A large number of families sometimes encounter such problems, which, as it seems, can be solved exclusively through divorce. Do not rush! In order for harmony and peace to reign in the family, it is extremely important for everyone to know how to improve relations with a husband or wife. Of course, you should go to a good psychologist. We hope our tips will help you.
Where to begin?
For some reason, people are accustomed to believing that relationships are developing on their own, without any interference. But we must not forget that nothing in the world happens just like that, and even more so it develops extremely successfully. In order for the relationship to bring joy, you will have to work hard on creating it, and then you need to maintain it. But what if the relationship with her husband is on the verge? How to improve family life? The answer is given by psychologists: in the first place, it is important to understand what exactly led you to discord. Often, spouses who love each other conflict because they are not happy with something in each other.
If the situation is not running to the extreme, you can try to implement the following recommendations:
- You can establish relations with your husband simply by saying nice words to him. This works especially well if you praise your spouse in public. Moreover, you don’t just need to flatter your beloved, you need to say compliments in that area of life, which is of particular importance to him.
- The best cure for stress is humor. Try to find some things and situations that you can laugh with your spouse. With humor it is necessary to relate to all problems.
- In an attempt to improve relations with her husband, one should not refuse to spend time together. Try to get out together somewhere more often.
- Make a list of the partner qualities that you like. Try to focus on them. This will help return the very beginning of your relationship.
- Tradition will also help save the family union. They can be invented together or simply agreed with her husband. It is important that these rituals become regular. This will help to spend more time together.
Psychologists say: just follow a few recommendations from this list, and the changes will not take long! But how to improve relations with her husband, if the situation is critical? Let's consider each case in more detail!
If the husband does not want to build relationships
There was a serious conflict, the result of which was the unwillingness of your other half to put up and make contact? Despair gives up? First of all, do not be discouraged! Do not try to put pressure on your husband, do not demand explanations from him, and in no case do not throw tantrums! Psychologists recommend recalling the words of King Solomon, who said that everything goes through. Yes, yes, it will pass. Just give your husband the opportunity to be alone with his doubts and thoughts. Let him calmly think over the current situation and try to find a way out of it. Even if the spouse does not want to talk with you, do not insist on communication. Keep calm: after a while he will speak himself. In addition, he will be incredibly grateful that you did not scandal.
After the quarrel in which the husband is to blame
Here again, you have to remember the old wisdom: either right or happy. Psychologists say that you should not blame your spouse, point out errors to him and even more so arrange a tantrum. This certainly will not lead to an improvement in relations, rather, it will simply worsen them even more. Try to talk with your husband: explain to him what exactly was so unpleasant for you, tell how you should behave in this situation. It is important to speak respectfully.
During pregnancy
How difficult it is to remain a woman - loving, understanding, beautiful and caring - during pregnancy. Often, being in an interesting position, the wives turn into evil furies, who can send their soulmate on a cold winter night for oranges without remorse. How to establish family relations with my husband, full of warmth and tenderness? You can buy oranges yourself - during a day's walk in the fresh air. This, by the way, is useful for the future baby! Do not forget to talk with your spouse on a variety of topics, and not just about analyzes, vests and diapers!
After the birth of crumbs
It also happens that after the birth of a child, a woman does not pay attention to her husband at all. Her whole world is limited only to the baby. Remember: men suffer very much from a lack of attention. How to establish contact with a loved one in such a situation? Be sure to involve your spouse in caring for the crumbs, be sure to emphasize the importance of his support for you. Do not forget about the intimate sphere.
Is divorce inevitable?
What will help to establish relations with my husband? Prayers and conspiracies, of course, do occur. But it’s much more important to listen to the opinion of psychologists and try to change your behavior. Even being on the verge of a divorce, you can try to change the situation by changing your attitude towards it. Stop provoking conflicts, try to do something pleasant and unexpected. For example, invite your husband to a movie, recreate the atmosphere of a first date. You can even just bring coffee to bed in the morning. Any little thing can change everything for the better.
On distance
What if the relationship goes bad and your loved one is far from you? First of all, remember that the main thing in this situation is trust. And do not invent for yourself what is not. Most often, if a man does not answer the phone or disconnects the phone, he has completely objective reasons for this.
