It is believed that it is easier to meet a wrinkled kizlyak than a faithful man. So do men change everything? It's time to figure it out.
About womanizer
Of course, there is such a category of men - womanizer. They, as a rule, are not too picky in communications, and sometimes omnivorous. They are not preoccupied with moral issues, are often dependent on sex and drag on themselves a lot of complexes. Going beyond this, you will have to come to terms with the fact that you will not be able to remake your spouse and you will have to endure all his adultery.
Why are men cheating?
We are interested in another category of men, fortunately, the most numerous. They are tuned for strong and harmonious relations with one woman, but they, under certain circumstances, are capable of treason. So, are all men cheating on their wives? Statistics say that approximately 75% of men are affected by this weakness.
The betrayal of her husband serves as a signal that something went wrong in the relationship, some of his needs are not satisfied, there is not enough energy.
For example, the wife does not show sensitivity, does not devote enough time to him, is not interested in his affairs. Perhaps the family was mired in problems, and the new romance allows the man to take a break from them, to distract himself and, perhaps, to remember himself as he was before his marriage.
It happens that some lack ease in relationships, flirting. After all, such a love game raises the mood and vitality, but at the same time destroys the family.
So do men change everything? Of course not, but almost any of them can be brought to treason.
What if the husband cheated?
If you suspect your husband of treason, act to fix it. Espionage and scandals are not included in the list of measures. To begin with, you can try to discuss everything and ask him to clarify the situation.
This requires a certain courage, you must be prepared to get a direct answer to a direct question, namely, to listen to a confession of treason. Do loving men cheat? Unfortunately yes. Are all women ready to accept this truth? Not everyone succeeds after such a revelation to forgive and maintain a relationship.
The main thing in such a situation is not to decide anything on emotions, not to listen to anyone's advice. It’s better to take a timeout, let off the steam and think, because you can break off the relationship at any time, but then it can be very difficult to restore, sometimes impossible.
No need to blame all the responsibility on the “vile traitor”, both are always to blame for treason, of course, if we are not talking about womanizer.
How to behave if betrayal still happened? There is no single answer to this question. It is important to decide for yourself whether you want to maintain a relationship or not.
If you decide to save the family, try to switch, not think about the bad, but rather, remember all the good that you had, starting from the day you met. It can be a honeymoon, family holidays, trips, birth of children.
During this period, try to communicate only with those who support you and believe in your marriage. Stay away from those who will try to make you feel guilty. If you can’t avoid communication, abstract yourself, focus on some scenario, for example, communicate with his parents as your grandfather and grandmother and skip their notations.
Do not communicate with well-wishers, who consider it their duty to keep you informed of all the nuances of the development of relations between your husband and his mistress.
If you decide that you can no longer maintain a relationship, allow yourself to suffer. Set yourself strict time limits, for example, give yourself three days for grief.
During this period, do what you want: cry, hysteria, beat dishes. Let the grief come out of you. After that, you may want to sleep. Allow yourself to sleep and rest. Recover and turn the page.
How to prevent treason
Answer the question, can a man change if he receives from his wife everything he needs to be happy? Will he begin to spend energy on the search for what he already has in abundance? Unlikely.
The hardest part is to understand what your other half is missing. Unfortunately, people rarely talk about their problems and feelings, preferring to bring down charges on their partner and reward him with unflattering epithets. If everything was different, the situation could be resolved without bringing it to treason.
You need to accustom yourself to talk about your feelings, and using “I-statements”: “I am offended”, “I am evil”, “I am upset”, “I’m tired”. Try not to use “you-utterances”: “you offended me”, “you deceived me”, “you are to blame”. You also do not need to step on your spouse's throat and in an ultimatum form demand that he urgently admit that he does not suit him in your relationship.
Start with yourself and honestly talk about your feelings. Soon, your partner will pick up the baton and also learn to talk about how he feels. The main thing is not just to listen, but to discuss and draw conclusions. Try to understand what the partner does not like and adjust their behavior.
Fidelity in relationships is not a myth, it is possible, you only need to work on strengthening them together. The secret of harmony is simple - do for the partner what he loves and do not do what he does not love.
Who's guilty?
