Can I have sex in fasting? This question is of concern to many families, especially young ones and those that began to observe church laws not so long ago. Most believers will, of course, respond negatively. Families in which the foundations of Orthodox Christianity have been respected for several generations have an unequivocal opinion on this issue. Meanwhile, not everything here is so clear ...
What do people think?
If you conduct a survey among modern people on the topic "Can I have sex in fasting? " , opinions will be very different. Someone will say that it is impossible categorically. Other consider that it is possible, but only married couples. Someone thinks that registration of relations in the registry office is enough. And some will only ban free love, which in general in Orthodoxy is considered a terrible sin. Nevertheless, many people are wary of having sex while fasting. Where does the roots of these beliefs come from, and what are their causes?
The essence of fasting in Orthodoxy
So, one of the main questions posed by believers in fasting: "Is it possible to have sex?" Every canon in any religion is not taken from the ceiling. Sense and purpose are necessarily present in everything. In Orthodox Christianity, fasting means a time when you need to cleanse your soul from sinful thoughts, indulging in the most ascetic way of life. Any fatty food is excluded: meat, fish, etc. Alcohol, cigarettes are also banned. Well, of course, carnal relationships. It is believed that, abandoning all this, a person sacrifices to God, thinks about the eternal, makes his being more spiritual. And physical needs, on the contrary, put him on a par with animals that have no soul, but which are also doomed to eternal life. Only eternity is destined for such spiritless beings in the form of hell.
The Bible says that the satiation of many people led to death, but abstinence does not threaten anything bad. Moreover, it elevates a person above the physical world, makes him stronger, brings him closer to God. Accordingly, if you are wondering in a post whether it is possible to have sex, the answer from this point of view is one: it is impossible. Let's take a deeper look at this situation.
Parting words of saints
In general, if we are talking specifically about whether you can have sex in fasting or not, then it’s worthwhile to turn to the original source, namely the precepts of the Apostle Paul. He urged spouses not to shy away from physical closeness with each other and to make exceptions except for the sake of fasting and prayer. But! By mutual agreement. And then be together again so as not to give Satan a reason for temptation.
In other words, the saint gave the go-ahead to conjugal love, but he considered random connections to be the machinations of Satan. And so that there was no desire to surrender to them, he urged the spouses to prudence in abstinence, so that it was really for the good of the soul, and not to the detriment. That is, he did not set any rigid frameworks. From this we can conclude that you can have sex in the post, but only if one of the spouses can not abstain for a long time. For example, if the husband really wants, then the wife should not refuse him, lest he be tempted and sin on the side.
Other saints echoed the apostle Paul. So, for example, St. Dionysius of Alexandria, who lived in the fourth century AD, said that people who marry are judges themselves and must independently determine the necessity and duration of abstinence. But Timothy of Alexandria, in general supporting St. Paul, added that it would be nice for the spouses to adhere to sexual fasting on weekends - on Saturday and Sunday. Because these are the days when liturgies are held in churches. Here we can conclude that if it’s very difficult, then fasting is possible, but you need to restrain yourself at least during the days of liturgies and holy holidays. And the Orthodox world does not know other canonical covenants from saints.
Juggling
Of course, all believers try to keep the religious canons in fasting. "Can I have sex at this time?" they are interested. Religion is too dependent on the person. Unfortunately, highly spiritual people with pure thoughts do not always preach it ... And even more often fanatics put on the mantle. And so they all turn upside down. In collections, published, in particular, by Russian religious figures, it is stated that one cannot categorically engage in fasting. And on ordinary days, a ban on marital proximity was imposed, according to them, on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Plus liturgical weekends. In total, it turned out that parishioners were allowed sex only twice a week. Although the church canons did not require this at all ...
In addition, priests often, abusing their power, grossly interfere in the personal lives of parishioners. In the history of Russian Orthodoxy, there have been cases when the clergy arranged real surveillance of the flock, wanting to establish whether people adhere to restrictions in intimate life or not.
