There are many women who have no men in their lives. And this is the reality, and it happens in life - the team is female, they are not suitable for acquaintances, all the acquaintances are married and busy. And if the picture before her eyes is really like that, then the woman, if she is a believer, begins to wonder: what is the list of sins behind her - why does God not give her a husband?
In fact
Of course, nothing to do with sins. All these are the thoughts of the woman herself. At the same time, other female representatives, who do not have the best data or anything else, do not experience any difficulties in finding a partner. They are easily acquainted everywhere, and the question of the main reasons why God does not give a husband is not before them. Why is this happening?
Unreadiness
There is such a feature in the female psyche as the need to refuse and look for flaws in men. And sometimes a woman’s head can understand that she wants to communicate with the opposite sex, but on an unconscious level, she will strive to do everything possible to avoid this. Asked about the reasons why God does not give a husband, she will arrange situations in such a way that if she comes across men, then they will be “not the ones”.
Why is this happening? Often, her heart is still immersed in a past situation when something did not happen the way she wanted. And there was an insult. Now, in every man, she will look for potential traits that will lead to the same outcome. After she has been treated badly, she may, wondering why God is not sending a good guy, subconsciously look for similar men. And reject those who do not fit the strict criteria. Despite the fact that the rejected just could make her a good couple.
Often people are afraid of loneliness very much. Their world revolves around the need for someone to belong, give care, feel love, receive attention. A large percentage of people jump from one relationship to another, so as not to remain alone for a long time. Many people tolerate something that absolutely cannot be tolerated, only out of fear of being left without a couple. Trying to escape from loneliness, people try to fall in love with anyone, the first ones they get.
In this case, we are not talking about any harmony - it is impossible to “plug” the loneliness with another person, it is impossible to fill the inner emptiness and anxiety due to someone else. There is no happiness, depending on the other, and in holding on to him as a saving straw. Such an approach dooms an eternally nervous life in which there is no place for love.
Is one really bad?
It must be borne in mind that sometimes a woman may want to be alone. She enjoys life, her work, communication. But usually the absence of a man in her life begins to strain the representatives of society, who suggest that something is wrong with her. If a person hears the same thing many times, he begins to believe in it.
It is important to remember that often people in a relationship are unhappy. In marriage, women are often worse and worse than one. This is easy to see if you look closely at others. Yes, even just flipping through posts on online forums where people anonymously tell their problems, asking for advice. Hiding in society the troubles of their relationship, trying to seem like a happy couple and family, here they reveal something that is not recognized by anyone. Indifference, the continuation of relations only for the sake of children with a spouse whom you have not loved for a long time - all this occurs much more often than it seems at first glance. And it turns out that there are practically no happy women in relationships. This is very rare - a happy relationship. But in society it is customary to play and pretend that everything is fine. That is why the illusion arises that everyone around is happy in pairs.
Practice shows that people are happy in a couple who do not need each other. And together they, while they want it. But they can be taken separately. Only by experiencing pleasure in solitude can one experience it in long relationships with people. Where there is a need for a person, there is no longer love, there is only selfishness.
Believe
When God does not give a husband, one must remember that a person sees around him what is in his head. If a woman believes that "all normal men are busy," she will not try to make an acquaintance - she will assign a free man to the "defective" one in advance. If you look for flaws in a person, then you will definitely find it. And this will again confirm the prevailing point of view.
If a woman is sure that one cannot be happy without a man nearby, then she will always mentally ask why the Lord is slow to give her husband, to think about how bad she is alone. And it will become more unhappy from this, look more and more depressed. This may push her to impose, which will provoke men to run away. And this will make her worse. It turns out a vicious circle.
Additional reasons
A girl who wonders why God does not give a husband and children should know that sometimes a woman does not notice men. There are many things in life that a person focuses on. And it’s worth using for your own good. It is worth counting men. Going out into the street, to calculate - how many were there? And in the store? There are a lot of men around. And the question why God does not give a husband (or wife) is equally often asked by men and women. This is worth remembering. If you pay attention to how many men are around for several days, the current perception will include the thought - "there are a lot of men, they are everywhere."
