Recently, young people are increasingly entering into early marriages. Of course, this is due to the fact that now young people are too liberated, boys and girls begin early sex life and have no prohibitions.
First marriage
Most often they marry (get married) to their first sexual partner, mistakenly accepting passion for “love for life”. Over time, the "fire" calms down, life begins, and people disperse. Later, such a marriage is called nothing more than a "mistake of youth." Another option, when the marriage is due to the pregnancy of a partner.
The parents of the disgraced girl marry the young. Another option is a man so decent that he cannot leave a pregnant girlfriend alone. Such unions break up almost immediately after the appearance of the baby.
It is quite another thing when the lovers lived together long enough, but because of the betrayal of one of the partners, the marriage broke up. Paradoxical as it may sound, men are much more painful at divorce and less likely to marry a second time.
Happy second marriages
But be that as it may, time passes, and people want new happiness. Regardless of age, everyone needs to feel the love and care of the other half. Already more experienced and cautious in choosing a partner, men and women consciously enter into the next marriage. According to statistics, the second marriage lasts much longer than the previous one, precisely because of the deliberation and deliberation of this decision.
Tips to make a second alliance perfect
Any relationship is a daily hard work that you must try to do as best as possible and “smooth the corners”. Unfortunately, many people realize this only when they enter into a second marriage. And in order for the new union to be stronger and more durable than the first, a number of features in relations with each other must be learned.
1. Do not be shy about new love and hide it from people. If a good person has appeared in your life, you have the most real deep feelings for him and are ready to associate his future fate with him; you should not hide your beloved from relatives and friends. No need to be shy that you love again and want simple human happiness. Let your family and friends still remember you together with your first partner, maintain friendly relations with him or even talk about you. Of course, this person has been in your life. Well, let him (she) remain a pleasant memory.
And new relationships will start from scratch. It is necessary that the second husband (or wife) feel like a real part of your family. It is necessary to ask friends not to talk about past relationships in his (her) presence. You need your loved one to know that the "former" are left behind, and now there is only your family! It’s great if your children will accept the “new family member”. Then the process of "grinding" will be much more comfortable!
2. Stop thinking only about yourself. This item applies primarily to women. Most often, the first divorce is due to the fact that the girl was humiliated in a marriage, her husband cheated or treated her spouse badly. And at some point she could not stand it and broke the “vicious circle”. Or, on the contrary, the husband is tired of life with the “victim” and abandoned her for a bolder woman. After such a humiliating relationship, the girl tries not to make a similar mistake a second time. And in the new marriage, he tries on the role of a more selfish wife. Should not be doing that! You need to remember that in front of you is a completely different man, and do not humiliate him by comparing with the first tyrant husband. And do not bear the old grievances on him. Let him show you that the relationship can be different, and the partner can be gentle and caring. After all, for some reason, you trusted him.
3. Forget about old failures. After you let go of the past along with its negativity and failures, forget about it and do not let it “leak” into a new family. Even if some situations are similar, you should not say the following phrases to your partner: “You are the same as my first husband!” Or “You are the same bitch as the ex-wife!”. This is a huge mistake that people make when entering into a second marriage. We are all imperfect, each has its own shortcomings, but no one will like the comparison with a former lover. If you want the new “cell” to evolve in a new way, forget about the former. Even in a quarrel, be original!
4. Everyone has a past. Here, too, much depends on the woman. Most often, it is she who forgets that not only she had a husband. But the current spouse
has a former family. And if you can break off relations with your first wife, then children from a previous marriage should in no case suffer. The second wife should remember that as her current man relates to his children now, he will also relate to joint ones. Therefore, by any means, help your loved one to see them. Let them come to visit you, get acquainted with the stepbrothers or sisters (if any). Try to find a common language with his children, especially if the new husband now lives and communicates with yours. Everything should be mutual!
It is important that the second wife comes to terms with the fact that a man will give some part of his income to his former family for children. Surely the first spouse will help you if you have a joint child.
Do not try to "step on the same rake"
Not so often, but it happens that as soon as a woman (man) regained happiness and arranged her life anew, the former partner tries to "bring everything back." Calls, harassment and even threats from the spouse begin. He assures that he “made a mistake” and begs the woman to return. In fact, practice shows that nothing will change - as soon as the wife returns to the family, the man will behave as before. And the marriage will fall apart again. Former wives usually return the prodigal spouse to the family through blackmail and child manipulation. Although men most often leave irrevocably. Therefore, if you have already started a new relationship, you do not need to rush around and break into two houses. Have respect for yourself and the partner with whom you have a second marriage.
Do not deprive yourself of happiness to have a joint child
Even if you already have children from previous marriages, unite your real family together. Regardless of how many children you have from your ex, a joint baby will make your union complete. Remember how it was the first time? The baby introduced the “miracle” element into the family, connecting you forever with your husband (wife).
Well, let those relationships remain in the past. Allow yourself again to feel “one” with your loved one. Usually a child in a second marriage is born late and becomes a “new ray of light” in life.
Triumph
There is a stereotype that staging a magnificent holiday for the second time is stupid and pointless. Especially if the woman was already married and wore a white dress. Another thing is when only a man had experience of marriage, and a woman marries for the first time.
In fact, these are simple prejudices of people. Everyone arranges his life only as he wants. If the newlyweds decided to arrange a celebration - fine! Now the children will be able to walk at the wedding of mom and dad.
Celebration Options
Even if this is the second marriage, the wedding can be as magnificent as the first time. You can organize it in any style. It can be a traditional holiday with a decorated car, loaf, ransom and toastmaster. Or a quiet evening in a restaurant with relatives and old friends. If you do not want all this pathos and noise at all, you can just quietly sign in the presence of witnesses.
It is also very good not only to register your relationship, but also to get married in the church. Let it not work for the first time, so maybe this union should be “concluded in heaven”?
However, entering into a second marriage, it is better to choose a more modest dress, and not to wear a veil at all. There is a sign that a woman should have one.
Conclusion
Despite the fact that since childhood we have been taught that a wedding should be once, getting married or getting married is only for love. In life, everything happens in a completely different way. And if love has passed or there is no longer strength to live together, people must part to find a new partner and become happy again. After all, life is one, and you need to live it well!