The child is 7 years old. A new frontier in life begins. The kid goes to the stage of growing up, goes to school. And then the parents begin to sound the alarm, they say, the child is uncontrollable, does not listen, grimaces. The main thing is not to panic in order to painlessly and competently overcome this difficult stage, you need to understand and find out the reasons for this behavior.
Mental features of the development of a child of 7 years
This is a turning point in self-realization. The kid begins to coordinate behavior with established moral standards and rules. This is a difficult psychological stage in a child’s life, because he still cannot control his emotions and restrain his feelings. Feels the need for respect. It is important for a small person to feel like a person. Only by satisfying the desires of the child, you can build a trusting, warm relationship.
The independence of the child should be encouraged, since this contributes to the development of intelligence and initiative, not to punish strictly for misconduct. Otherwise, guilt will become a stumbling block on the path to self-realization. And, of course, the style of parenting will influence the character of the child. More comfortable and acceptable will be the democratic conditions of leadership.
First graders are emotionally more developed than before. And it depends on the experience gained outside the walls of the house. Children's naive fears are replaced by new, conscious fears, the most important of them is the relationship with peers. And this for them becomes a priority than academic success and interaction with the teacher.
The worldview, needs and desires of the child are changing. This is a natural and natural process. And so we smoothly approached the question of why the crisis occurs in children of seven years.
What does the term “age crisis” mean?
L. S. Vygotsky was introduced into everyday life, which implied by him an integral restructuring of the personality as the next stage of growing up began. According to him, the crisis is a critical peak in the individual development of a person. Happens at the junction of two ages.
Features of the tipping point:
- There are no clear timelines. The aggravation occurs in the middle of the crisis and is the highest point.
- It is difficult to educate. This is a reluctance to learn, to build relationships with others, experiences.
- A negative development of the process is characteristic. The child becomes non-initiative, indifferent.
There are crisis:
- Newborn.
- One year.
- Three years. A period of stubbornness and denial.
- Seven years old. It was opened before everyone else. Characteristically unstable mental development, the desire to take the position of an adult. The quality of the neoplasm is self-esteem.
- Thirteen.
- Seventeen and others.
It happens to everyone differently depending on the environment. So, a crisis is a series of internal changes in a child with secondary external factors.
Consider the main symptoms
To understand this issue will help developmental psychology and developmental psychology of a preschool child. So, the crisis falls on the adjacent border of preschool and primary school age, the signals of which are:
- The loss of naive ease. Previously, behavior was based purely on desires. Now, before any action, the baby will think about what its price will be.
- Antics. Mental isolation pushes to the game of other people's roles. The child becomes different, portraying someone, hiding the truth.
- Closeness. Children often because of their fears, experience anxiety, worrying, they simply hide it inside.
Character features of a 7-year-old child are hard to miss. The temperament is changing sharply, there is a short temper, aggressiveness and even rudeness. Sometimes this manifests itself in extreme form: in the form of damage to objects, disobedience. The child does not make contact, sometimes demonstrating dissatisfaction with the refusal of food and drink.
There are opposite signs of crisis in a 7-year-old child, when parents and teachers are faced with excessive passivity and distraction. It is difficult for children, as it is necessary to quickly adapt to new conditions. To have a greater idea of the nature of a seven-year-old child, we turn to age psychology.
Preschool and primary school age
First, find out what developmental psychology does. She studies the development of the individual at different age stages of his life. There are no clear boundaries between the stages of growing up. The formation and involution of all proceeds individually.
Carrying out the transition from one age stage to another, a person experiences a so-called crisis. The old system of relations with the outside world is collapsing and a new one is forming. And, as a rule, this is accompanied by psychological difficulties, both for the person himself and for those who interact with him.
An individual goes through the first crises in a year, three and seven years (the latter is a transition from preschool to adolescence). So, primary school age is the pinnacle of childhood. The child at this stage forms a new logic of thinking. His worldview and values are changing, a new status appears in the school.
But if you take a four-year-old baby, unflattering reviews addressed to him, some grievances or disappointments do not leave traces in his memory and do not affect the process of becoming his personality. Only some preschoolers experience anxiety and low self-esteem, due to the fact that discontent and a high level of demand are prevailing in the family. Or there are students who have always been admired and praised, with a very high opinion of their person. All this is the result of not own emotional experience, but the result of assimilation of a constantly repeating assessment of parents and relatives, friends.
And when complaints come from parents that their children are not interested in learning, get tired quickly, do not want to go to school - this only means that by the end of the preschool age, the level of preparedness for school was not reached. So, thanks to developmental psychology and developmental psychology, we learned about the features of preschool children.
