If you are the very good friend who wants to reconcile his friends in a quarrel, then you are wondering how to do this. When a quarrel starts near you, it becomes awkward and unpleasant. How to avoid endless complaints that you often fall into? What to do? Maybe you should take the side of an intermediary?
Reasons for quarrels between friends
"And why do they quarrel again?" - you think and with all your might try to help your friends find a smile again. What prompted them to quarrel? There are several reasons:
- With no reason. Girls or guys just released stress, resentment. The man on whom this “wind flew” picked up the words and did not want to take the side of the interlocutor.
- Life views. Are life views and values as important as a best friend? Remind it of the quarrels.
- Jealousy. One friend found a girl and began to devote less time to the second, but his searches were not asked? The reason for the conflict is that you are afraid of losing a friend.
- New friend or girlfriend. If your company is replenished with a new member, then this can also cause a quarrel. Try to remind your new friend to pay equal attention to all the other guys or girls.
Method number 1. Listen, but do not take sides
The simplest advice on how to reconcile friends is to listen to people, to try inadvertently to justify each person to another. To make this idea a success, try:
- Listen to each friend’s version. Ask: why did the quarrel happen? What is the reason? It is important to listen to each person individually, but so that you are only together, without a second friend. Also show a friend how you listen carefully. Set aside all things, phone. You can take his hand or hug him if a tantrum starts. An important point: specify incomprehensible fragments.
- A friend does not want to tell anything. If the interlocutor runs away from the conversation, then start it first! Ask questions that he will answer for sure. For example: "Do you look depressed, did something happen?" Do not interrupt the interlocutor if "the conversation went uphill."
- Do not tell anyone about the dialogues, and especially the interlocutor! All the information you received may be shocking or untrue, but do not immediately rush to chat about it! After all, man has revealed his soul to you! You do not want to take the place of the "quarreling interlocutor"?
You have drawn conclusions for yourself, which means it's time to move on to the next stage.
Become an intermediary between friends
Some quarrels end in the first stages, when the guys decide how to make friends between themselves. But if the unpleasant situation dragged on, it's time to move on to more complex methods:
- Find a place to meet friends. Let it be a quiet area where you can talk with the guys or they chat with each other.
- Please note that if one of your friends is in a bad mood, you will have to postpone the undertaking. Try to find a time when both people are positive. You can include your favorite song for friends before a meeting or ask to calm down, breathing deeply.
- Ask friends to speak in the first person. No need to blame someone: "I’m tired of you with your stupid things!" Thus, it will be easier for the interlocutor to insert an argument or some kind of argument. Say: "I'm tired of these stupid things!"
- If friends quarreled again, then help resolve the conflict. Defuse the situation and do not let them quarrel again.
- Is something unclear to you? Ask your interlocutor. It is possible that incomprehensible facts arose in the dialogue, which led to a quarrel. The faster you find them, the easier it will be to finish the argument.
This was the first way to make friends.
What should be done at the end of an argument?
Now that the guys have spoken to each other, you can begin to reconcile. Very often the interlocutors themselves find a compromise and after a few seconds cuddle in a smile.
But what if reconciling friends, as well as finding a compromise, did not work out? Then you can ask them a leading question: "Has it become easier for you?"
Find a solution to the problem yourself. If the insult lies in the fact that you wanted to go with your friends to the park, but one did not come, then make an agreement. If you are late for somewhere or do not want to go, then warn others using SMS or a call.
Method number 2. The quarrel continues: how to reconcile best friends?
If your attempts crashed and your friends are still offended by each other and even by you, then proceed to the following actions:
- Be on the neutral side. In no case do not choose someone else's side in the dispute. Even when things are obvious. You can argue your answer like this: "I am for neutrality."
- Do not be a "postman", but also carry "mail"! Do not get hung up on passing each word to another person, writing messages and meetings. From the conversation, catch the gist. Also, do not tell the guys that you will not reconcile them. Your task is to reduce the conflict, and not make friends enemies!
- How to reconcile two friends if you like giving out tips? Just keep silent! Your advice can be quite useful, but let your interlocutors figure out something at least on their own. Ask people better and sometimes express your opinion.
- Do not underestimate the quarrel. For you, this may seem like a trifle, but for your friends - a real war! So try to accept the whole problem, put yourself in the place of each interlocutor.
If you feel you need a recommendation from you, then ask a friend about it. Does he want advice? If the answer is yes, then tell the idea in general terms.
Mediation and Psychology
How to reconcile friends, a guy and a girl or a girl with a girl, or maybe a guy and a guy? What needs to be done to see their happy smiles again? This tactic is often called mediation. It is used by company leaders, parents. The essence of mediation is that your task is to reconcile friends with the help of concessions on the one hand.
You must clearly understand that the whole situation will depend only on you. Explain that some kind of quarrel, loss is nonsense in the highest friendship. Remember the bright moments, laugh plenty.
Is it possible to reconcile friends in an unusual way? How to do it?
A good friend is a person with imagination. That is why he wants to reconcile his friends by any means. Are there any unusual and rather creative solutions to this problem?
You can reconcile the guys in these ways:
- Beat the stereotyped thinking of the quarreling and give one of them a gift. It is you who must help the guys take the first step. Of course, be prepared that you too will be “dropped”, but the first step towards reconciliation will be taken!
- Explain that you love them and do not want them to continue to curse. Just don't confuse this with coercion! Gently hint to your friends that you are tired of these inquiries and abuse.
- How to make friends? Let them tell each other everything they think about. Choose a secluded, deserted place, shout enough or cry. Most likely, an annoying quarrel will end with joy and smiles!
What is not worth doing?
If you want to make friends, then in no case do these things:
- Do not take 2 sides at once. With one person you are discussing another friend, and with that - this. It turns out that you quarrel guys even more. Remember that a lie can open very soon, and you will remain on the sidelines.
- Do not reveal secrets. If a friend asks for something to tell about the interlocutor with whom he quarreled and does not at all hint at his state of health, then in any case do not dump all the secrets! Say something simple and unobtrusive.
- Don't say you don't give a damn. If you do not reconcile your friends, then who will do it? That is why you can not prove to friends that you absolutely do not need their friendship, especially if this is not so.
- Do not connect friends indoors. Very often in teen comedies, in order to reconcile friends, it is necessary to close them in one room and leave them for 2-4 hours. In practice, this advice does not work, so warn your friend in advance where you will go, and briefly explain why.
- Tell your friends that if they do not make peace, then you will not communicate with them. Pretty stupid maneuver that will not lead to anything good. You may be able to make friends, but they will only be "friendly" with you. Also, you risk losing friends in general.
Try to reconcile the guys without using these methods. You do not just move the situation, but you can aggravate it.
Conclusion
How to make friends? Peace them, even if they pretend they do not want it. Also, do not invite one friend to another, it is better to connect them at home or in neutral territory. Listen carefully to the interlocutors, ask questions. If you see that friends still do not dare to make peace, then be sure to push them!