From the first days of dating, the girl begins to perceive her potential partner as a possible future husband. She thinks about how he will propose to her and how they will spend their lives together. However, very often it happens that the relationship lasts for several years, and the partner still does not plan to legitimize them. A man can talk about his feelings, confess his love and eternal fidelity, but at the same time, for some reason, he does not want to go down the aisle.
Of course, not every girl wants to ask him directly. However, it is very difficult to independently understand why the partners have been living together for a long time, and the guy does not make an offer. The situation is complicated by pregnancy and other factors. At such moments, the woman is in a very difficult position. She does not understand why, even with the most serious proof of the love of partners, the man still tries to get away from talking about the wedding.
On an intuitive level, understanding why a guy is not making an offer is impossible. And I do not want to talk heart to heart. What to do in this situation? It is best to consider all possible options and try to understand the true reasons for avoiding marriage by the chosen one. Psychologists identify several main reasons why men really fear marriage. Because of them, most often male representatives prefer to abandon the legalization of relations.
Fear
Some guys really want to legalize their relationship and love their soul mate so much that they dream of spending their whole lives with her. However, unlike the fair sex, each guy takes this issue more seriously and believes that this is a step that involves many problems. While a woman dreams about what a happy and rosy life awaits her with her beloved man, millions of doubts begin to overcome the guy. It becomes especially scary for those whose girls are in position. If the beloved is pregnant and the guy does not make an offer, then you need to understand that numerous thoughts are swarming in his head on how to raise a child and give happiness to his soulmate. Many are not ready for such a step and prefer to just part with the girl, which later some men bitterly regret.
In addition, the man is afraid that after marriage the woman will not be transformed for the better and will begin to limit him in every possible way, behave inappropriately, reminding more of her mother than her beloved. Many believe that after a guy makes an offer of marriage, he will forever turn into a silent slave, who should indulge his beloved in everything. Hence the fears that a man may simply not cope with such a family life.
Many men fear that after legitimizing relations, numerous questions may arise regarding cleaning the apartment, making money, etc., the solution of which leads to quarrels, misunderstandings, and insults.
I do not want to be obliged
When the relationship is at the stage of romantic dates and men return home alone in the evenings, they feel free. However, many of them understand that after marriage the situation will change and many different household obligations will appear.
Of course, at first the woman will try to take full responsibility and perform basic household chores. Over time, her irritation will increase, and she will begin to demand help from a man. This very often explains the fact why the guy does not make an offer. After marriage, he automatically becomes obligated to provide his wife with a happy life and help in everything she does. Of course, there are many families where representatives of the stronger sex refuse these duties and feel quite happy. However, deep down, everyone understands that marriage is a union of two people who must fully surrender to their marriage.
No stability
This is another common reason why a guy does not want to make an offer. Any man understands that marriage is not only a moral obligation, but also a financial one. The next step after the wedding is the purchase of a joint apartment, its arrangement and preparation for the birth of a child. All this requires a certain material foundation, which is possibly absent in a man.
The representative of the stronger sex, perhaps, is simply afraid of the condemnation of others and that he will not live up to the expectations of his beloved. While the guy is in the groom's stage, he is not obliged to provide for his girlfriend and think about how and what his family will live on.
Therefore, some members of the stronger sex prefer to first build a career and accumulate the right amount of money, and only then lead your lover down the aisle.
Did not walk up
This often happens when relationships begin to develop in a fairly early youthful period. At first it seems to the man that he loves his girlfriend more than anything and is not ready to exchange her for anyone else. However, over the years, he begins to think that there are still a huge number of women, but after marriage, he automatically “cuts off his oxygen” and will no longer be able to appreciate the delights of a free life.
The decision to make an offer to a guy is given him more and more difficult. Perhaps he will never go to treason, but the very idea that he may not have fully enjoyed his wild life is very tormenting for many men.
Eternal bachelor
If a guy does not make an offer for a long time, then perhaps he belongs to this category of men. Such representatives of the stronger sex are so concentrated on their life and comfort that they are not ready to make at least minimal changes to it.
