This article will discuss questions of witnessing marriage to the eyes of the Lord in Orthodoxy, respectively, consider what you need for a wedding in the Orthodox Church.
At the time of our distant great-grandmothers and great-grandfathers, wedding was the only true and recognized way in society that people in love (and not quite in love) could live together and be considered a family. The so-called cohabitation was despised, was considered a low and unworthy thing. Few girls decided on this. What to do before the wedding in the church, people knew the way they now know the alphabet.
How did you feel about the wedding?
Even secretly married people, however, as well as forcibly married (this also happened), it was almost impossible to debunk. Indeed, in order for heaven to consider such a marriage invalid, certain conditions had to be fulfilled. So in the case of a secret wedding, there was nothing left for anyone else but to accept the independence of the newlyweds.
The record of the ceremony was made in the Church books, everything was written down from the words of the people who were married, without presenting supporting documents. Church records for some people were almost the only documents in their lives confirming birth, baptism and wedding.
Over time, in the raging passions of the revolution and atheism, the wedding ritual is almost a thing of the past. Churches collapsed. Communism took wide steps in the country; the cult of Stalin’s personality crushed the people's way of life. Accordingly, all sorts of religious festivities were banned and many church sacraments were also banned .
The church lost its authority and no longer had the right to fill out any documentary papers.
A man who decided at that time to witness his marriage to God risked much. He could have been expelled from the party, but it is worth noting that being “not a communist” in those days was not only embarrassing, but also dangerous. In addition to expulsion from the party, a person was threatened with dismissal from work so that church "opium" would not be distributed in the collective. That's why people grew up who did not even imagine such a rite as a wedding in the Orthodox Church. This, it must be said, did not have a very beneficial effect on post-revolutionary society.
Getting married and getting divorced has become quite simple. A couple who wanted to live together, was obliged to submit an application to the registry office and at the appointed time to come to register their marriage. Printing, painting, and a new family was born.
Wedding in our time
A few dozen more years passed, and now the wedding ceremony again began to spread everywhere. But nobody canceled the registration of marriage.
Both newlyweds and more mature couples are married, who at one time just fell under the "wedding ban."
It is possible that from time to time you thought about how to get married. And perhaps you, like many people, were interested in the question of what is needed for a wedding in the church.
The most important thing
It is necessary to understand whether the desire is to bind oneself with indestructible bonds from the heart. Does your couple understand that such a ceremony imposes obligations on those who are married, which must be performed in this life until death. Thanks to the prayers read during the wedding, the couple becomes forever connected. To debunk such an alliance will be very difficult, it is necessary to observe many conditions, to prove that you cannot be husband and wife, and wait for the permission of the Metropolitan.
Unfortunately, many newlyweds do not understand the seriousness of this sacrament. That's why they arrange a wedding as a fashionable element of marriage. Do not hesitate to meet the young people at the exit from the church, pouring champagne over the bride under the cries of joy and completely inappropriate at the church gates: "Bitter!"
And only after fully realizing the responsibility for such an important step, do you have the right to think about what you need to get married in the church, what indestructible dogmas exist and what items you need to buy for such an exciting and serious ceremony.
Father will not marry you if ...
- You are related, up to the fourth knee.
- One of you is an atheist who is present at the ceremony only to please his half.
- Do not try to get married if you have already passed through this ceremony in your life and are not debunked now.
- Spiritual kinship will also not allow you to become spouses.
- Some of you have a different religion.
- Mental abnormalities in one of the couple.
- In Russia, they will not marry in the absence of documents authorizing this action.
It is useful to know in advance what documents are needed for a wedding in the church. Usually the required documents are, of course, passports and a certificate of marriage. The registry office has remained authorized since the revolution to issue marriage documents. Therefore, without seals in your passport, no one will marry you.
What you need for a wedding in the church: a list of necessary attributes
- The image of the Savior and the image of the Mother of God. Well, if these icons are preserved in your family, you can (even preferably) take them. If not, you should get it in advance at the church.
- Wedding candles, buy them in advance at the church kiosk.
- Wedding rings for the bride and groom.
- The towel is wedding.
- Towel, napkins for candles (from burning wax drops).
- It may well be that you need to make a donation to the temple before the wedding in the church. Usually the price of the donation is fixed.
- Crosses are underwear. You are baptized people, therefore crosses should be on you.
- Cahors, wine used in church ordinances.
- Loaf (optional).
The bride must be in a white dress during the ceremony. Closed shoulders, non-translucent dress, discreet makeup - this is what you need for a wedding in the Orthodox Church. And even if a lady of a very advanced age is married, this does not change matters. Pay attention to the manicure of the bride, he should not be flashy.
The youngest bride’s age must be at least sixteen. The groom can only get married with eighteen years of age. The most mature bride who will be allowed to get married in the church is a lady who has reached the age of sixty years. The most "adult" man who will be allowed to get married should not be older than seventy.
