoughts. In such pairs, the rules of etiquette on a date practically do not apply, they are out of place there.

Instead of the notorious cafe, a man should take care of an acceptable place for conducting such conversations on a second date. There, the couple will be closer to know each other's worldview. In general, the rules of conduct on dates are conditional, they are not established by someone, are not prescribed by law or the church. Everyone is looking for a “fulcrum” for building and continuing relationships.

How to build a dialogue if you do not know the psychological type of the interlocutor?

If you decide where to invite the girl on a date, then another dilemma appears: what to talk about or how to extend the time spent together. The task is not easy, but it is solved as an equation in algebra.

1. First find out how a person looks at things that are important to him. Then ask questions about your values. The partner does not have to share your views.
2. Men are encouraged to ask rather than talk about themselves. Who leads the conversation, he gets more facts. It is here that the guy can find out the type of woman, and she can show herself in all its glory not only externally.
3. A narcissistic interlocutor will always demand devotion. It doesn’t matter whether you give it to him or not, he will ask, remind.
4. Men who cannot help but look in the mirror will seek ways to gain respect for their person. At the same time, on the 3-4th date, he will want complete obedience from you, as from property.
5. Jealous and owners will not miss the chance to take possession of you. Mentally, without intimacy. As soon as you are revealed to him, wait for a request to provide the phone for verification.
6. Uncertain men are not against maintaining neutrality or even signing a non-aggression pact on their territory until the 8-10th date. Time is slow. By the end of the first year of dating (you can’t say otherwise), the guy will want to move on to more serious steps. Only until this moment your relationship will remain free.
7. Some men take the theory of three dates as an axiom, planning to get that cherished forbidden fruit on the latter. At the same time, no effort is made, there is no effort in seduction.

The last type of men is not looking for options where you can take a girl on a first date, how to invite to a second, third ... This is comparable to the expectation of wages, when there are three days left until the end of the month. Efficiency is not increasing, the sales plan is the same, but the right time to the end pleases, as if a miracle is about to happen.

Why don't the rules work?

There is still a type of women who does not consider either theory or practice as a means to move forward in terms of dating and forging relationships or useful connections. They are not used to experiencing feelings on themselves. The rules of 3 dates for men may not play in their favor, since for a woman it is a guard against surprise and spontaneity.

Sabrina Alexis in his book He's Not That Complicated talks about the ability to understand what a man wants from you: easy meetings and relationships, temptation and passion or sex without commitment. There is a saying by an unknown author:

The situation is in the hands of a woman before sex. As soon as she lies in bed with a man, she will lose control and power over him.

You can agree or disagree with this, but sex really affects people's relationships. They will become stronger or even turn into banal spontaneous meetings for the sake of "sports interest". One can blame the stronger sex for cultural prejudices, bad parenting or natural inclinations an infinite number of times, but the fact remains: a woman decides to give or not to give a man power after bed; the man decides whether to give the woman obligations to fulfill.

There are men like Al Pacino who are ready to get married at first sight. It scares, but does not repel girls who are able to go on an adventure. In addition, there is a benefit - the absence of dates, the waste of time and effort. If the rules do not work for men, then the girls are quite sad to face the truth:

1. She will insist on continuing the meetings.
2. She will scream silently: "I only alone on the 3rd date retired with the man of her dreams!"
3. He will consider that once is enough, it is time to move on.

Indeed, these rules are sucked from the finger - some do not work. Although some fully watch them and observe, as a meal. It doesn’t matter how much time you spent together, the main thing is how, where, what happened between you. A negligible percentage of people agree to continue relationships after early sex. Nevertheless, he is, despite the fact that women practically do not lose interest in a man after a joint meeting of dawn.