Various quarrels and unspoken grievances seriously spoil our mood and relationships with others. How to avoid conflicts, can this be learned? Constantly radiating positive is not so simple, because at every step we are in wait for unpleasant surprises and attacks of other people. But dealing with all this negativity is simply vital.
Why is it so important to stop swearing?
The main reason you should think about how to avoid conflicts is your own mental health. Remember the last quarrel in which you participated. Dissatisfied skeptical remarks quickly turn into real screams. But you and your opponent have already split up, and you are still shaking for a good half an hour. It is impossible to concentrate on anything, and all that remains is to scroll through the head all the insults received and think which ones are deserved. But really, if someone around you will constantly treat you scornfully, over time, self-esteem can significantly decrease. Have you ever seen husbands who have been sawed by their wives or work colleagues for years, hesitant to undertake serious projects, because the boss constantly says that it’s too tough for them? Of course, a bad world is better than a colorful war. It is always useful to have polite neutrality or friendly relations with all your friends than to make enemies. And this is the second reason why it is better not to bring the situation to an open confrontation.
Learning to understand and respect
A universal advice on how to avoid conflicts is to learn to respect everyone around you. It doesn’t matter who is in front of you: a homeless person trying to beg for alms or the head of a large company. Each of them is a person, and if you had to speak, maintain a friendly tone of communication. Often conflicts occur due to misunderstanding. Listen carefully to your opponent, do not interrupt, ask additional and clarifying questions. If you think that the interlocutor is wrong, or says some kind of nonsense, briefly retell everything that you understood from what you heard, ask again if he wanted to say this. Never take information critical, remember that everyone has the right to their own opinion.
Never start to conflict first
Think about how often you provoke conflicts? In order to start a quarrel, sometimes one careless word is enough. If you openly provoke, inciting the interlocutor with statements that offend him personally or the beliefs that he has, it is time to seriously think about your behavior. Perhaps you need a personal reminder "How to Avoid Conflict." Remember that it is always easier to smooth the situation, quarrels are not useful, you need to be able to achieve your goals through peace.
Think positive, wish good
Never accumulate evil within yourself. A popular advice from psychologists on how to avoid conflict at work or at home is to simply keep silent. In practice, it really works often. But even if a quarrel does not happen, resentment will remain in your soul for a long time. Did you know that many people suffering from serious diseases of the cardiovascular and nervous systems prefer to remain silent until the very end? All claims against others should be expressed, but at the right time and in a friendly manner. This is the key to a happy family life. If your homework rarely helps you, do not make a scandal, just tell them of their mistakes and ask for help. In a similar way, one can find a way out of many situations leading to conflict.
Do not dissolve gossip and criticize consciously
Such is the essence of human nature, that in the absence of mutual acquaintances, we love to talk about them. Not only women, but also men are inclined to “washing the bones”. This habit should be discarded. If you blame someone, say it in person's face. To climb into personal life, if you have not been initiated, is at least uncivilized. It is unkind to speak behind those with whom you personally communicate well - this is a real meanness. It is better to refrain from categorical comments addressed to third parties at all. If the situation requires your comment, try to gently, but definitely tell a person everything in person, as it is. Is it possible to avoid conflict if you want to express criticism, but do not have firm arguments? Yes, of course. It is enough to emphasize that all your words are your personal opinion, and it is up to the opponent to decide whether or not to listen to him.
Argue or not?
Some people are born arguers, they like to prove their opinions to the last. In this case, the result is not important, but the process itself. How to avoid conflict with friends or relatives from scratch? Learn to respect other people's interests. Suppose your wife loves sugar-free green tea, and you prefer sugary coffee with cream. Will you swear because of this? Rather, everyone will brew a cup of their invigorating drink and enjoy it with pleasure. So why stoop to mutual insults and screams due to musical addictions, politics or religion? It is most useful to note in advance for yourself a list of topics that it is better not to speak with a specific person.
Agree and ... do it your way!
