In the psychology of communication, it is important for a person to realize his own significance - when they are interested in him, listen carefully, want to understand. The interaction of people in society is based on politeness and the basics of etiquette.
One of the new areas of communication skills is active listening technology. Its essence lies in the benevolent attitude towards the interlocutor, the desire to understand him. Interest is the key to active listening. Knowledge of technology will help to gain the trust of the interlocutor, to receive detailed information from him.
In communication with children active listening will help to better understand the fears and experiences of the child. He will learn to overcome his problems on his own. Parents and children will become more attentive, more tolerant of each other. This will create harmonious relationships in the family.
Listening skills
During communication, it is important not only to expressively, competently speak, but also to be able to listen to the interlocutor. For mutual understanding with your counterpart, this is of great importance. To be able to listen means to perceive the flow of information from the narrator. The level of human culture will allow you to politely listen to the interlocutor, tactfully refrain from harsh statements, dismissive facial expressions.
The ability to listen depends on the type of personality, intelligence, communication culture, age, gender. Scientists have proven that women are emotional during the hearing, inattentive, often interrupt the interlocutor with their own stories. Men are able to listen to the information to the end, mentally looking for ways to solve it.
Many professions are related to listening skills. These are sellers, hairdressers, masseurs, psychologists, doctors, teachers, administrators, consultants. For business communication , the effectiveness and culture of listening is important. There are special techniques that contribute to the perception of information. Receive an active hearing help support the interlocutor, show the significance of his story.
Types of Hearing
Psychologists and communication researchers distinguish 4 types of listening.
Empathic listening . This is the ability to read the feelings, emotions of the speaker. The ability to imagine yourself in the place of the interlocutor, to empathize with him. Empathic listening is effective if vis-a-vis or his information evokes positive emotions.
Critical hearing . This is a focused analysis of the information received. Her critical perception, understanding. Such a hearing is effective for making responsible decisions. It allows you to weigh the pros and cons, agree or disagree with the interlocutor.
Passive (non-reflexive) listening . This type is used when the interlocutor needs to talk. It implies minimal interference with the vis-a-vis monologue.
Active (reflective) listening. This is the maximum establishment of feedback from the interlocutor. Active listening helps win over the person you are talking to. Allows you to influence his point of view. Receive an active hearing testifies to elementary politeness, attention to the words of the interlocutor.
What is active listening?
Active listening is the semantic perception of information. This communicative ability allows you to concentrate on the conversation, clarify details, ask again. With this technology, the interlocutor feels the need for his information, the interest of others around it.
The ability to conduct a conversation, to perceive and understand the words of the speaker is possible only with a friendly attitude. Active listening, technique and techniques It is promoted by the development of trusting relations between the interlocutors. This is a professional skill and a whole art that can take years to master.
Inability to establish a dialogue, alienation of people make active listening technology in demand. This process consists of several stages.
Key Stages of Active Listening
- Sincere interest in a person, a desire to help him.
- Attention to the emotional state of the interlocutor.
- The ability to temporarily drop critical judgment, try to take the place of the speaker.
- To create a favorable environment for the interlocutor, encouraging him to independently search for a solution to the situation.
Hindrance to active listening
During the hearing, a person encounters certain difficulties that interfere with the perception of information.
Internal hindrances are own thoughts, experiences. They interfere with perception, forcing to concentrate on one thought or a whole complex of thoughts. A dreamy or drowsy state also prevents active listening.
External disturbances are irritants that distract from conversation. This may be the inability of the interlocutor to convey information (incoherence and slurred speech, its pace and volume), strangers or distracting noises (phone, repair work, sounds of transport).
Active listening. His types and techniques
The technique of active listening is conditionally divided into 2 types: male and female.
The male form of active listening is more about business communication skills. The correct presentation of information, its understanding and analysis is important here. Therefore, in an active listening to the male species, clarifying questions most often sound: “where”, “how much”, “when”, “for what”, “how”.
The female form of active listening is focused on feelings and emotions. Here the accuracy of the information is not so important as the attitude to it or the person you are talking to. This allows you to take the place of a vis-a-vis, to feel his mood, experiences.
During communication, you should pay attention to the words of the interlocutor, try to understand him. This will allow you to choose the appropriate methods of active listening. These include encouragement, repetition, reflection, generalization . They will help to better understand the narrator, will contribute to the sympathy between the interlocutors.
Active Listening Techniques
The main methods of active listening are the desire to grasp the essence of the interlocutor’s speech and, if possible, help him. Mastering these methods is achieved with constant training. TO methods of active listening include:
- encouragement. It consists in interest, the expressed desire to listen to the interlocutor. At this stage, goodwill and the lack of evaluative opinions are important;
- repetition. It consists in clarifying questions, repeating the phrases of the speaker. Verbal concentration on the main points of the conversation;
- reflection. It consists in understanding the emotions of the interlocutor. At this stage, you can copy in moderate doses the facial expressions or gestures of the interlocutor, thereby expressing interest and complete understanding;
- generalization. It consists in summing up the interlocutor's speech. This is a concentration on the main idea of everything said and a compromise.
Active Listening Examples
With regular use, it’s easy to remember the basic techniques of active listening. Examples for training are encouraging and clarifying questions, sympathetic assent and nodding.