Reasons for atypical behavior
At three years old, the child becomes independent, and the crisis of 7 years in children is characterized by the formation and recognition of personality. So, for reasons:
- Analysis of their own feelings. Begins to learn emotions. It deliberately distinguishes between events that cause sadness and joy. And since it is difficult for a baby to cope with emotions, he shows aggression and disobedience.
- The need for new knowledge. He actively learns the world around him, previous games are not enough, he begins to copy adults.
- Admission to school. The event was marked by a change of environment. A child cannot set goals on his own, it is hard for him to realize the essence of success.
- Obtaining a new social status. This is due to a change in the scope of activities. If for a child of 6–7 years old the role-playing game was a priority, then when entering the first grade, the main thing is the educational work. He has to learn to receive knowledge and use it correctly.
An important role is also played by physiological causes, such as the dynamic growth of the body and the development of the brain. The question arises, how long does the crisis of 7 years in children last? Everyone has different ways, because it depends on many components and the environment in which the child lives, as well as physiological characteristics. It can be latent and light, lingering and problematic, and last from a month to a year and a half. The competent help of parents is important here. How to recognize him?
Let's talk about how the crisis of 7 years in a child manifests. The boy copies the behavior of adults. Often repeating heard phrases from a male. Sometimes they are obscene, for example: "She is a fool, because all women are stupid." Or this kind: "I said, period!" At this moment, do not abruptly pull it and report it. Competently and calmly explain why you should not say that, you need a father or grandfather, because the mother ceases to be an authority for him. At the same time, he can operate with a phrase, they say, why dad can say so.
They can even imitate smoking or clink glasses, like adults with a cup of compote. In this case, it is also not necessary to scream and beat the child, it is necessary to clearly explain.
The crisis in a girl of 7 years is expressed in imitation of adult women. They become interested in mom's makeup, perfume and outfits. Try on jewelry. And here work with girls is also better for father or grandfather. You can say, they say, how beautiful you are with me and without any makeup. If a mother or sister who uses all these feminine things utters a similar phrase, the baby's words will be received with hostility, with envy and resentment. Why can't she? It will seem to the girl that they do not want to let her into the adult world. Children need to be addressed. Be in trusting relationships with them, talk like with adults, spend more time together.
What is the peculiarity of the crisis of this age period?
The first thing to take as a rule is that you cannot ignore any atypical behavior of a child, whether it is a crisis of a girl of 7 years old or a boy. This can lead to serious consequences, such as poor school performance, as well as closure, low self-esteem, and even a deep stage of neurosis.
The crisis of 7 years in children in preschool age changes their worldview, they begin to distinguish between "friends" and "strangers". In behavior prudence is traced. To get the desired result, that is, benefit, first lose the situation. And any criticism from the side of the parents will be perceived with hostility. If praise for the simplest task is not received, a cry and cry will follow.
For a crisis of 7 years of age, children (primary schoolchildren) are also characterized by excessive curiosity. The child will be interested in serious issues such as politics, moral principles, family relationships. And only for the reason to analyze the knowledge of adults.
Children understand that they are imperfect, strive for knowledge and dream of achievements. Their spontaneity disappears. The temper becomes ostentatious, mannered, and at the same time, relations with parents are strained.
Psychologists point of view
There are two stages of the crisis:
- The first stage is characterized by rapid development. The result is an imbalance in the relationship of the child and the world.
- With the competent work of parents, everything is stabilized. There is a successful formation of a new personality. The child knows how to recognize and analyze needs. And the knowledge gained will help speedy adaptation in the new society.
Psychologists recommend sending children to school from the age of seven. Because up to this age, their gaming activity predominates. It is difficult for them to rebuild, and this causes problems with behavior. But still, you understand that you are facing a crisis of 7 years in a child. What to do?
Do not panic!
This is a natural process. To begin with it is worth calming down. The main thing is to behave correctly, and everything will pass safely. So:
- Do not deprive the child of freedom, in any case. He must independently figure out his experiences. You have only to control the process and unobtrusively direct the child.
- Remove limitless custody. Let your child be independent. Feeling this, the baby himself will seek help. And then you will have the opportunity to take care.
- Do not discuss your children with friends. Otherwise, trust relationships can never be built.
- Preparation for a new lifestyle should be gradual and collaborative. Show the child the future class, talk with the teacher. Observe the new daily routine together.
