“My husband hates me ...” This phrase sounds very often from the lips of women whose family life has not developed as well as we would like. What to do? How to proceed?
Family problem
If people live together for some time, then this is not news that there is monotony in their life. At first glance, everything is fine and wonderful, but when you look more closely, you will immediately notice that those feelings and that passion are gone. They seemed to have remained somewhere in a past life.
To prevent this from happening, periodically it is necessary to arrange some kind of “shake-up”. As a result, the relationship will become, as before, and maybe even better.
In the same case, when none of the spouses does anything, then feelings gradually disappear, and indifference comes in their place. But do not confuse him with hatred.
Pay attention to any changes.
If this situation happened in the family, the woman perceives it much closer and more painfully. As soon as the wife notices some changes in her husband’s attitude, she most often continues to pretend that everything remains, as before, she is welcome and loved. And so it can go on for some time. But the husband is moving away more and more, and the wife just closes her eyes and, deceiving herself, plays a perfect marriage.
In no case should this be done. And all due to the fact that after a certain period this game is no longer called a happy family, but its parody. And when in this difficult period there is complete inaction, the humility of the wife will not only not bring her husband’s feelings back, but, on the contrary, will alienate him even more.
If you don’t look at everything in pink glasses, but pay attention to even minor changes in attitude, and at the same time analyze, you can not only save your family, but also strengthen it. Indeed, when the spouse moves away, and his other half is diligently trying not to notice this, it will not lead to anything good. At some point, it will be safe to say that the husband hates his wife.
Factors
There are several factors that signal that a relationship has cracked.
If at the beginning of a life together the spouses did everything together, the husband always listened to the opinion of his wife, then he begins to make decisions and fix problems, not that without consulting, but not even sharing this with her. This is the first sign that his opinion does not matter to him.
A woman should pay attention to whose interests for her husband come first. If he is, then she will eventually understand that she no longer has the reliability and support that were at the beginning of the relationship.
If nit-picking and reproach begin, followed by irritation and resentment, then this is a sign that you need to change something, otherwise soon hatred may appear in your relationship.
If the husband does not respect his wife, but does not directly speak, but simply constantly criticizes her as a woman, as a mother, and as a mistress, this should also be noted.
Particular importance can be given to such an environment when the couple, being together, do not have common topics for conversation. And there’s nothing to say about laughing heartily at the simplest joke.
Do not ignore those moments when the husband does not want to just touch his wife. If this factor is ignored at the beginning, then after a while, when the spouse shows the slightest affection, she will receive nothing else in return except hostility and irritation.
Also, it does not hurt to ask a question about why my beloved is not in a hurry to go home? It seems that everything has been done for his convenience, but he is still better after meeting more with friends than before he arrives.
The change in husband’s relationship with his wife is clearly noticeable when he begins to protect his personal space. At first, a woman looks at it through her fingers, always finding some kind of excuse, but rarely does anyone think about how things can end.
The absence of sex, despite plausible excuses, in the first place, should push a woman to change something, otherwise the result can be disastrous.
You can often hear from the lips of a woman: "My husband hates me and insults me, not thinking about how offensive I am." But few people think that, perhaps, by her actions she provokes a man to such an attitude.
The problem with the former spouse
Even if the marriage breaks up, in many cases men are left with not just an unpleasant aftertaste, but disgust. When the fair sex says: “My ex-husband hates me, and I don’t understand why, what have I done?”
There are many explanations in such situations. After all, every family and relationship is individual.
You can consider this option, when at first the family is in complete harmony and understanding, but some time passes, and the wife, not feeling guilty, and believing that she is right, is constantly dissatisfied with something, expresses not very pleasant things or commits unforgivable things . The husband takes it all calmly and without scandals, trying to find a logical justification for everything. But for a long time this cannot be. Inside, this negative accumulates and accumulates, but in the end, he does not look at his wife with that loving and adoring look, but full of hatred.
And even after the divorce, the wife believes that she is the innocent “victim” who tried so hard. But as a result, only streams of hatred come from the ex-husband.
