Today, unfortunately, you will not surprise anyone with a situation where a husband is cheating on his wife. Someone is surprisingly tolerant of such behavior, believing that representatives of the strong half of humanity are naturally polygamous creatures. Someone does not intend to put up with this state of affairs for a second. Today we will try to understand why husbands are cheating on wives. We also offer to find out how to check whether your beloved is faithful to you, and what to do if he is carried away by another woman.
Some statistics
Scientists conducted large-scale studies to find out how many percent of men cheat on their wives. The results were disappointing. So, it turned out that about 74% of Russian men who are officially or civilly married have at least once entered into an intimate relationship on the side, and 40% do it regularly. Experts also concluded that, on average, such novels last about three months. During this time, the violator of marital fidelity about 7-10 times enters into intimate relations with his new partner. However, every fourth husband cheats on his wife much longer. Their novels can last from one to several years. More often than not, over the long years of marriage, men experience several similar relationships.
In addition, experts came to the conclusion that betrayal, betrayal are becoming less and less the reasons for the separation of spouses. If about 40 years ago a similar situation was perceived by women as a terrible tragedy and in most cases ended in divorce, today many spouses are trying to solve such problems together and are trying to save the family.
Why do men cheat on their wives?
Psychologists are sure that not a single couple is safe from such a situation, regardless of the number of children and years lived together. Therefore, in order to prevent such a development of events, each representative of the beautiful half of humanity must know the main reasons why the husband is unfaithful to his wife.
Natural instincts
This reason is perhaps the most common. The fact is that very often the representatives of the stronger sex begin to go âleftâ because of the instincts laid down in them by nature: they try to compare women in order to find the best. Cheating of this kind has nothing to do with love. Therefore, the legal spouses of men who are fond of fleeting romances, as a rule, do not have to worry about their marriage.
Dangerous circumstances
Often a husband cheats on his wife, going on a business trip, on vacation, on a long trip or on a bachelor party. Suddenly arising sense of freedom, hormones, and often alcohol, can lead a fat cross on marital fidelity.
Family routine
This reason is equally relevant not only for men but also for women. So, often after 10-15 years of marriage, the couple ceases to notice the attractiveness and dignity of each other. And if a uniform and routine family life, seasoned with regular quarrels, is added to all this, then it becomes almost impossible to avoid betrayal.
Homosexual
This reason is very rare, but similar situations do occur. It happens that, having lived for many years with a woman, a man understands that he is truly attracted to representatives of not the opposite sex. In this case, the deceived spouse should not even try to save the marriage.
Husband test
Very often, many women do not suspect their spouses of infidelity at all. The fact of betrayal is revealed either by chance, or if a man decides to divorce and officially leave his legal wife. In this regard, each representative of the beautiful half of humanity should be aware of several alarming âbells and whistlesâ that may be harbingers of marital infidelity.
Signs of cheating on husband
First of all, you should be vigilant if your spouse began to carefully monitor his appearance: dress stylishly, use expensive cologne, often shave and go to the hairdresser, etc. These are all, of course, trifles, but you should not ignore them. You should also be wary if your loved one has become too considerate of you. It is possible that there is no catch here, but there is a chance that he feels guilty for what he did and therefore tries to surround his legal spouse with care and affection.
A sign of her husbandâs infidelity may also be the sudden appearance in his life of new friends with whom he spends a lot of time, but for some reason does not acquaint you. Also, suspicion should be caused by excessive workload at work, forcing your spouse to practically spend the night in the office. Of course, everything can be completely innocent, and your husband just makes a career, but there is a risk that this is not so.
Another suspicious point is a change in habits. For example, your husband suddenly quit smoking, began to eat other foods or prefer, for example, a previously unloved brand of wine. It is likely that his lover is pushing him to such changes.
There is practically no need to conduct a test for a husbandâs infidelity, if money suddenly began to disappear from your family budget or your spouse began to spend more time on their earnings. After all, a mistress needs to give flowers, gifts, take her to restaurants, etc.
If you said to yourself with confidence: âI suspect my husband of treasonâ, then in order not to torment yourself with vain experiences, you must try to find out the truth. To do this, first of all, pay attention to how your spouse communicates by phone. After all, if he constantly goes out to talk in another room, then most likely he has something to hide. To be sure, you can check the contents of his phone. Perhaps he does not delete information about calls and stores SMS messages that are pleasant to him. In addition, pay attention to your husbandâs car. Inspect the salon carefully: if the spouse uses the car to meet her lover, then you will surely find lost hair, sequin, scarf or other evidence.