Rings: what are needed and what do they mean
There are still debates about which rings are needed for weddings in the church. Previously, the groom put a silver ring on the finger of his future wife, but the bride put on a ring of gold to the bridegroom. Wedding rings were recognized only as smooth, without engravings and jewelry. Because the ring is a symbol of infinite love of a married couple, and the smoothness of this product meant that the path of the newlyweds through life would be as smooth as the surface of the rings. But sometimes people did engraving on the inner side of the ring, this was only allowed if they engraved some words from prayer to protect the marriage.
Today, young people put gold rings on each other's fingers, sometimes having drawings decorated with precious stones. Although if the ring is very artsy, the father may refuse to marry you. Therefore, try to adhere to the charter. Simple wedding rings that you exchanged at the time of registration are perfect for weddings.
Why go to church before the wedding?
Preparing yourself for the sacrament of wedding, you need to visit the church, talk with the priest. The minister of the church will tell you what needs to be done before the wedding in the church is your couple. Usually stipulates the need for fasting, the Sacrament of Confession and the Sacrament of Communion. The father also agrees with you the wedding day. It will not work to get married on any chosen day, for such a rite there are also some Orthodox dogmas. It will clarify for you whether witnesses are needed at the wedding in the church and what to do if there are still no witnesses for some reason. In life, different situations happen, in some temples, the bride and groom go to meet and provide people who help during the ceremony and hold crowns over the heads of the bride and groom.
Who are the witnesses? Who should not be witnessed at a wedding?
Witnesses at the church wedding ceremony are people who act as guarantors. That is, these people before God vouch for your union. They are also obligated to help in your married life with advice on conflicts and other difficulties.
Allowed to be witnesses:
- A married couple, especially if the couple has been married for many years, and their family is an indicator of a good and faithful family for you.
- Relatives from the bride and groom. Here, take into account one small nuance: these witnesses have no right to enter into a church-sanctified marriage after they were guarantors at your wedding. This is explained by the fact that, having passed the rite, these people have already become spiritual relatives. And the wedding of spiritual relatives is strictly prohibited!
You can not be a witness at a wedding:
- The couple you wanted to witness is now divorced. Since people who failed to preserve their marriage bonds will not be able to teach the young anything worthwhile, they will only cause harm.
- A couple of witnesses live in cohabitation, that is, they have not registered their marriage, even in government bodies.
- If you are planning to invite a couple as witnesses, notify her that for marriage in the church you need to provide their marriage certificate.
Duties of Witnesses
Witnesses at the ceremony perform some functions, these are the most important of them:
- Keep crowns over the heads of the young.
- Help with wedding rings, give them during the ceremony.
- Lay a towel under the feet of a young before a lectern.
- During the passage of the triple procession to go along with the bride and groom.
The wedding in the church takes time from forty minutes or more. It is worth warning your guarantors in advance that crowns are very difficult to hold.
What you need to know for the wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church
- During the wedding ceremony, the newlyweds should not look back at people, nor should they consider the image. You need to look only at the clergyman, so as not to miss important points and be able to answer questions in time.
- It is necessary to be baptized only with the right hand. In the Orthodox faith, the priest is usually addressed with the word "father".
- In no case should you be late for the sacrament of marriage! Think about this moment and better enter the church a little earlier (for about 20 minutes).
- Since wedding is a rather lengthy process, think and take care of your shoes. Don’t wear tight high-heeled boats. Let the shoes be comfortable so as not to distract you from good thoughts and spiritual joy during the ceremony.
- Disconnect your phones during temple visits.
- During the ceremony, the female part of the guests should be on the left side of the room, the male part, respectively, on the right.
- Questions that relate to photography and video are discussed in advance.
- During the ceremony it is not allowed to keep hands in pockets or hold hands.
Wedding gifts for the newlyweds. Which should be given?
- Usually this is an icon depicting Peter and Fevronia Saints - the patrons of all lovers.
- You can also give young table silver or gold.
- A suitable gift would be chains of gold or silver. Only chains should be without crosses.
- Noble candlesticks made of noble metals.
- Flowers - this gift is appropriate everywhere, and the wedding ceremony is no exception.
The blessing of parents
The blessing of the closest and dearest people - parents - is one of the most important points for creating a happy family. The thing is that the blessing given by parents for a happy and long married life is considered a very strong amulet.
Signs for the wedding
- During the wedding process, no one should pass between a pair of young people, otherwise the family will collapse.
- The crown must be worn on the head. If the crown is not worn, marriage to the Lord is not valid.
- For a long and happy life, it is necessary to do this at the same time during a wedding while blowing out candles.
For the best and right choice, please visit several cathedrals before deciding which one you want to be married to.