Understanding other people, their feelings and emotions is an important prerequisite for effective communication and the ability to find a common language. Therefore, most would like to know how to read people, whether it is possible to unravel by facial expressions and gestures what a person thinks, and how to use this information in communication and cooperation. Such a mutual understanding of each other could significantly reduce the time spent searching for sincere interlocutors and eliminating unsuitable people in life.
Why do you need the ability to understand people
It could be said that it is not necessary to understand the people around you, you don’t need to learn to read them like books, because you can communicate without this knowledge. But modern society requires communicative qualities in almost any field of activity. Therefore, you need to increase your emotional intelligence, learn to understand other people and put this knowledge into practice.
The ability to read people, like open books, will help to build a dialogue easier and easier, to quickly come to a consensus, to achieve their goals. This is especially important in working with people, such a skill will be useful to every leader. When it is necessary to achieve a certain return from subordinates, you need to understand how to get it, making the least effort.
The basic rules of understanding the interlocutor
Before trying to read a person like a book, it is important to understand that we learn most of the information from the interlocutor from non-verbal signals, facial expressions, gestures. And when a person says one thing, and his body position and facial expression say differently, the interlocutor has a double understanding of the situation. And often non-verbal signals cause more confidence.
Another factor to remember in order to understand how to read a person, like a book, is an understanding of his needs and desires. In any conversation, some goal is pursued, each cooperation and communication leads to certain results. Understanding these goals and the desires of your interlocutor will make it possible to correctly interpret all his words and emotions.
No wonder they say: "People are like books, and we read them." Any gesture, a look, a sigh, a change in facial expressions can say much more than a said phrase or a voiced thought.
The meaning of facial expressions
Many would like to know how to learn to read people like a book, and the first understandable page in this “book” may be the ability to understand facial expressions. Moreover, it is not isolated of any one part of the face, but of the complex. Indeed, it often happens that the lips are smiling, and in the eyes of malice or hatred. The main points in understanding facial expressions can be called such moments:
- When a person is really happy, he smiles not only at the corners of his lips, his cheeks are also lifted, and the muscles around his eyes are activated.
- With a disgust or hostility experienced, the upper lip rises in a person, and the skin on the forehead in the area of the nose is wrinkled.
- If anger builds up in a person’s soul, his lips will be tightly pressed, and his eyebrows are drawn in the center of the nose.
- A sad or sad person drops the outer corners of the eyes, as well as the lips. The look becomes distracted.
- In a person who is afraid of something, his eyes involuntarily expand and his mouth opens. Horizontal folds appear on the forehead.
Remembering these simple signs, you can quickly figure out how to read people, and eventually succeed.
Related factors for understanding interlocutors
Trying to understand and “read” another person, it is important to consider his life circumstances, sphere of hobbies, marital status, health, mood and other important factors. For example, from friends you can often hear complaints about a lack of money. But when these words sound from an unemployed lonely person, sympathy for him and a desire to help more than from a hard worker who simply does not know how to distribute expenses.
It is important not only what circumstances have developed in the life of a particular person, but also how he relates to them. Understanding this will give a direct answer to the question of how to read people. Indeed, even one regards moneylessness with ease and confidence that he will cope, and the other falls into despair, seeking help and support from others. Therefore, to draw conclusions from facts alone is pointless; one must take into account various related factors in the life of the interlocutor.
Eyes - a mirror of the soul
A person’s eyes, like no other part of the body or face, can help to understand the interlocutor and find a common language with him. From the eyes you can understand the mood of a person, well-being, and even recognize when he is telling the truth, and when he is lying. Reading with friends and relatives is much easier than reading strangers. The eyes of a loved one are familiar and understandable, their reaction to certain words is remembered over time, and even reading thoughts by sight becomes possible.
To understand from the eyes of a stranger, you can remember several basic signs:
- If your eyes are wide open and shine, this most likely means the interest and dedication of the interlocutor.
- By how often a person looks away, being interested in the surroundings, one can conclude how much he is involved in the conversation.
- If the interlocutor looks away, most likely he does not want to talk or suggests fraud.
- A dull look and narrowed pupils indicate a negative attitude to the interlocutor or to the topic of conversation.
The eyes can say a lot, and the observant can understand much more than the lips say.
The ability to ask questions correctly
To understand how to read people and find a common language with them, it is important to be able to ask questions correctly. Sometimes what matters is not what to ask, but how to ask. After all, the same question can be asked in different ways.
To understand a person, you need to be interested in his opinion and attitude to the situation, and not just listen to a dry statement of facts. The following questions will help in this:
- Why did you do that?
- What did you feel at that moment?
- What are you going to do next?
- What help do you need?
In order for a person to open up and become clear, it is important to earn his trust. And this can be done only sincerely interested in the life and well-being of your interlocutor.