Do you often think about who is a close person to you? We take the people around us for granted: some come into our lives, others leave it, but subconsciously we always feel who we can trust and who we don’t, who are close to us in spirit. Many are for a long time looking for a loved one. What it should be and how to find it, we will consider in this article.
Definition in Psychology
In psychology, there is the term "psychological proximity." The definition from the words of the famous psychotherapist Eric Erikoson is: "the desire and ability of people to care for each other, to be able to give everything without a trace, while not being afraid to lose themselves."
Eric Byrne interpreted intimacy as "a game-free, upright person who usually does not cause trouble until some kind of game intervenes." Under the game, the psychotherapist meant in this case deception, competition, manipulation, including on a subconscious level. Such relationships soon tire of partners, as a result of which the feeling of closeness disappears.
According to V.V. Makarov: in relations, each other should be a psychotherapist of his own kind, who in any situation can support his soul mate. Sometimes, instead, a traumatic factor occurs between a couple, namely a dependence on a person, a pronounced hierarchy, total control, and more. This all leads to the destruction of relations.
Each person himself gives a definition of this concept. Some believe that a loved one is someone who is always nearby and will be able to support in difficult times. Life refutes this assertion, since you can be close a thousand kilometers apart.
Others think that a loved one and a loved one are one and the same. And to some extent, the way it is. Feelings of love and kinship are essentially synonyms. A person who is blood-related is most often close. But still, the main criterion is not DNA similarity, but warm relations. Thus, a loved one is someone who respects your opinion and is always ready to help.
Parents
Undoubtedly, one of the main and closest people in life is the parents. After all, they help the baby to take the first steps and become a full-fledged personality. Mom and Dad are always worried about their children, they can sincerely rejoice for success, and also help in any situation, not only by word, but also by deed. Therefore, their advice and approval is important even for an adult and an accomplished person. Of course, not everyone can attribute their parents to the category of close people. But their place, as a rule, is occupied by other relatives. It can be uncles, aunts, grandfathers or grandmothers. People who wish you sincerely good and are interested in your successes are the most dear and close.
Child
A child for each parent is the closest person. In children is the continuation of you and the whole family, for this reason people protect their offspring and cherish them. Despite the fact that children grow up quickly and move away from their parents, they still experience some kind of connection. It is important that trust is present between them. Sincere participation in the life of the child and moral support help everyone to feel protected and needed. The life of every person becomes full-fledged when there is a clear certainty that they love and appreciate him.
A close person is you
Many people are afraid of loneliness and are always in search of "their man." Sometimes, in eternal search, they forget about the development of their own personality. And loneliness, where you can stay alone with you, contributes to personal growth.
You must always be mentally prepared for the fact that a person can be left alone, as children grow up, loved ones can leave, and parents also do not last forever. Do not forget that there is always a close person near you - it's you. Some individuals cannot stand loneliness, even within one day they become bored. But it’s worth considering how the person who is bored with himself will be interested in those around him. It is sometimes important to stay alone and listen to your true desires and thoughts. Such practices contribute to peace of mind and peace.
Brothers and sisters
As a rule, close relatives are considered blood relatives, including brothers and sisters. The main reason lies in the fact that interests and worldview in the family circle, as a rule, coincide. There are times when, when communicating with a loved one, you notice a similarity in thoughts. This is what makes it possible to understand that someone shares your point of view, and thus you do not feel alone.
Often sisters and brothers quarrel among themselves, but with age, as a rule, this happens much less often, because it comes to understanding that life can separate them from friends, but not with blood relatives. Blood connection is stronger than friendly. Relatives are of value to each person, not only because of the reflection of their own personality in them, but also because of the presence of joint warm memories.
Spouses
Finding someone close in spirit is considered a great success. As a rule, sooner or later everyone is looking for their soul mate, in order to subsequently become a husband or wife. But to become close friends for each other does not work right away. Sometimes a couple needs to overcome certain difficulties in order to create understanding and trust between them, which is the basis for creating and maintaining a strong alliance. Despite the fact that a wife or husband is chosen of their own free will, their life paths after a certain amount of time can diverge. It also happens that loved ones become strangers. The reason for this can be anything, but one of the main ones is the change of life values and the loss of common interests.
How do we attract a loved one?
Every day we come across different people: everyone has their own appearance, timbre of voice, life position. But among them we sometimes meet a person close to ourselves.
According to the law of physics, opposites attract. But in some respects it does not always work, since there must be something in common. It is not without reason that at various events they put a silent and talkative at the table, in order to avoid boredom and aggressive clashes. Thus, they complement each other in some way.
The closest person does not have to be the opposite sex or relative. Undoubtedly, the family is the most expensive value that should be protected. But despite this, you can meet a loved one in spirit, while not being blood relatives. An example of this is male friendship, in which relations have nothing to do with a friend, but like a brother. When close people are nearby, we feel carefree and calm.
What makes us close?
