How to love a person? Such a question is often asked by people who become objects of non-reciprocal love. Many psychologists insist that strong relationships begin with friendship, while a novel based only on mutual passion is not durable. So why not try to fall in love with someone who loves you, even if he causes only friendly sympathy?
Is the game worth the candle
In books and films, there are not only stories about how people fell in love with each other. Nonreciprocal love also often becomes the basis for the plot, and such works often have a happy ending. Similar situations are quite common in life. Should a person who has become the object of nonreciprocal love try to evoke feelings for the aspirant to his heart?
Why not, if a person dreams of creating a family, understands that the one who seeks his attention suits him, causes a favor. Friendly sympathy can always degenerate into something more, if it is properly promoted. How to do this is described below.
What if the society of one who is in love is unpleasant for a person, causing only irritation and anxiety? In this case, you should hardly force yourself to spend time with him, trying to fall in love. The result of such efforts is most likely to be zero.
Where to begin
How to love a person who loves you? First you need to finally get rid of the relationships that are already in the past. It is especially important to pay attention to this issue if the separation occurred recently. You can’t count on a positive outcome if the person has feelings for his former lover. Of course, it is difficult to get rid of emotions associated with previous relationships, but the process can always be accelerated.
So, before you try to fall in love with a good person, you need to force yourself to forget about whom you have not developed a relationship with. To do this, you need to find as many interesting activities as possible that will not leave time for sad thoughts and memories. Welcome to social events to help unwind. You can also come up with a fascinating hobby, enroll in courses that promote personal growth, and so on.
If you need to love a person
Suppose that feelings for a former lover no longer poison life, do not impede the beginning of a new relationship. How to fall in love with a person to whom the object of unrequited love feels only sympathy? It’s worth starting work on this by compiling a list of its merits. It is possible that the applicant has many positive qualities that make him worthy of attention. You can note his mind, devotion, kindness, sense of humor and so on. The longer the list of merits, the better.
It is great if a person likes the appearance of someone who confesses love to him. In this case, you should definitely place the photo of the chosen one in a prominent place, so as to admire him as often as possible.
Avoid Criticism
If you want to love a person, it is advisable to pay as little attention as possible to his shortcomings. All people from time to time commit the wrong actions, say the wrong words. It is necessary to be more tolerant of the mistakes that a potential lover makes, concentrate on his positive, not negative traits.
At this stage, conflicts and quarrels are most dangerous for nascent relationships. Do not provoke them with criticism, even if some character traits of the candidate cause irritation, rejection. Of course, this does not apply to shortcomings with which a person can never reconcile. In this case, it is worth considering whether it is advisable to try to arouse feelings in yourself.
Spending time together
If a girl wants to love a young man, she needs to spend more time in his company. It’s hardly possible to evoke feelings for a stranger, so you should try to get to know the candidate better. It’s great if you can discover common interests, start a joint hobby. Such a pastime will necessarily lead to rapprochement, there will be more topics for conversations that are of interest to everyone. It is also useful to attend social events, watch films, performances, and so on.
Perhaps you should also decide on a joint vacation, especially if people have known each other for a long time. Seeing a lover outside the usual circumstances, you can look at him in a new way, experience an interest that had not existed before. Of course, a joint vacation in a romantic setting that evokes the right emotions is welcome.
Tokens
An important point is the manifestation of attention to the chosen one. It is necessary to provide the applicant with support in difficult life situations, be interested in his problems and concerns, and show sympathy. Indifference does not contribute to the emergence of mutual feelings. Also, one cannot disregard the opinion that he adheres to on a particular issue. It is known that the more moral energy invested in a person, the closer and more expensive he becomes.
Is it possible to love a person without paying attention to the good that he does for the object of his love? Gifts, compliments, caring - all this must be noted. Cultivating a sense of gratitude, speaking about it out loud, it is easier to get closer.
Of course, paying attention to a potential partner, it is important not to forget and share your own feelings, thoughts, feelings with him. Secrecy does not promote rapprochement, nor does the desire to solve all their problems on their own.
Self-deception
Sincerely wanting to love the one who is seeking attention, you can try to convince yourself that this has already happened. To do this, it is useful to behave as lovers do, to be together more often, to strive for spiritual closeness, to go on dates.
It is also useful to tell the world about your feelings, even if so far they exist only in the imagination of the narrator. Let no one doubt that he sees a couple in love. The more people find out about the alleged romance, the better. Trying to convince others (friends, acquaintances, relatives) of your love, you can one day realize that it really arose.
Eyes to eyes
Is it possible to love a person over time? For this, psychologists advise more often to look into the eyes of a potential lover. The eyes of a lover radiate happiness and joy, talk about his willingness to do crazy things for the sake of the object of his passion. Such feelings are contagious, it is easy for people to feel sympathy for someone who is in love with them. Following a friendly disposition, love can come.
Meeting parents
What else can be done to love a young man? This is facilitated by communication with those for whom he is the best. First of all, these are the parents of a potential partner, so you should not avoid communicating with them, flatly refuse to meet you. In addition, this will help to better know the candidate for the role of the second half.
Of course, communicating with friends and buddies of a possible chosen one, who are also able to talk about his best qualities, help him demonstrate them, is also useful.
Frankness is important
The above says that it is necessary to refrain from criticism, try not to provoke quarrels. However, this does not mean that you need to be silent about everything that does not suit the relationship, especially when it comes to really important points that can destroy them. A frank conversation helps to eliminate many problems if you conduct it in a calm and friendly tone. For example, do not hide from your partner your preferences in bed, and also forget to be interested in his habits and desires.
About the benefits of breaking up
The above describes how to love a person, if such a desire arises. However, one should not forget that in everything a measure is needed. Anyone who literally forces himself to spend a lot of time in the company of a potential partner can easily begin to feel tired and irritated. If dates begin to seem like an unpleasant duty, you should definitely press a pause, take a break in communication and try to figure out your own feelings.
It is possible that separation will help to understand how important the person in love plays in the life of the object of his attention. Perhaps simple interest has already transformed into a more serious feeling. If the desire to meet does not arise for a long time, you should not force yourself to renew dates. It is highly likely that nothing good will come of it.
How to properly evaluate the result
So, the answer to the question of how to love a person is obvious. However, how do you understand whether it was possible to achieve the goal? This is not always easy, because love is a feeling that can manifest itself in different ways.
If doubts remain, you need to listen to your feelings, being next to the potential second half. It is wonderful if a person who until recently considered himself an object of unrequited love, feels comfort, lightness, joy. Also a hint of a nascent feeling can serve as a melancholy that appears during prolonged separation from a partner.
What to do if such emotions do not arise, although enough time has already passed? This may indicate that the person in love is still the hero of someone else's novel. Therefore, it is better to tactfully part with him, trying not to hurt his feelings, and then proceed with the search for the real second half, which is sure to be found.