Another woman
There are situations when a spouse for her husband does everything possible and impossible to make him feel comfortable and comfortable, but after a while he gets used to it and imagines that this is so everywhere and everywhere. He begins to change first secretly, and then already openly, and a certain moment comes when he leaves the family.
A woman who is so faithful and so caring, despite the moral pain he brought her, lets go with a pure soul and wishes him only happiness, but he knows very well that even if he asks for it back, there will be no way back.
The man who has lived with his new passion for a short period begins to come to understand what treasure he lost in the form of his ex-wife. But at the same time he believes that if he knocks back at the door, she will gladly accept him back.
But when a wife refuses this to her ex-spouse, he is first surprised at such a turn, and then begins to get angry at her. Since it can not mentally accept that fact.
The woman, for her part, cannot understand the aggression and hatred experienced by her former faithful. It seems she let go and didn’t want evil, she only refused to return ... And she wonders about the question: “Why does the ex-husband hate me?”
The answer in this situation is very simple. He does not hate his ex-wife, but himself, from the realization that not all and not always can she forgive, and human patience is not unlimited.
When a turning point comes in family life, and a woman feels her husband's dislike and hostility towards her, she immediately panics, wondering the same question about what to do next and what to do at the moment.
We analyze the situation
In order to choose further tactics of behavior and not make things worse, you first need to analyze what could have happened.
The first thing that comes to mind is that the beloved has another woman. But what does it have to do with it, if it seems that the husband hates his wife. When a man is not going to leave the family, he often changes his mistresses, but his half is not so easy to notice. Even if this happened, he has one answer - he wanted some kind of variety.
Perhaps the attitude has changed since the birth of the child, since, basically, the mother almost completely concentrates on the baby. The husband at this time feels a sense of indignation and resentment at the fact that he no longer receives so much attention. Then he begins to attract him with aggression.
Having well and clearly analyzed the situation, the woman must draw conclusions for herself and determine whether she wants to continue living with this person. Or the divorce will turn out to be the best option, after which it will not immediately, but gradually it will gain not only calmness and peace, but also self-confidence, which she lacked in family life.
But what about when a woman says that her husband hates me, but at the same time I love him and do not want to lose? You can try to somehow change the situation, with a little effort and patience.
If, for example, the spouse works, and she does not have as much time as she would like for the family, and this is the reason for the spouse’s discontent, although he himself has a good salary, it is preferable for him to stay at home and pay more attention to him than a career. Then, if you want to save the marriage, one way out is to give up work.
Always be on top!
Often married women make the same mistake - they stop monitoring themselves (either they didn’t have time to wash their hair, there was no time to go for a manicure), and this, in turn, repels the husband. Since he married an always groomed female. To prevent this from happening, one must always remember this and make sure that the spouse can not only admire, but also proudly demonstrate that this is his woman when someone else looks in her direction.
It is necessary to constantly develop spiritually and intellectually, so that for a husband to be always not only a beautiful picture, but also an interesting conversationalist.
It is necessary to try to make sure that the spouse spends his free time more often nearby, and at the same time he does not have a desire to go somewhere, for example, with friends for a beer.
You always need to find many reasons to praise your husband, tell him a gentle, affectionate word.
Very often in family life it happens that one of the partners does not know how to express his thoughts correctly. Then it’s very difficult for a couple to agree and explain among themselves. If such a flaw is present in a woman, then it is necessary to express his thoughts in a more constructive way so that the husband understands what is being discussed and what exactly the wife wants to say, and does not remain again in thought that once again something is unsaid.
Often, a resentful spouse turns to specialists and declares: "My husband hates me." Psychology is a subtle science. And experts in this field agreed that in such cases the most important thing is to objectively analyze family relationships and see future prospects for their continuation.
Mutual hatred
What if my husband and I hate each other? The problem here is not that the feelings have become a little dull or a habit has developed. From the very beginning of family life, the couple did not have the emotional closeness that is hidden behind love. And when the latter goes a little to the background, immediately there is a misunderstanding. In this case, even the most insignificant little things lead to the fact that between the spouses there is growing discontent and alienation, which accumulate more and more every day. As a result, all that united the couple disappears.