If the husband drinks alcohol
Psychologists advise honestly answering yourself: did your other half always drink, but you did not notice this, or did it start not so long ago? In the first case, you should consider whether you need such a relationship. In the second - try to find the cause and help your loved one eliminate it. The impetus for drinking alcohol can be problems in relationships with friends or colleagues, difficulties at work, a financial crisis. Do not reproach your spouse, talk with him and help.
After your betrayal
If you cheated on your husband, but want to maintain a relationship with him, stop blaming yourself. It is very difficult to decide whether to admit or not. It’s not easy to answer unequivocally. Psychologists say that it all depends on the situation: sometimes you should keep a secret throughout your life, and sometimes it is better to admit (especially if it is likely that the spouse can learn about the betrayal). If you decide to be honest with your husband, do not forget to apologize. If a partner forgives you and agrees to start from scratch, let him know that you will not tolerate reminders of treason.
After the betrayal of her husband
How to improve relations with a spouse after he has changed? The question is not simple. Psychologists cannot give a definite answer. It is clear that if you decide to forgive your loved one, you will have a hard time. To begin with, you will need to stop considering your husband a dog or some other animal. It is also crucial to talk. Of course, it will not work to get an intelligible answer to the question “why”, and therefore it is better not to ask it. What then to talk about? About your relationship. About how you see their further development, about what exactly you are going to do, and about what you expect from a partner. It is oddly enough to establish relations after the betrayal of her husband, only with the help of patience and conversation in calm tones. That is what will help him treat you with respect. The chances of rebuilding the family increase significantly if one (extremely important!) Nuance is observed: if you decide to live with this person further, do not blame him in the past, do not remind you of betrayal, and especially do not express groundless suspicions.
After divorce
What to do if it was not possible to establish relations after the betrayal with her husband, and a second stamp appeared on the passport - about divorce? Experienced psychologists have long known: very often after a divorce, both spouses receive an internal feeling of freedom, which was so lacking in marriage. The result is a restoration of relations. How to achieve this result? The best option is to talk. To express expectations, to thank the ex-husband for everything that was, to say that you will make any decision. And after that - just wait. Give the man time to think and recover.
Unfortunately, very often a relationship after a divorce resembles a nightmare. Former spouses have to recover for a long time after a painful break. The situation is complicated by the presence of children in the family. In this case, a normal relationship cannot be dispensed with, since you cannot injure an unstable child psyche. How to establish a relationship with her husband after a divorce? There are several rules:
- Always control yourself. Learn to restrain all your negative emotions. Remember that your children can see you, in whose eyes you still remain the most native people. Thoughts that once you loved this person and accepted all his shortcomings can help to observe this rule.
- Do not interfere in the personal life of the ex-husband! You are no longer a couple, everyone is free to do as he sees fit. Do not find out how and with whom your ex lives. The best way to build relationships with your ex-husband is through formal communication without personalization.
Psychologists say: even if your relationship ended in divorce, do not think that your ex-husband ruined your life and took away your best years. Remember that you have many good memories left, and most importantly - children who brought so much happiness!
Husband's children from their first marriage
Speaking of children! What if your spouse had a family? How to build relationships with her husband’s children ? It is important to understand that a man who maintains good relations with his children is a responsible and decent person. How to become a friend for the children of the spouse? First, let your husband be alone with the child. Otherwise, the baby may become isolated and take offense at dad, who pays attention not to him, but to an unknown woman. Send them to the zoo, for a walk, in a cafe.
In no case do not try to bribe a child, presenting him with expensive gifts and rolling lush celebrations. Children are very sensitive creatures, and therefore they recognize any hypocrisy and deceit very quickly. Be sure to talk to your husband - it is he who knows what the child loves, what he is interested in. Explain to your spouse that it is important for you to have a good relationship with someone who is so dear and important to him. If your loved one understands that his child can become part of your family, he will help to build relationships, act as a “bridge” between the child and you.
Another important point - try at least from time to time to be alone with the child. Talk to him about his interests, do common things. You can ask him for help, which will be within his power.
Marital life and the laws of physics
It would seem, where does the physics? It's simple, psychologists say. The fact is that everything in the world is subject to several laws. The main one can safely be called the law of attraction.
Each person receives what he most often thinks about. And therefore, if you think exclusively about quarrels and conflicts, this is what you will attract into your life. Therefore, try to focus on the positive aspects of family relationships - and they will become better!