We will now examine in more detail the reasons for betrayal, and whether a loving man can change. Most often, a woman is accused of male treason: she lost her form after giving birth, did not suit him in bed, did not take care of herself. The man, on the contrary, is justified, explaining the campaigns to the left by his penchant for polygamy. What to do if the husband went on a spree and how to fix it?
Let's find out who is to blame for a start. According to psychologists, the responsibility for the actions lies with those who commit them. According to recent studies, both men and women are polygamous in nature. But shouldn't we, as intelligent beings, think about the consequences of our actions and control animal instincts? The ability to control desires does not depend on gender.
Excess weight, loss of attractiveness, lack of sex are not the main reasons for infidelity, because they change young beauties, celebrities, and ordinary girls. What is the secret? Is it possible to protect yourself from betrayal?
Can! First you need to understand yourself, understand your essence, get acquainted with your subpersonalities, their desires and needs, and then get acquainted with the partner’s personalities, his desires and needs.
What for? To make it easier to understand and accept each other, without trying to fit the universally recognized standards of an ideal husband or wife. Indeed, infidelity most often occurs due to unwillingness to accept something in a partner. Most often these are those aspects of his personality that are rejected by our culture and morality.
Imagine now that a person will appear in his life who will accept these features of him. It will not ridicule or condemn, but, on the contrary, value and accept for granted, will help to open up. What is the likelihood that it is here that he will try to satisfy his needs?
So, now allow everything? Of course not, but people have certain feelings that are of paramount importance and they simply need to be expressed. Often wives demand from their men that they are not just pay-boys, but excellent girls in starched aprons. They just want to make husbands comfortable, and they sometimes need to be wild and evil.
So, let's talk about the main reasons for betrayal and how to get out of the situation.
Birth of a child
Perhaps the most common reason. Not all couples pass through this test. The appearance of the baby changes the whole way of life of the family, the whole time the woman is devoted to the child, and if you add here sleepless nights, disruptions in sexual life, lack of attention and the elementary ability to communicate in a relaxed atmosphere, the child becomes not just an obstacle for her husband, but sometimes a competitor. All this makes a man seek happiness on the side.
What to do? Set aside time for her husband. It’s better not to give a damn about cleaning, but find time for sex. He will forgive the dust on the dresser, but the lack of closeness is unlikely, and you will agree that you will like this lesson more.
Violation of personal space
Almost every man has a hobby. Someone plays hockey, someone plays billiards on Fridays, someone has the largest collection of photographs of Maya Plisetskaya, someone cannot imagine their life without World of Tanks, and someone goes to the bathhouse on Saturdays. And if women are willing to sacrifice their hobbies, most men do not. Therefore, if you forbid your husband to do what you love, it will ruin your relationship and alienate him from you. The husband will have a feeling that you are choking him, restricting his freedom.
Of course, if you need his help, just ask your spouse this time to postpone your favorite pastime, but do not put ultimatums, do not demand and do not put pressure on him. Respect his hobbies, and even better share, this will benefit your relationship.
Jealousy
The disgusting feeling that destroyed many families. By jealousy, you destroy the image of the desired woman that has developed in relation to you with your husband. By doubting yourself, you make him think that there are other, more worthy women, and you can push him to treason. Jealous from scratch, you cause aggression in a man, and he gradually loses interest in you. Can a loving man change in this situation? The answer is obvious.
What to do? Work on yourself, become an independent person. Then you will simply attract his attention even more.
Financial difficulties
A man is a getter. Bringing a mammoth home, especially if this mammoth is big, he feels like a really cool guy. Unfortunately, financial stability is a variable value, and if problems with money start in the family, this greatly affects the pride of a man.
If, in addition, the wife begins to demean his dignity, constantly remind him of failure and escalate the situation, the relationship can be completely upset. Do men cheat on their wives if they constantly beat on their pride? Perhaps not all, many just break off relationships.
Tell your man that he is strong, that he will succeed. Inspire and he will turn the mountains!
Lack of sex
An unsatisfied man will look for a woman on the side, and this is the law. And no matter how often you have sex, the main thing here is its quality. Nine percent of cheating is due to dissatisfaction with sexual life, statistics say. Do men all change, if their wives do not satisfy them in bed? Most!
Study your man, talk with him, discuss sexual problems and share your desires. He wants to be a good lover, so let him do this, let him try for you. Otherwise, he decides to become a good lover for someone else.