There is no definite answer to this question, since everyone has their own life stories and cases. But with confidence we can say that relations between relatives and relatives are built on mutual understanding, respect, attentiveness and gratitude. One must be able to compromise, understand and forgive. After all, it is close people who know how to feel each other.
Dreams
What does a loved one dream of? Undoubtedly, dreams with them visit us much more often than others. This is due to the fact that it is about them that we often think and worry about. Thus, it can be assumed that such dreams are a reflection of our attitude towards them. In many dream books, the illness or death of loved ones and relatives is interpreted as improving health and long life. But there are other meanings, depending on different details. In addition, for example, the death of a loved one may portend his wedding in the near future.
In the event that you dreamed of a close-minded person who had not been seen for a long time, such a dream could promise an important event related to it or an early meeting. Also, native people can dream of unexpected surprises, good news and changes. Dreaming a loved one in health is a good sign for both.
But despite the huge number of positive values, there are also negative ones. When asked why a loved one dies or is ill in a dream, certain dream books say that in real life this leads to tense and difficult relationships. They also warn you of an important test in the near future.
The death of a loved one in a dream can also mean a serious loss. Also, this may indicate that there is a disagreement between you, which should be resolved in the near future by means of a frank conversation. If you dreamed of a close person with whom you are currently in a quarrel, then such a dream can be considered an important sign for reconciliation.
As it turned out, there are many options for interpreting certain dreams, both positive and negative. However, it is up to you to decide which option to choose.
The illusion of intimacy
Proximity to humans is periodically confused with "commodity-consumer relations." But at its core, real intimacy lies in caring and the desire to learn and discuss the needs of your partner, which will subsequently become mutual respect for each other.
True proximity to illusion, according to psychologists, is distinguished by its willingness to compromise in various situations. Indeed, if people are really close, then the needs of each are taken into account in a couple and ways of implementation are found, because both partners need a sense of comfort and that’s why by common efforts they achieve a favorable atmosphere.
It is impossible to achieve complete psychological intimacy in a short time. Such a process has been going on for a long time, only if people take steps towards each other. But it is common for everyone to change throughout their lives, in connection with this, you can study your partner forever. Thus, we can conclude that proximity does not have a logical conclusion. Close relationships are the need for constant monitoring of a person’s reactions and listening to his desires.
In the vicinity, an important role is played by the study of one’s person and the observation of changes, which is actually an interesting process, because the development of a person has no boundaries, you just need to support and help him in this if necessary.
How to find a soul mate
Each person, in essence, cannot be alone for a long time. Therefore, sooner or later he will be in search of people close to him with whom he will feel truly happy.
Do not rely only on fate and wait until a person with a soul mate finds you. In the search, the following advice from psychologists can help:
- Be more often alone with yourself and understand your inner world and determine your true goals and desires.
- Communicate as much as possible with new people of different ages and social status. Try to be as open and sincere as possible, the only way you can meet your like-minded people.
How not to lose a loved one
In everyday life, every day our relationships with loved ones are tested for strength. Undoubtedly, in any relationship, sometimes, there are quarrels, misunderstandings and conflicts. But do not forget: in order to achieve a favorable home atmosphere, you need to work on yourself. But initially you need to be confident in your partner, clearly know that he wishes you happiness and is ready to work on relationships with you. If you share common views and attitudes, then you are already on the right track. The following rules will help strengthen relationships and become a loved one for your chosen one:
- Any healthy relationship is built on respect and care.
- Do not limit the chosen one in your personal space.
- Do not forget that any person is not perfect.
- Do not try to remake your partner. Remember, each one is unique in his own way and with the help of support and help you can increase his self-esteem and improve relationships.
- In any situation, do not forget about decency.
- Get interested in your hobbies.
- Learn to express your love with a caring attitude and pay attention to your loved one.
- Undoubtedly, each is special, which has its own point of view, personal qualities, priorities and ideas. But despite this, he must be accepted as he is and work on team relationships. It is through joint work that you can reach any heights much faster. Do not forget that unites you. Common interests and hobbies help strengthen the union that needs to be valued. But differences between loved ones are an integral part of a healthy relationship.
- In no case do not humiliate your partner and do not allow yourself to insult him, even when very angry. Whatever the circumstances, it is unacceptable: a rude attitude, a discussion of its shortcomings in private, and all the more so, surrounded by third parties.
- Support your chosen one as often as possible in his plans and self-expression. In order not to feel a wall between you, it is important to show sympathy and patience to each other, if necessary, and also try not to show jealousy and distrust.
- When quarreling, do not postpone reconciliation until tomorrow.
- Be an example and ask for forgiveness first. It is necessary for a loved one to be noble, open, generous and always ready for reconciliation.
- Do not transfer problems to a partner. The joint solution of various kinds of situations contributes to the cohesion of relations.
- Try to devote more time to each other. Having a good time is only good for the relationship. Watch movies together more often, talk more on various topics, remember interesting joint moments from life, make plans, dream and laugh more, then your life together will sparkle with new colors.