The encouragement of the interlocutor allows you to tune in to the conversation. Non-verbal methods can be used here (smile, nodding, friendly look). In addition to them - verbal. These are the words "Yeah," "please continue," "I am listening to you carefully," "how interesting."
Repetition is best formulated as a question. Then it will be easier for the interlocutor to point out the error and voice their version of the phrase. These are the questions “do I understand you correctly?”, “Did you mean to say this?”, “In other words ...”.
Reflection is the ability to understand what is difficult to convey in words. The subtext can be read in facial expressions, voice modulation, increased or decreased intonation. These are the words "you are alarmed", "you feel that ...", "it seems to you that ...".
The generalization or resolution of a problem during a conversation slips several times. An experienced interlocutor will definitely summarize, thereby making it clear that he was carefully listening to the narrator and understood his main idea. These words are "it seems, I understand what you wanted to say ...", "it seems that the most important thing is here ...", "if I understand correctly, you experienced ...", "in general, you decided that ...".
Active Listening Questions
During the conversation, you should not be distracted, but you should try to understand the essence of the interlocutor’s speech. Find out what he wants to say and why. Clarifying questions must be asked in a timely manner. They will help to quickly understand the interlocutor.
Open-ended questions require a detailed answer. The more they will be, the more voluminous the information will become. These are the questions “how”, “how”, “how much”, “why”, “why”.
Closed questions require a short, unambiguous answer of yes or no. They should not be abused - they create an atmosphere of interrogation. They are best used at the end of the conversation to find out the state of the interlocutor. Did you manage to come to an agreement with him, come to a single decision.
Alternative questions consist of two parts. The first part is an open question. The second part - two or more possible answers. The interlocutor is given the opportunity to choose the desired option.
Errors in the application of technology
Active Listening Techniques in Psychology contribute to the full building of relations in society. Therefore, obvious communication errors should be avoided.
- Distraction from conversation, reaction to external stimuli, own thoughts.
- Inventing answers or arguments contributes to the loss of the essence of the conversation.
- Instructions, criticism and moralization ("I told you ...") will only prompt the interlocutor to stop talking.
- “Parrot” phrases or copying the speaker’s words create the illusion of understanding. A shrewd person will guess that they are not listening.
- You can not interrupt, end the phrase for the interlocutor. It’s better to let him arrange the idea on his own.
- Reduce the conversation to meaningless polemic.
- Concentrate on yourself, translating all the words of the interlocutor into your situations ("but I had it like that ...").
Active listening in communication with the child
In childhood, it is important to know that parents understand the experiences of the child. It is sometimes difficult for him to put into words all that he feels. Attentive parents should help the child correctly explain their condition, clearly tell about the event.
Techniques for active listening to children - this helps in voicing feelings and emotions. Parents should not only understand the child, but also learn to empathize with him, support him. This will bring together and strengthen family relationships. Teaches the child not to be afraid of negative feelings, to cope with them. Will lead to a mutually active hearing: the parents - the child, the child - the parents.
Father and mother should learn the types of hearing. Active Listening Techniques consist in their demonstration. It is necessary to show the baby that they want to listen and help him.
- In conversation with the child should be at the same level with him, eye to eye. Set aside all things, do not talk to him from different rooms. Show the importance of dialogue with a friendly look.
- Try to combine the meaning of the words of the child with his feelings. This will help to understand the situation. Prefer the affirmative form (not a question) in the description of the internal state of the child. "You were upset because ...", "you are angry because ...".
- Pause so that the child can gather his thoughts and continue the dialogue.
- Repeat in your own words the main idea of the child. So it will become clear to him that his parents heard and understood him.
- Do not leave the child alone with his fears, problems, worries.
Recommendations for the Bad Listener
It also happens that the interlocutor should be disposed of as soon as possible. The reasons can be different: from unwillingness to communicate with a specific person to unwillingness to listen to long monologues. Based on the techniques of active listening, you can create an alternative technology. With its help, the interlocutor will feel reluctance to communicate with him. What concepts do not apply to active listening techniques?
- Silence, lack of emotional reaction to words, ignoring the interlocutor.
- Constant answers by question to question.
- Neglectful posture, facial expressions.
- Interruption of the interlocutor, the transition to their personal topics.
- During the conversation distracted by phone calls, do other things.
- To sharply criticize the interlocutor, immediately pointing out his mistakes and miscalculations.
Such an alternative technique should not be used constantly. People need communication and empathy. Only in rare exceptions should we recall which concepts do not apply to methods of active listening. It’s best to politely explain that your vis-a-vis has chosen the wrong time for the conversation. Try to avoid annoying interlocutors, giving preference to positive people.
Recommendations for a good listener
Basic techniques for active listening contribute to benevolent interpersonal communication. With their help, the interlocutor will feel the attention to his words, experiences. Knowing the techniques and the ability to use them will create a sense of self-worth in the counterpart, which will help to quickly reach a consensus.
- Do not interrupt, interrupt a person. This method of active listening will bring the main idea to the end.
- After the question, you must wait for the answer of the interlocutor, do not answer for him.
- Maintain visual contact, turn to the speaking person.
- Establish feedback, ask questions, nod.
- Do not immediately refute the information heard. First, to understand the essence of the conversation, to understand the motives of the interlocutor.
- Do not succumb to the aggression of the speaker. Patience and calmness try to level it.