Probably there is no such person who would not see frames dedicated to marriage in American feature films. However, the movie does not give a complete picture of the ceremony. And many are concerned about how exactly the American wedding takes place, what customs and traditions are observed in preparation for the celebration and during its direct conduct. Many are completely sure that in the USA there are no special traditions that would be steadily observed at each ceremony. But this is not at all true. Moreover, wedding customs in America, like all other holiday traditions, people try to observe completely.
What is the attitude of ceremonies and their traditions in the USA?
An American wedding is a list of strict rules that must be followed and a specific sequence of events. You canāt just go into the chapel and leave the spouses from there, unless, of course, the bride and groom are not in Las Vegas. But this ācity of quick marriagesā has its own traditions.
The vast majority of Americans are conservative people. This means that it is important for them that the ceremony was not only beautiful, but also consistent with all historically established rules.
How much time should go from engagement to ceremony?
How is the American wedding going and what are its main differences from the Russian? Firstly, the rite itself consists of two mandatory stages, between which at least six months must pass. Of course, we are talking about the betrothal of the couple and the direct registration of their union. The time interval between these stages, which did not last six months, is considered a violation of decency. If a couple is in a hurry to register their relationship, then this is the reason for the emergence of various rumors and gossip. As a rule, people begin to think that the bride is pregnant and her family is trying to "cover up the sin" with an early wedding or registration.
Of course, in our time, few people are interested in whether the girl is in a position or not. This rule originated during the time of the first settlers. However, it is still respected. Moreover, one should not only rush into the wedding, but also delay it. If a year passes between the betrothal and the wedding or registration, then this is considered a sign of uncertainty about the advisability of concluding a marriage or any obstacles. That is, excessive slowness, as well as haste, is an occasion for human rumors. And they, in turn, badly affect the reputation of the families of the bride and groom, as well as the marriage itself.
The optimal time interval between engagement and registration of relations is considered to be a period of six to twelve months. Typically, most Americans get married eight months after their engagement.
Do I have to pay a fee?
Laws in the USA are very strict and even tough, especially those that make up "family law" or regulate taxation issues. If in Russia it is enough to pay the fee and bring a receipt confirming this to the registry office, then in the USA everything is much more complicated.
Before the wedding, you need to not only pay tax, but also go through a series of medical and legal procedures. Their list depends on the age of people about to start a family and on what state they intend to register their relationship with. The size of the duty is also different in each state. As for medical procedures, in most states this means confirmation of the sanity of the bride and groom. Lawyers usually find out if there are any barriers to marriage from the side of the law.
The age at which you can marry also varies by state. There are no restrictions on the registration of relations due to old age, if the couple are in their right mind and do not take potent drugs. But same-sex marriage is not registered in any of the states.
How many rings do you need for a wedding?
Many believe that only two wedding rings are required for the ceremony. This is really enough in Russia, but not in the USA. American traditions prescribe the need for a minimum of three rings - two female and one male.
However, each jewelry store will offer a man who is going to make an offer of marriage, two options for sets. The first option, or as it is also called, āsetā, includes three rings necessary for the rite, made in the same style. The second option, "full" consists of four rings. To the basic "configuration", that is, to the three required rings, jewelers add one more, spare.
When does the preparation for the celebration begin and end?
American wedding is a very grandiose and expensive celebration. Of course, it requires careful preparation. However, you canāt start preparing for the holiday until the moment the betrothal passes. But also should not be delayed with the preparation of the celebration.
As a rule, preparations for this event begin a week after the engagement. Finished training is considered only after the "dress rehearsal". In other words, before the wedding, the bride and groom, their parents, best man and girlfriends lose the entire upcoming ceremony, including the ceremonial dinner. Of course, they donāt have to try all the dishes, but the rehearsal of cutting the holiday cake is mandatory.
All this is carried out on the eve of the bachelor party and the bachelorette party, it is they who mark the end of preparation for the celebration. It is curious that the organizers of the wedding have nothing to do with the holidays of "farewell to bachelor life." Stag and hen parties traditionally organize bridesmaids and best man of the groom.
What is a wedding scenario? Who makes it up?
The classic American wedding script is quite simple. It has several mandatory points to which the organizers add something at the request of the couple or their relatives.
Mandatory items include:
- arrival of the groom and best man to the place of marriage;
- the arrival of the bridesmaids and her father;
- placing the bride in a separate room;
- gathering guests;
- occupation by a future husband and his witness of a position at the altar;
- the girlās exit by the arm with her father, who brings her to the priest or registrar and retreats, taking a place in the front row;
- the wedding itself or registration;
- beginning of a banquet;
- speech of the father of the bride;
- cutting the cake;
- throwing a bouquet;
- departure of the newlyweds;
- the end of the holiday.
This is the "skeleton" of triumph. A lot of intermediate points are added to it, which depend not only on the wishes of the couple and their relatives, but also on where exactly the American wedding will be held. For example, during a wedding in a church, the item āhall decorationā will be added. And if the celebration will be held in the fresh air, then you will need awnings, portable furniture and garlands.
A wedding script, like her organization, is usually trusted by professionals. In the United States, there are a lot of agencies involved in organizing these celebrations. However, if desired, the scenario of the holiday can be entrusted to relatives or friends. Itās not customary to organize a wedding on your own. It is believed that the bride and groom have many other concerns.
What are the people doing before the ceremony?
When observing the American holiday, one sometimes gets the impression that the groom at the wedding is a very minor figure. Most of the traditions and customs are associated with the bride and her relatives, and the future husband, in fact, only pronounces marriage vows and puts a ring on the girlās finger that the best man holds out to him.
In preparation for the celebration, little depends on the groom either. Traditionally, his ādutiesā include the selection or compilation of texts of marriage vows. Of course, the acquisition of rings is also the concern of the future husband.
The bride is busy choosing dresses for herself and girlfriends who will surround her at the celebration. Also, it is customary to consult with her in matters of registration of the venue of the holiday.
But everything related to invitations to the holiday, the bride and groom do together. That is, they choose what the invitation will be and determine the circle of guests. Future spouses pass the full list of guests to the organizer of the wedding. Future newlyweds are engaged in sending out invitations personally. Although, this point is not fundamental. If a lot of guests are expected, then organizers can also send out invitations.
What does the brideās father do at the wedding?
The girlās dad is one of the main figures at the celebration. In some states, there are even humorous sayings that there may not be a groom at the celebration, but the father of the bride is required to attend. In the event that, for some reason, the girlās dad cannot take part in the wedding, then he is replaced by an older relative. In this case, the "planted father" takes part in the celebration.
At the end of the last century, a new tradition arose. The role of the "planted father" began to be performed by the friends of the bride, of course, men. There are also cases when these functions are taken over by one of our work colleagues.
What does the father of the bride do? Firstly, it is he who gives the signal about the beginning of the celebration after he is convinced of the readiness of the groom, guests and, of course, his own daughter. He brings the bride to the altar, that is, symbolically transfers the right to care for the girl to her future spouse.
Not a single American wedding is complete without a festive feast, but the father opens the speech of the newlywed. This is an unshakable tradition, which is not accepted to be violated. If the father is not present at the celebration, then the speech is delivered by the older male relative or the one who led the girl to the altar. The newlywed mother does not have to give a speech opening the banquet, as this is considered indecent. There is also a sign according to which the opening of the feast of the newly-made mother-in-law promises her constant intervention in the life of the young.