There are such priests today. After listening to the confession of the parishioners, they sharply condemn the "sinners", give instructions, attribute to the spouses a strict punishment in the form of abstinence. Thus, sometimes causing discord in families and even destroying them.
Such clergy ministers have repeatedly spoken about by the higher clergy during the councils. It pointed out to the priests that it was unacceptable to force or persuade the parishioners to chastity contrary to their wishes. And she recommended to be especially careful when talking about family life . But from time to time fanatics are ubiquitous.
Opinions of the priests
Of course, if you ask a strict priest: “Is it possible to have sex in fasting?” - then, most likely, he will answer in the negative. Just a reasonable church minister, unlike a fanatic, will not insist too much on this. His answer will be something like this: "Undesirable, but if your flesh is weak, then you can, but try to refrain as much as you can bear." People in this century are weak in their passions. The Holy Fathers will not impose very strict prohibitions on them, so that people do not turn away from the church and observe the canons as much as they can.
According to the priest of the Savvino-Storozhevsky monastery, it is
strictly forbidden to perform marital duties during
Lent . After all, Jesus calls these days to fight passions and bad habits, to get rid of sinful thoughts and deeds. If such behavior is difficult, then you should turn to confession and repentance, which give strength and strength. The main thing is to prevent relaxation and not give in to temptations, supporting yourself with prayer.
Archbishop Elijah, the Bishop of Novgorod, said that it was especially important to abstain during the Easter week, as well as Passion and Fedorov (the first). By the way, even the most tolerant clergymen recommend that spouses exclude sexual intimacy at least during Holy Week, if it is not possible to restrain themselves throughout the fast.
The verdict of doctors and psychologists
But what do people who are far from religion say about abstinence? What is the position of science in this matter? Healers of body and soul, that is, psychologists and doctors, naturally do not impose a ban on sex during fasting. But they see nothing harmful in abstinence, if it is not too long. In their opinion, there is even some benefit in this, because after a certain break, sexual sensations intensify and bring much more pleasure to the spouses.
How about others?
How many religions, so many opinions. Each has its own dogmas, prohibitions and restrictions. One of the most stringent is Islam. So, I must say that Muslims are not very categorical in this matter. Islam does not prohibit sex life during Ramadan (almost the same as for Orthodox fasting). But! The permit applies only to patients, nomads and people temporarily settled in a foreign land. They can have sex during fasting, and everyone else will have to wait.
Orthodox exceptions
But Orthodoxy - especially modern - is not such a beast. There are times when the couple met after a long separation, and their meeting fell just at the post. For example, a soldier came home for a week, or a sailor returned from a long voyage, and a month later he was back on the road. It would be cruel to demand abstinence from them and, according to the teachings of St. Paul, even sinful. Especially if there is a new parting ahead. In such cases, the Orthodox Church turns a blind eye to dogma and gives the green light to physical love.
The important point is reciprocity
It happens that in the family one of the spouses is churches, and the other does not. Or simply someone is stronger in spirit, and someone is weaker. And then, while the first fasts violently (including sexually), the second makes up for the deficit on the side. From the point of view of the Orthodox Church, this situation is even more sinful than carnal relations between spouses during the fast. And if you are not sure of your partner, doubt your fortress, it is better not to practice abstinence at all, but to go to "hunger" gradually: through conversations, prayers and confessions.
Personal confessor will answer
Is it possible or not to have sex during fasting? Certain conclusions will make this article. But in the world there is and cannot be anything unambiguous, categorical. A man must be flexible, listen to his soul ...
And each family is a purely individual case. And the circumstances are different. Therefore, the wisest apostle Paul said that abstinence should be by mutual consent of the spouses.
If the two together fail to come to a decision, the priest will help. Just do not turn to such an intimate question to an outsider priest. You can trust the confessor, who leads the family for a long time, knows about the problems and circumstances of the life of the spouses, and will be able to suggest a reasonable, correct answer for this particular case. Or rather, not even an answer, but advice. Who will preserve conjugal love, and deliver from sin.