In a familiar environment, the baby will be much easier to adapt. To painlessly overcome the crisis of 7 years in a child, psychologists give some advice.
Recommendations of specialists
Of course, each child needs his own approach, but psychologists give general instructions that will not harm. So:
- Do not order! Everything needs to be presented in a playful way. You can tell an instructive story about the correct behavior, for example, the protagonist.
- Be on equal footing. Never put yourself above a child. This is a person who is capable of behavior based on his own experience.
- Let the baby join the discussion. He already knows how to realize and form an opinion. Give an opportunity to express it, only by teaching to bring arguments correctly. So, you show that you reckon with his decision.
- Do not abruptly switch from toys to books. Do it gradually through the game.
- No need to force the child to strictly adhere to the daily routine. It will bore him, let him choose the order of affairs on his own.
- Communicate on an equal footing so your baby can trust you. Together it's easier to go through school adaptation.
- Do not treat your child as property. No need to grow a copy. Understand yourself, because the baby is much more difficult.
Always stay with your child as a friend. Competent actions will help to overcome all age crises.
Let's give some more useful tips.
To easily cope with the crisis of 7 years in a child, psychologists advise:
- You can step back a little from the daily routine in the afternoon or in the evening, but as for the night's sleep, it should be full. It is necessary to lay the baby no later than 9 hours.
- Watch for food that is still four meals a day. Do not forget about vitamins.
- Do not load the child with additional information. He needs enough knowledge at school. It is better to distract the baby, help get rid of stress, go for a walk together, let ride a bicycle or roller skates, drive into the ball.
- Foster interest in learning. Buy a set of a young chemist or biologist, work out together.
- Teach the right communication, put the question correctly and answer correctly.
- Let the child become independent. No need to write letters and numbers for it, fold the briefcase and tie the laces. The baby should have its own responsibilities, for example, wipe the dust, take out the trash, sweep the floor, collect toys and books, and so on.
And most importantly - be patient. In no case should you break loose, scream, and even more so use foul language. This will aggravate the situation, the child will close. Just imagine what will happen in the baby’s soul ?!
And yet, let him choose interesting preparatory courses, take him to the sports section. There he will make new friends, will learn to communicate. Practice together, write down numbers and letters, speak aloud, solve simple mathematical and logical problems, draw, sculpt from plasticine, make a fun collage.
Which games to choose
Many parents forget that their first grader is still a child. Role-playing games remain their favorite pastime. Playing in the hospital, shop, school, mothers and daughters, children learn new social roles, learn to communicate. The main thing is to direct the child in the right direction if he tries on the image of a bad hero. The boy can be carried away with puzzles, the designer, and the girl can learn the basics of knitting, together prepare dinner.
Classes for children 7 years old can be of various kinds. Play the Cities. Everyone remembers this exciting game. For example, you say the word Moscow, the child comes up with the name of the city on the last letter of the previous word - Arkhangelsk and so on. Exciting and informative.
Think of the Crocodile. You can play together. One silently makes an inanimate or animate object, and then with the help of his hands and facial expressions shows it. Others guess.
All games should be aimed at the development of socialization, thinking and skills, such as pliability, mutual respect, the ability to agree and so on. Praise the child, and not just like that, but for a specific action.
Do not forget about education
This process does not consist only in preaching and punishment. It is very important precisely in childhood to lay in the character of a child such qualities as humanity, compassion, decency, responsibility, empathy, and also to teach to be kind, affectionate, gentle, caring.
Praise him for his good deeds, quality work. If the child is a little fake, do not scold him, especially in public. We need to calmly explain that working through the sleeves is bad and everything needs to be redone.
Teach your child to predict the outcome of the situation. For example, offer to help clean the apartment to go play on the street. If he refuses, you should not force, but make it clear that without his help you will be busy longer with household chores, and you will have to postpone the walk, and there will be less time for it.
Set rules at home will help teach discipline. For example, do not turn on the tablet without adult permission. Or in order to maintain cleanliness in the house, you can not scatter personal belongings.
In conclusion, we will give a few more recommendations to adults
Often children, falling into a new environment, become isolated, afraid of communication, become notorious and insecure. Here the task of the parents is to discern this in their little one and help to raise self-esteem, to become more determined. Always praise the child, say that no one will bake pancakes better, sweep, sing, and so on. It is important.
Let the kid choose a sports section or some interesting courses. This will broaden their horizons and provide an opportunity to make new friends. He will cease to be afraid of communication, will become more liberated. Learn to hear the baby. Help always and in everything, and then no age crisis will be scary for you.