A common cause of conflict at work is instruction and instruction. The most difficult thing is to resolve the situation when you are sure that you are doing everything right, and the less competent person offers a different algorithm of actions. If you try to defend the truth, conflict cannot be avoided. This is the situation when it is important for the attacking side to emphasize their authority. If the boss "teaches" you to work correctly, but despite the fact that the results are satisfactory even today, you should not try to point out the errors of his judgment. A rare boss admits that he does not have enough knowledge and really came up with complete nonsense. Listen carefully, agree, promise to fulfill. Wait for a convenient moment and continue to work in the familiar algorithm. This advice on the eternal theme of “Avoiding Conflict” will help at home. Put on your hat before going out in May so as not to upset your retired parents. Or promise your wife not to drive at speeds above 80 km / h. As soon as you turn around the corner of the building, the headgear can be removed, and how to drive a car is your own business. But everyone was satisfied with each other, and the mood at the height of each potential participant in a quarrel.
If the scandal began ...
A whole branch of psychology is busy developing a universal formula for avoiding conflicts. Rules do not always work. And if you are still dragged into a showdown, your task is to end the quarrel as quickly as possible. Focus on the problem and try to find a compromise. The most important thing is to find out and understand what the other side wants. Never turn to insults and do not recall the past, it is advisable to also abandon generalizing formulations. This is the main secret, how to avoid conflicts in the family - never say "you always say ..." or "you always do ...". Such criticism is dangerous, the addressee perceives phrases of this type as the most severe criticism. Summarizing, you make it clear that you are always dissatisfied with the behavior of your interlocutor and perceive him as a person unworthy.
Good mood - rescue from scandals
If you don’t know how to avoid conflicts, learn how to stay calm in any situation. Do not raise your voice and keep a friendly intonation. It is also helpful to keep a calm smile on your face. When they criticize you, listen carefully and sincerely thank you. If you are dealing with someone above you (your boss or parents), emphasize the authority of the speaker. Recognize that without his instructions and advice they would never have thought of it on their own. You will say: "But why obey parents in adulthood, if it took all childhood?" In fact, everyone knows how to avoid conflicts in the family . Appreciate your closest relatives, insignificant concessions to prevent a quarrel on your part - this is nothing compared to the well-being in the house and the warm atmosphere.
The tricks of life without scandals
It is always very difficult to please everyone. It is one thing to keep silent during a quarrel and dress once a month as your mother wants. But it’s quite another thing - to devote life to an unloved profession or to give up one’s own desires. When you are going to give someone something, try to assess how much this act will harm your life? To be able to defend one’s interests is also a whole art. In some situations, it is better to survive the quarrel, but continue on your way to the existing landmark. Is there a universal way to avoid conflicts with your parents if they wanted a completely different life for you? Of course, it’s worth trying to explain your position and come to an understanding. But if conversations fail, you should leave this topic for a while. After all, we all know that it is the quarrels with the closest people that are the most vivid and strong, but reconciliation usually happens very quickly.
To summarize
Now you know how to avoid conflict at work or at home. It is enough to stop taking to the heart the opinions of others and criticism addressed to you. It is necessary to treat everyone around with understanding, and not to dislike anyone. Learn to forgive people and cross out from your life unworthy without regret. In some situations, it’s easier to give in than to assert your case. If you are confident in yourself and your knowledge, do as you see fit. Do not forget to listen to your opponent. Only by understanding his point of view, you can find a compromise or stop the quarrel in another way.
Some conflicts have serious consequences. After a quarrel, you may lose your job. Or your friend will not wish to communicate with you further. Even if the conflict ended with a formal reconciliation of the parties, it will take some time to restore the old relationship. Assess the consequences of a quarrel so that it doesn’t happen; you should not perceive what happened as an apocalypse. If during a quarrel you behaved unworthily or undeservedly offended the interlocutor, it’s worth apologizing. The first time after the conflict has occurred, it is better to communicate to a minimum; But after a couple of days, you can proceed to conciliatory steps. Just try to talk with someone you recently quarreled with, please something with that person. If you are in conflict at work, you should try to fulfill your duties at the highest level and not give new reasons for criticism and censure.