A happy and ideal family is the dream of many women. But it happens that couples break up without having lived even a year. This article will be useful to women who decide to strengthen their marriage. It discusses the main causes of misunderstanding, and gives tips on how to find a common language with her husband.
Is it worth changing yourself or your spouse?
Let's look at the main causes of quarrels and misunderstandings. A woman should always remember that a man loved her just the way she is. Therefore, you should not adapt to your husband. With this approach, the spouse can move away, because the wife will no longer have that highlight that attracted him. Yes, and changing under the interests and tastes of the husband, the woman thereby invades the personal space of the spouse. And men do not like this.
This also applies to the fact that women often try to remake their loved one so that mom, girlfriends like him. Try to change his wardrobe, taste addictions to food. It must be remembered that a man married not to his girlfriends or to his mother. He liked exactly the way he is real, and not redone. Yes, and a man is more comfortable being himself.
Lack of positive
You can not be constantly on the negative or in a pessimistic mood. A man returning home from work, from friends, from his parents, wants to rest and relax, and not to listen to the next reproaches and how bad everything is. This does not mean that you need to wave your hand at everything and pull on yourself. No, you just need to find time for this, and not bother with the same conversations day after day. And sometimes you just need to give your family a break from everyday turmoil by a usual trip to the countryside and completely renounce all problems. Devote time only to each other. Otherwise, the husband’s communication with his wife may completely stop.
The smartest is the spouse
Men do not like women who consider themselves much smarter than her husband. They begin to teach what he himself knows well. And it’s better to take the rules for communicating with your husband that the spouses do not like phrases: “I thought so; I said that it will be so; I had to listen to me and so on. ” Such phrases are better to exclude. Otherwise, you can completely lose your husband. They like to be the head of the family, which means they are the smartest.
Resentment for no reason
You need to stop resenting your husband for no reason. After all, there are often grievances: he did not notice a new hairstyle, a new dress, and the like. If this really was an important event, and the spouse did not notice, then it is better to say it directly, and not be silent with resentment and cry in the pillow. In this way, another scandal can be avoided, rather than waiting for the husband to stop communicating.
Stubbornness and lack of trust
You need to restrain your stubbornness. Be able to take the first step towards reconciliation. Try to listen and understand. Give your spouse your point of view or explain the reason for the misconduct (for example, why was delayed).
Be sure to have confidence in her husband. Often a woman begins a quarrel with her husband because of distrust (jealousy), thereby trying to make it clear how she values or is jealous of them. And the man in response begins to simply move away without seeing this subtext. It’s better to say right away, directly: "I love you and therefore I am jealous." The main thing - you need to remember: the strongest marriage can be built only with full trust.
Family Responsibilities
In a family, all responsibilities should be evenly distributed. But if it happened that the husband works and the wife is a housewife, then this should not be taken for granted. You need to be thankful to your husband. Or the spouse speaks words of love every day, and in response silence. In the end, it will all stop. My husband will be pleased with the usual thanks, even for taking out the trash and taking the child from the kindergarten. You need to be able to timely and correctly express how you appreciate the spouse's care and love. Unrequited feelings and actions quickly fade away.
Failures Outside of Home
Do not bring home all the failures from work or resentment to a girlfriend to throw out on your spouse. When crossing the threshold, leave everything that does not concern the family outside the door. Otherwise, talking in the family will only be about work. And you just won’t be able to rest from her. At home, talk should only be about family. Then there will never be problems in communicating with her husband. And work difficulties are solved at work.
Money
An important cause of quarrels are monetary difficulties. Many women are raised in such a way that a man is a breadwinner and must provide financial support for his family. But if there were difficulties with cash, then this is not only a husband’s problem. A wife should also help to get out of a difficult situation, and not sit idly by and wait for her husband to resolve the situation. If the wife does not have the opportunity to earn extra money, then she must learn to save. It is not in vain that there is an expression: "I am rich not because I earn a lot, but because I can save."
Parenting
Quarrels in the family are due to different views on parenting. In almost every family, mothers pamper children. And dad, on the contrary, is strict with them. And this is normal. So children see male and female education. Mom teaches children to be kind, and dad teaches rigor and responsibility. That is why it is important for the child to adopt both parents in the upbringing.
Intimacy
An intimate question is also not a rare cause of quarrels. Sometimes a woman has little intimacy due to the fact that her husband works hard and gets tired. And it happens that a woman feeds her husband breakfast, transferring physical intimacy the next day. It is necessary to understand and feel the husband. Try not to refuse closeness when the husband wanted this. It should also be understood when the spouse is tired and cannot.
A woman must be beautiful!
The last point, but no less important. A woman should take care of herself. Quite often, ladies, being married, forget about themselves. They begin to gain extra pounds, clumsily dressing even for a walk. Forget about hairstyles. We must try to keep ourselves in shape so that the husband falls in love every day more and more.