These guys are used to making decisions on their own, without consulting with anyone, to live in the conditions in which they are used, and in the mode that they like best. The bachelor does not want to change his taste preferences or hobbies. If after work he is used to come and watch movies, then it becomes a real disaster for him that he will have to abandon his routine.
Such young people do not need family relationships. However, if a guy does not make an offer and frankly admits that he does not need a wife, but just a girlfriend with whom you can have a good time, then often the girls will lose interest in him. Therefore, bachelors prefer to come up with numerous excuses for their unwillingness to marry.
Negative attitude to the wedding
Unfortunately, it so happened that for men, marriage seems to be a cross between imprisonment and life with sharks. If a lady looks at the photo, as a guy makes an offer to a girl, then her such a picture touches and causes the most pleasant emotions. The man sees in this picture a prisoner who has crossed out his life and now he will suffer hellish torment.
There are a huge number of jokes about husbands and wives related to the wedding and life after it. Some guys are starting to convince themselves so much that marriage is a terrible phenomenon that automatically becomes true for them. They begin to look at friends who have made a family, and see how they stop spending time in the company of comrades. Therefore, some young people automatically begin to conclude that marriage is practically a punishment for sins.
Bad experience
This reason, when a guy does not make an offer to a girl because of a bad experience in the past, is very common. If a man had once been married, and family life absolutely did not coincide with his fantasies, then he would be very cautious to go down the aisle next time. Perhaps in his life a lady met who betrayed him or behaved in a completely inappropriate way. In such a situation, he will automatically expect the same behavior from the next passion. Therefore, if a guy does not make an offer, it is worthwhile to clarify whether he has had a sad experience in family life. Perhaps in childhood he went through a divorce from his parents. It could also leave a negative imprint on family life in his memory.
Opinion of parents
This situation is very common when it comes to young partners, as well as if the man has rich parents who manipulate him with the help of a possible inheritance.
If the parents did not like the chosen one of their son, then they put him in a situation where he must rush between relatives and his beloved. Very often, parents express their opinion in the form of an ultimatum and say that they will deprive the son of inheritance or some other benefits if he still chooses a lady who is unpleasant to them. In this case, a man can refuse a wedding, not wanting to lose financial well-being.
Some guys are too attached to their parents. Their opinion is so important for young people that it is easier to abandon a beloved than to argue with relatives.
Regardless of the reasons why the guy does not make an offer, every woman wants to know how to behave in such a situation, and whether it is possible to change something.
Straight Talk
Grandmothers, aunts and other elderly ladies, who by default are more experienced in family matters, are always advised not to ask a man directly. However, psychologists recommend not to heed such advice. The fact is that only a frank conversation and discussion of joint plans for the near future will help at least somehow clarify the situation.
You need to understand that only women tend to hint to men in every way about the reason for their resentment or unwillingness to do one or the other. Representatives of the stronger sex differ in this from the ladies. They will never write tearful statuses on social networks or hint a lover about their preferences. Guys prefer to talk openly about everything. They will answer questions only if they are asked directly.
During the conversation, it is worth explaining to the partner that marriage is the next stage in the development of relationships. The ring on the finger will not change the life of spouses who already know each other perfectly. It must be remembered that if the lovers decide to have a baby, then when drawing up documents, entering the school of the baby and other legal procedures, the man will be forced to face many problems. In addition, the status of a man in relation to a child will not be understood.
Fear of loss
If a man is not ready for a serious step, you can try to push it. If a woman creates the illusion that she has lost interest in him, and the relationship is on the verge, then the man will try to do everything to tie his beloved to himself. In this case, he will forget about fears, and the imposed idea that married life is fraught with torment will disappear by itself.
However, the situation may turn around in another way. If a guy is not self-confident or weak-willed, then he will regard the lady’s similar behavior as a signal that her feelings have completely cooled down. In such a situation, he may simply retreat.
Take the lead
This method is suitable for courageous women, ready for the fact that events may not develop according to plan. If a man pulls himself with a marriage proposal, it is worth trying to take this step on his own.
By the way, in Europe there is an official tradition, according to which a woman herself can make an offer to her partner on February 29. The guy on this day does not have the right to refuse. If you beat this fun tradition in a playful way, you can get an excellent result.