Some of the clear evidence of a manâs infidelity is other people's hair on his clothes, the scent of unfamiliar female perfumes, a barely noticeable trace on the cheek from lipstick, etc. Also, do not forget that all the fairer sex love to give gifts to their loved ones. Some men will never bring him home, while some will give out a new tie or sweater for a present from friends or work colleagues. Therefore, the appearance of your spouse such a little thing should alert.
Do not forget that today many novels begin on the Internet. Therefore, if your husband began to spend long hours in correspondence, then be sure to try to find out who his interlocutor is.
If you seriously suspect your spouse of infidelity, but canât prove anything, carefully look at your own friends, neighbors, as well as his female colleagues. Indeed, most often men enter into relations with representatives of the beautiful half of humanity, whom they know well.
So, as we see, there are a lot of options for how to check your husband for treason. But what to do if the result is positive, and you find out that your spouse is unfaithful to you?
How to survive a husbandâs betrayal
Of course, the first reaction of any woman faced with such betrayal by her husband is a huge resentment, shock and a desire to permanently break off relations with a cheater. Representatives of the weaker sex often fall into real depression, as a result of which they need the help of a psychologist. If you cheating on your husband, you need to calm down and try to take a sober look at the current situation. Of course, this is not always easy. However, the main thing in this state of affairs, as they say, is not to break firewood.
Forgive the husband's betrayal?
A definite answer to this question cannot be given. After all, a woman must decide for herself whether to continue the relationship after the husbandâs betrayal. If your spouse does not yet know that you are aware of his "dirty" tricks, then try to calmly consider the situation as far as possible. Analyze his behavior in this situation, because perhaps he was hiding his infidelity with all his might so as not to hurt you, which, of course, is a little comfort, but he proves his concern and desire to stay close to you. Also remember the years lived together: what was good and bad? Think about the reasons your husband could go left. Perhaps you yourself unintentionally pushed him to such a step.
Talk to your spouse
Try as calmly as possible, without shouting and tantrums, to discuss the situation with your husband. If the spouse offers to divorce, since he has long been in a relationship with another woman whom he loves, then it makes no sense to try to keep him close by force. But what if he repents of his deed and assures that he will never repeat such a mistake in the future? Of course, to the question âForgive the husbandâs betrayal?â Each woman will answer in her own way. But still, you should carefully consider everything before breaking the long-term relationship or, on the contrary, again believe the person who regularly deceived you.
How to build your relationship with your spouse after his betrayal?
If you could forgive your husband for infidelity, then in the future you must try to do everything possible so that such a situation does not happen again. First of all, never rebuke your spouse for what happened. Also, do not waste time and nerves thinking about your former rival. After all, even if she is younger, more attractive and slimmer than you, then this does not matter at all, since in the end you turned out to be the winner.
To revive the old relationship, experts recommend finding common ground with your spouse: for example, take care of a common hobby. A joint vacation is also a great idea.
Take care of your home. Buy beautiful dishes, put things in order regularly and prepare delicious lunches and dinners for your husband. In this case, he will always be sure that they love and wait for him at home, and he does not want to go to the side.
Take care of yourself. Pay attention not only to your husband and children, but also to your beloved. Visit beauty salons, go to fitness, buy beautiful clothes and jewelry. Your spouse will definitely appreciate that his beloved wife looks great.
How to take revenge on an unfaithful spouse?
Unfortunately, many women who encounter unfaithfulness to their husband try to answer the same. In a fit of emotion, such an act seems like a good way of revenge, but subsequently you have to regret it very much. Therefore, you should not become like an unfaithful spouse, because you can teach him another way. About how to punish her husband for treason, and we will talk further.
One of the common and quite effective options is to declare a boycott to the unfaithful spouse. Do not wash his clothes, do not cook him food, and generally ignore him in every possible way. Of course, there is a risk that the man will get angry and leave you, but maybe it will be better, because you are not a housekeeper, but a legal spouse.
The next option is very effective, but rather difficult. Try to shock your spouse: behave calmly and even cheerfully, you can play a trick on his betrayal. After all, he was expecting a completely different reaction on your part. Any man in such a situation will be bewildered, begin to torment himself with speculations about the reason for your behavior, and will also make every effort to restore your love and restore peace and harmony in the house.
Also, as a very pleasant option of revenge, you can simply take care of yourself. If you really want to âlet off steamâ, then shout, beat the dishes. However, it is best to start meeting with close friends and friends more often, visit a beauty salon, go in for sports, and go, after all, on vacation without a spouse. Your spouse will see that he underestimated you, and that you can perfectly do without him, and will do everything possible to win your favor and attention again.