The word "love" is familiar to each of us. Even small children use it in their everyday life quite often. However, it turns out that not everyone understands the feeling behind this word.
Love, what kind of feeling it is, and how it affects our lives, can be considered both from the point of view of science, and from the point of view of the absolute concept accepted by mankind. However, many people never even thought about the meaning of this word. What kind of feeling is love and what are its true motives, only a few know, moreover, even it is difficult for them to describe this feeling in ordinary words.
At the very source
In order to understand such a wonderful feeling as love, you should first turn to religion. After all, as you know, any society rests precisely on faith, and in fact, what they believe is practically unimportant. The Bible says that a feeling that can endure for a long time, not be proud, not think evil, cover everything and believe everything, is called "love." As a rule, this feeling arises to people who are close in kindred or spiritually. The Holy Scriptures also indicate that such relationships exclude all benefits. It turns out that, from the point of view of religion, this is a kind of virtue that excludes the possibility of using. Most likely, most true believers agree with this definition and try to follow it. But is it so easy to love openly and disinterestedly in our time?
Modern morals
Of course, it is possible that some people live according to the rule “If you hit the left cheek, you need to substitute the right cheek”, but every day there are less and less of them. It follows that the modern world does not connect sacrifice with attraction. But really, what kind of feeling is this love, that you need to be humiliated and feel offended?
Rather, on the contrary, the beautiful word that characterizes the feeling of attachment to another person causes a feeling of warmth and lightness in the heart. Modern love is a feeling of affection, comfort, a desire to make a person pleasant. Probably maternal can be safely called the reference love. Many scientists believe that this type of attraction is the strongest in the world.
So different love
Love, what kind of feeling, and its varieties were studied by one Canadian sociologist John Alan Lee. He identified several types of relationships between men and women, namely:
- Erotic love. From the name it becomes clear that such a feeling is based on the sexual attraction of partners to each other. Most often, this appearance is manifested by flashes and cannot last long. However, there are cases when an erotic attraction lasted for years.
- A game. This is the second type, which is characterized by the simplicity of feelings. The relationship of such a married couple is more like an exciting game than love.
- Gradualness. Most likely, this is one of the more durable types, because it is based on such a feeling as friendship. A long friendship grows into attachment and an attraction arises that can last for years. But there is a catch, too little passion.
- Love mania. People are controlled by a sense of passion, they do not notice anything around, except for the object on which this feeling is directed. As a rule, what is “love” and how does it differ from simple passion, a person does not realize, mania quickly passes and relationships break down.
- Pragmatic feelings. In such relationships, the partner clearly knows what he is looking for. He knows exactly what qualities a second half should have. Pragmatic attraction can last for many years.
- Love is ideal. This is a long relationship that is based on trust, selflessness, tolerance. These are the ideal feelings that many seek.
Great people "about love"
Since the attraction of people can be discussed endlessly, most of this feeling has been studied in the field of philosophy and literature. Who, if not philosophers and poets, should study what love is. Dante Alighieri in his works described this feeling as a kind of force that can set in motion the sun and the stars.
Plato, in turn, studied love in terms of aesthetic perception. He interpreted it as falling in love with a beautiful body. From this doctrine arose the concept of platonic love. This feeling, based solely on spirituality, which is devoid of any physical sensuality.
Love, what kind of feeling, and how to recognize it, tried to understand Albert Camus. He once said that all people are prone to bouts of despair. He associated these states with the absence of one great love. All his life, Camus was in search of truth. His philosophical reasoning considers love from the point of view of true happiness. He believed that love should not bring a person anything but happiness.
Jealousy and love
As François de Larochefoucauld said, jealousy has more love for oneself than for another. And, in fact, these words are not without meaning. In modern society, it is generally accepted that jealousy is somehow associated with the concept of love. But is it really so? After all, first of all, love is trust in a partner, the absence of doubts about him. And jealousy is an absolutely opposite feeling, which suggests that a person does not trust his partner. The concept of jealousy in love relationships can only be viewed from the point of view of property. Every person who loves would like all the attention of his halves to be directed only to him.
Love from the point of view of Erich Fromm
In a science such as psychology, love is viewed from a slightly different angle. For example, E. Fromm studied what love is, what kind of feeling it is, and how it affects a person’s life in terms of character traits. That is, he is able to love everyone, or anyone. In other words, he believed that this feeling could be a character trait of a certain individual and set the attitude to the world as a whole.
That is, love cannot be represented as a feeling for one person - if this happens, then this is most likely only selfishness. Love is light, According to Fromm, it heats everyone around.
Sternberg Theory
This theory considers love in three components - determination, passion and intimacy. Strenberg believed that without these components, feeling cannot exist. What does love look like if it lacks passion or determination? A person who is truly in love with another will definitely decide in his intentions, he glows with passion and feels certain obligations to himself. In addition, an important component of love is its object. For example, the object of mother’s love is her child. She cherishes him, educates, loves, no matter what, but some circumstances can lead to a decrease in feelings of love. They say that love forgives everything, but in fact it turns out that even this feeling has certain limits and can stop.
What is love in your own words
Of course, given the fact that this feeling has a huge number of faces, everyone is able to feel it in their own way. Someone claims that when a person is in love, his heart beats more often, someone feels lightness in the area of the diaphragm, or vice versa a spasm. But these feelings do not haunt people for a long time, but, most likely, arise only at the peak moment of the development of the situation.
It is very difficult to explain what love is, in your own words, to those who have never experienced this feeling. But those who have experienced do not always manage to understand: was it really love.
Love and intimacy
Many philosophers and psychologists have been arguing for years over whether closeness in love relationships is imperative. Of course, everyone knows about the existence of Platonic love, and this is proved by the fact that such a relationship is possible. But on the other hand, some scholars believe that platonic love is just a myth and self-deception. As you know, when a person is in love, the desire for intimacy arises in him uncontrollably.
Unfortunately, in our time, the proximity between two people does not mean at all that there is a feeling of love between them. Many people completely confuse sexual relations with this wonderful feeling. However, studying the concept of “love” in psychology, what it is and how it arises, we are once again convinced that, first of all, love is spiritual closeness. People should be attracted to each other not only physically, but also morally. They should be interested together, they should have common goals and, of course, have wonderful sex - only in this case love arises between them.