When a woman says to her friends and relatives: "My husband hates me," people give the most varied advice. Most believe that you should speak frankly with your loved one. But to do this very carefully so that he did not refuse to discuss his feelings, and the attempt itself did not turn into another scandal. To do this, you need to express yourself judiciously and calmly. It is advisable to achieve this (possibly unpleasant) conversation. Then the result will be clear, the spouse will finally understand if there is any other chance to save the family. Otherwise, you have to come to terms with reality.
Everyone should be happy!
If a girl says: "My husband hates me." What should she do? Now the time has come when the wife needs to remember that she is a woman and also has the right to personal happiness. Pointless conversations and wasted efforts, except for another disappointment and collapse of hopes, will bring nothing good.
It’s best to let your spouse go, rather than cling to him and hold him close. After all, the feeling that he needs his wife, and that she, as before, is welcome, will never return. And so, left alone, sooner or later a woman will find complete peace of mind, perhaps she will have a desire to build a new relationship.
A conspiracy to help make relations with your spouse better
What if the husband hates? The plot will help. It is this method of solving the problem that many women trust. For the ceremony, you will need your own engagement ring and a long birch bend. What to do next? A luchina is inserted into the ring so that both sides have the same distance. Then the edges are scorched, and a plot is read on the smoke, the words of which are:
"Do not burn, fire, do not fall
My engagement rings
The rings of my wedding.
They fell, and burn, and pain
The heart of a servant of God (name),
His white chest, his lungs and liver
So that he cannot live and breathe
Not a day, not a minute without me
His wife, the slaves of God (name).
He wants to drive me away
So he wants to hug me.
Burn, scatter, go smoke.
Sending longing to my friend
Do not remove it, do not lime.
As said, that’s done.
I close it with a lock, close it with a key.
Be my words, forever
Not taken off, not cursed, not wrinkled,
Not slaughtered or sewn.
Key, lock, tongue.
Amen. Amen. Amen".
It is necessary to extinguish a fire only when a torch on both sides dies to the very ring. After that, the remaining cinder must be put in the pocket of the husband. It is necessary to ensure that it does not disappear. If this happens, then repeat the rite again.
Another plot
In addition to the rite described above, when the husband hates his wife, what else can you do? To create the appearance that a woman listens very carefully to her husband, while she looks him directly in the eye, and in her mind says:
"Like me, servant of God (name),
I don’t want and cannot live without arms and legs,
So you do not live without me (name).
From now on and over the eyelid. Amen".
Go to church
When the husband said he hates, his wife may need to pray in order not to succumb to a depressed state. So that the Lord gave her strength and patience to go through all this and not do any nonsense.
Sometimes some lovers do everything so that the husband hates his wife. They can weave intrigues, wind up a man. As a result, he really has such feelings for his legal wife.
There are women who do not believe in all kinds of magical conspiracies and rituals. What do they do? After the husband began to hate, it is best to go to church and confess. Perhaps the priest will help restore faith in life and in yourself. It will lead to the fact that life is priceless, but short and you need to enjoy it, enjoy every day, and those family troubles are a test from God that he sent, knowing that a person will cope with it.
Let go
If a woman says: “My husband hates me, living with him every day is harder and harder,” then perhaps the best way out of the situation is to let him go. Indeed, in the end, two people will not be tormented by themselves, and they will not make anyone suffer near themselves.
If a woman complains about life and says: “My husband hates me, family relationships are going nowhere, what should I do next? ...” We must not forget that there is no concrete answer to this question. And the decision to save the family, or, on the contrary, should not even try, should be taken by the spouses themselves.
No wonder there is such a proverb “From love to hate, one step” and vice versa. The probability that, trying to save the marriage, the spouse will be able to interest her lover, as at the beginning of the relationship, and maybe more, is very high. Then the married life will continue as a permanent honeymoon.
Conclusion
Now you know what to do to a woman who feels the estrangement of her husband. There are many options for solving this problem. You need to choose the most optimal for yourself. Remember that a woman should always be loved!