All people are different. Everyone has their own preferences, interests, principles and moral standards, which a person adheres to. Therefore, it is not surprising that at times people cannot find a common language, and because of misunderstanding, conflicts arise. They have different classification, but the rules of behavior in conflicts are universal, therefore effective in any case.
What is conflict?
By conflict, it is customary to mean a situation in which two or more parties are involved, each of which adheres to its own position, incompatible with the interests of the other.
Conflict situations arise when the interests of individual individuals or groups are incompatible. And in each there are both positive and negative points. That is, the constructive and destructive functions of the conflict. And the rules of conduct in a conflict situation determine the nature of the quarrel.
Conflict phases
Each disagreement consists of three main stages:
- Awareness. The parties to the conflict understand that they are upholding different positions. Communication takes on a bipolar character, subjects begin to advocate for their points of view.
- Strategy. The parties understand that they cannot find agreement on a specific issue. The strategy and rules of conduct in conflicts here come to the rescue as possible solutions to the problem. Each subject chooses an acceptable line of behavior for him.
- Act. Parties to the conflict choose methods of action. Each of them depends on the ultimate goal of the participant. For example, subjects can try to reach a compromise, or they can remain “at their own”. This stage is considered to be the final in the conflict.
How can you behave in conflict?
The basic rules of behavior in conflicts consist of five strategies of behavior:
- Adapt. According to this method, one side of the quarrel adjusts to the other. That is, a person even has a different opinion on a certain issue, but he does not express it, for fear of spoiling the relationship or being misunderstood.
- To avoid. Perhaps, among the whole list that contains rules of conduct in conflicts, this is the most common method. Participants of a misunderstanding leave the conflict situation, letting everything go by itself or pretending that nothing happened.
- To find a compromise. A compromise is a decision that will be acceptable to both parties, as it will to some extent satisfy their interests.
- Rival. Subjects of the conflict take active positions and try to prove their opinion to the other side, opposing a different opinion.
- Cooperate. With this decision, the parties find a method that will help achieve the goals of both parties. For example, achieving the goals of one of the participants in the engagement will help the other to realize his plans, so he helps the opponent.
Rules of conduct in conflicts: recommendations of psychologists
Despite the fact that conflict management is an independent discipline that considers the aforementioned situation at a scientific level, the human factor takes place in the development of any confrontation. Therefore, the rules of behavior in conflict are often developed by psychologists, whose competence is to take this into account. Recommendations of specialists are as follows:
- The opportunity to talk. Most conflicts arise for two reasons - the person is too stressed and annoyed to listen to the other, or cannot express his point of view. In any case, to solve the problem, you need to speak out, let off steam, listen to the other side and convey your position.
- Level aggression. Each person wants his opinions to be taken into account, and if this does not happen, many begin to get angry and annoyed. It is likely that the opponent will begin to show aggression. In this case, it is necessary to bring down the attack with unusual and unexpected tricks. For example, you can ask about something that does not concern the subject of conflict. And you can ask for advice - how, in his opinion, a conflict situation can be resolved. The main thing is to switch attention to positive emotions.
- No "reciprocity." Rules of conduct in conflicts often insist that one cannot respond to aggression with aggression. It is better to ask the opponent to tell what he wants to get in the end. After all, the main thing is the result, and people often, seeing a problem, focus on their emotions about it.
- Respect. We cannot say that the opponent is doing wrong. Better to say about your feelings. For example, the impulsive: “You betrayed me!” - replace with a surprised one: “I feel that I was betrayed.” Do not insult your opponent and ignore his words.
- No evidence. Conflict can rarely prove anything. It is better to pay attention to the words of the other side, asking simple questions about her position. With a partner it is worth staying on equal terms, talking calmly and confidently, then the opponent will calm down his aggression.
- Apology. The best way to discourage an adversary is to apologize. But this is only if a feeling and awareness of one's own guilt is present.
- Save relationship. Regardless of how the dispute is resolved, it is better to say bluntly what caused a negative reaction in a certain situation and why. Politeness and sincerity - these are the main components for resolving conflicts. This is better than understatement, which subsequently leads to a breakdown.
What mistakes a conflicting person makes
Very often in conflicts a person relies on his own emotions, and not on common sense. That is why it is difficult to find a solution acceptable to both parties. The most common mistakes are that a person acts selfishly and acts under the influence of emotions. He does not want to solve the problem, but defends only his own opinion, which is why it is difficult to find a compromise. The participant in the conflict does not want to take into account that there are many ways to resolve, but acts only within the framework of established norms or traditions. It also happens that a person in principle does not want to solve a problem - he either agrees with everyone, or switches to another topic, ignoring important issues.
Conflict is good
People have different opinions about conflicts. Someone prefers not to intervene and keep their opinions to themselves, but do not feed someone with bread, just let me shame and prove my case. But each conflict and its successful solution is an opportunity to grow above oneself, to achieve twice as much as previously possible. Therefore, there are rules of conduct in conflicts, so that everyone has the opportunity to constructively defend their priorities.