Christian look
As already mentioned, while women ask why God does not give a husband, more and more men are asking why God does not give a wife. It is important for these people to remember that spouses will not make up for all the emotional needs of the questioners. They will not give what the interrogator needs. This often leads to disappointment in relationships in the family. Only a person can give himself everything that he needs, as well as fill loneliness.
For this reason, in Christian traditions, the expression "soulmate" is considered incorrect. As if a person can be full-fledged only when connected to the “half”. But the truth is that a person needs to be built before marriage. For the family - “one flesh”, to be strong, happy, you need to bring something whole, good into it. It should be created from full-fledged and strong personalities.
About life choices
The question why God does not give a husband is often provoked by the opinion of society. It postulates that loneliness is shameful and bad. The image of a lonely woman is caricatured: she is threatened with gray everyday life, a lonely death from thirst without a glass of water, tears, an abundance of cats. But the fact that this is how most married women live is falling.
And if a woman can be a true master of her craft, an excellent doctor, but sleep in bed without a permanent man, then in the eyes of a society that is itself unhappy in its families, such a woman will be declared insolvent. But if the male doctor is alone, he will be left alone with this question.
Why is that?
It's all about the stereotypes that came from ancient times, when the creation of a couple was necessary in order to physically survive - to build a home, to escape from the cold and predators. Years passed, the situation changed, and old stereotypes remained. In them, female and male roles are clearly divided. And what is allowed among some is reproached by others. At the same time, the female psyche is less schizoid than that of men: women are tuned to meet their needs through someone, and men are less painful in finding connections with themselves. In addition, there is constant pressure with questions, suggestion. And in the end, an imposed need appears, and the woman asks why God does not give a husband.
In a normal person without injuries, thoughts of loneliness do not cause a desire to fall into despair, do not cause fear. There is no thought that, due to such a life choice, he will not be among the successful people.
Who is this happening to?
But this happens to someone who has no idea what to do if he stays with himself for a while. With those to whom he himself is incomprehensible, and he prefers not to look here at all. It is not a matter of self-esteem, but of self-sufficiency. Self-sufficiency is taken only from within, and not from the outside.
Who says loneliness is bad?
It must be remembered that not a single person who is happy and who is good in his life will not condemn and humiliate others. Those who are trying to humiliate a lonely woman, trying to baiting with questions, when she already finds someone, themselves suffer, and very much. Those who care about such a question about others should give a hug and a phone to a psychotherapist. It is important to consider that, having learned to live with himself, a person gains maturity, he moves forward, much further than himself, clutching at other people, like a straw.
At the same time, loneliness is not the limit of dreams, and this is normal. Most people still want to be paired up. This is a normal occurrence. But unhealthy people will randomly ask why God does not give a husband, strive to avoid the slightest chance of being without a partner, to be ashamed of it or to condemn those who live alone.
Loneliness is a resource
If your heart is empty, and there are a lot of suppressed experiences, you should turn around and plunge into the existing emptiness and loneliness. When you surrender to them, it becomes clear that everything is not so bad. It becomes clear how to fill the void. No need to run away from it - this is a blank sheet on which you can draw anything new, better than before.
Condemnation of society
It is important to build harmony in relationships with yourself in the first place. As soon as there is a desire in the style of “how nice it would be now to go to a restaurant with a man” - you need to bring yourself there. Enjoy the evening, arrange romance.
Sometimes it may seem that it is worth appearing somewhere in a similar place in solitude, everyone will start to think something bad, condemn. But this is an exaggeration. Let them think what they want. Everything that people say about another person is actually about themselves. It does not make sense to take it personally.
To ask
Single women sometimes have domestic issues in which men's help is useful. Something to convey, repair, take. Do not avoid asking for help if necessary. At relatives, husbands of friends, store employees. In order not to feel the feeling that I am now “obligated” and “I am struggling,” it makes sense to directly ask how to thank - with homemade cookies, with advice on some matter.
Conclusion
Thus, of course, everyone wants to be paired. But experiencing fear, awe and panic with a prospect of loneliness is abnormal. It is important to use loneliness for the good that does not cancel the desire to have a romance, family, children.