Therefore, if there is no common language with the husband, then you need to assess the situation in the family. You should also review all the causes described and try to eradicate them. Living in a family where peace, understanding and love is much more pleasant. And to quickly figure out how to find a common language with her husband, there are some useful tips. We will consider them further.
Positive and praise
How to establish communication with her husband? Try not to get hung up on problems and always be positive. To translate any problem as a joke or see it as beneficial (for example, money income has decreased or you have been fired, so it's time to learn a new profession that will be more interesting and profitable). There are no hopeless situations. And if you sit and wail, then the problems will not be solved
It is also important to praise your husband as often as possible and say that you can only be proud of him. Of course, without going too far. Men are the same children and love to be cuddled and praised. And swearing and at work enough. Home needs kindness and affection.
We must try not to be offended and do not swear at trifles
A woman was initially considered wiser than men. And this must be confirmed by action. Do not raise a scandal (or remain silent all evening) if the husband forgot to buy bread after work. It’s easier to quickly go away or ask your spouse to take a walk again for a fresh loaf.
Since men are children, you need to be able to make concessions to them. Allow her husband to watch football, despite the fact that the series is being broadcast on a different channel. Also wait an hour after the spouse has returned from work, and then start telling everything that happened in a day. Give some rest.
Do not keep your husband on a leash!
The spouse should have free time to chat with friends, the opportunity to go fishing. You need to know that communicating with your wife does not replace communicating with friends. Sometimes you just need to relax from each other.
Diversity
Diversify routine life. It can be picnic trips, trips to another city for the weekend, so as not to recall problems in everyday life. Get away from reality. Even changes in intimate life can please her husband. They will allow you to escape from everyday problems.
Hobbies and control
Well, if there are joint hobbies. You can watch movies together in the evenings. Or just learn how to play her husband’s favorite games on the computer, in his team. Go to the gym with my husband and much more.
Stop controlling every step. Learn to trust your husband completely. When a husband sees trust, he will not want to lose it. And it will also be completely open for communication when they do not find fault with every word of it and do not look for a dirty trick and treason.
Learn to listen!
In a good family, a wife should be able to listen to her spouse and be an interesting conversationalist. Then there will be no such situation that there is no common language with her husband. You need to be able to direct the actions of the spouse in the right direction. But to do it as if the husband himself decided and did it. To do important things, such as buying an apartment, together, taking into account the wishes of each other.
Advice
Here are some more tips to help you get along with your spouse:
- Intimate life should not be domestic in nature. You need to be able to diversify it. Watch, for example, an adult movie together or buy intriguing underwear. You can play role-playing games. Intimate life in men often comes first.
- Do not blame her husband for low earnings, even if it is. Better to help find a way out of the situation. You need to be support. Motivate the spouse (and not reproach) to increase income. And when you succeed, be sure to appreciate it.
- If serious problems and complete misunderstanding of each other have arisen in family life, then it's time to arrange a reconciliation dinner. You can even visit the salon, buy a new, intimate dress. Set up a festive dinner with wine and calmly talk, find out all my husband’s complaints, and then, of course, analyze them together. Try to remember the day of acquaintance and make it clear what exactly you liked each other like that. In no case do not allow the occurrence or continuation of a quarrel.
- The husband should feel the main thing in the family. Do not put yourself above your spouse. So you can humiliate your husband. And here, even if you know how to find a common language with her Scorpio husband, the situation will be extremely difficult to change. No information will help. By the way, for a Scorpio man to be the main thing is extremely important.
- We need to show my husband that they are always waiting for him in the house and are very happy about his arrival, that he is needed and missed him. And if by the time he arrives from work he will be met with a ready dinner (and not scandals), then he will appreciate it as he deserves it.
- You should not run for advice to mom or girlfriend, how to find a common language with her husband when problems arise in the family. They need to be solved without outside help. Try not to allow outsiders to get into the family at all.
- Appreciate your husband for who he is. No need to try to change it. When they climb into the male space, the partner begins to resemble the behavior of a hedgehog. And begins to move away. You must be able to love all its advantages and disadvantages.
Former spouse
If you need to find a common language with your ex-husband, then the main thing here is not to insult him at meetings and not to say that he is the root of all misfortunes. Forget about grievances and remember that he is already just part of the past that cannot be changed. Try to maintain friendships for the sake of children. A good trick is to remember only good moments from life together. In this case, a common language is most often found.
Conclusion
The psychology of communication with a husband is sometimes known for years. The main thing - a man should know that they love him, believe him and value him. Do not ship your spouse with disbelief and constant reproaches. A woman has always been softer and can quickly level out the situation in the family. The most important thing is to know how to find a common language with your husband. And together no problems are scary. And to old age it will be possible to be proud of a happy and strong family.