Limiting psychological attitudes almost never bring any benefit. They destroy human life, not allowing to take full advantage of all its possibilities. Therefore, to fight them is the task of everyone who would like to be happy.
How are negative attitudes formed?
In order to examine in detail the concept of limiting beliefs, it is first necessary to determine what they are in principle. A person’s firm confidence in something is the rule of life for a person. She does not doubt him and, according to him, does certain things. The theory of limiting beliefs says: the attitude can be transmitted from parents, or from those people whose opinion seems important. A person follows this thesis without subjecting it to critical evaluation. In addition, he can create his own conviction, based on everyday experience, and follow a similar concept already consciously.
In what cases is it a limiting belief? Each moral principle speaks of a specific human experience and serves as a guide for him in the maelstrom of life events. At one point, it can be useful, saving him from trouble. But time passes, the situation changes, and the old belief is no longer valid, loses its relevance. Moreover, it begins to slow down the further development of the personality, negatively affect its psychological, physical and material well-being.
On the negative nature of tangible property
A common example of limited belief is “Money is evil.” It was once useful. For example, in the difficult years of the revolutionary past, when being a rich person was life-threatening and following such a principle could literally become saving for a person. Then this belief was passed on from parents to children, from generation to generation. Throughout Soviet history, it coincided with the principles of survival accepted in society.
But then another historical era came - the time of a market economy. And here this limiting belief was no longer helping a person, but stopping him from surviving. The availability of material wealth and money began to mean the possibility of obtaining education, quality medical services and other benefits. The obsolete moral principle came into conflict with reality and began to limit a person in his abilities.
Is poverty a shame?
Another example of limited beliefs related to finance. It sounds like this: “It is a shame to be poor.” But in reality this idea is far from the truth. A person should be ashamed of those actions or words that harm other people or insult them in any way.
If the individual does nothing wrong, and all his trouble is that he cannot make ends meet in unfavorable economic conditions, then there is absolutely no guilt and no reason for shame.
If such a limiting belief exists, it is imperative to fight it, as it lowers self-esteem. Thus, this destructive principle further deprives a person of the opportunity to believe in his strength and improve his financial condition. Those who are not ashamed of themselves in any circumstances - neither in poverty nor in wealth, overcome life's difficulties more quickly and efficiently, since they do not consider the lack of livelihood something shameful.
Other destructive money installations
The list of limiting beliefs related to finance can be continued:
- “Only criminals drive expensive cars.”
- "All the rich were just very lucky."
- "Money is only misfortune."
- "There is always not enough money."
- “There were no wealthy people in our family, therefore I will always be poor.”
- “Only a person who has a good start can achieve financial security - inheritance from parents, useful contacts, sponsorship of the rich.”
- "To earn large sums, you need to work from morning to night seven days a week."
Common female delusion
The limiting beliefs in our head are connected with a wide variety of areas of life. And many of these destructive ideas are related to personal life. One of the common negative beliefs inherent in women is this: “Men should not be trusted under any circumstances. They only need one thing from women. ”
At one time, in a certain historical period of time, a similar concept could be viable. That woman who adhered to her in her life could avoid unnecessary extramarital affairs, unwanted pregnancies, and condemnation from her family and society. Guided by it, she could successfully marry and maintain her reputation.
But as for the modern lady, who lives in a time of a different social structure and affordable contraception, such a belief can interfere with looking at the opposite sex without prejudice. Guided by such an idea, a woman dooms herself to loneliness with her own hands. Thus, this conviction acquires the nature of a limiting one.
Other negative attitudes in love
Other common limiting beliefs in love that prevent you from being happy are:
- “All men (women) are bad people.” In this definition, various unpleasant words are often inserted in the address of the opposite sex. Women who think so, and in reality, come across some unworthy men. The same sad story is repeated in all relationships with them - exactly until they realize the need to get rid of limiting beliefs.
If a man adheres to such an attitude, then this also negatively affects his personal happiness. Typically, for the stronger sex, such an attitude has the form "All women are mercantile, they only need money from men." If such an attitude extends to a certain part of the population, it is foolish to judge by it about one hundred percent of all women. The presence of such an idea leads to the fact that on his way a man meets precisely such ladies who are not averse to using his wallet.
- "I am not worthy of happiness and love." Girls who have a similar idea in their heads sincerely dream of happiness in their personal lives. But what happens to them when they meet their chosen one? This belief begins to prevent them from building a full-fledged relationship. Such ladies constantly start to disturb and bother something, they torment their partner with suspicions because of their insecurity in the sincerity of the feelings of the chosen one. Often men break off relationships with these girls on their own initiative. But even as long as the relationship lasts, there is no particular joy in them, but only clarifications and scandals.
- "In the present world there is no place for romance and sincerity." Perhaps in our reality there is no place for the romance of the past. But people still experience feelings of enthusiasm, love and inspiration. And modern romance is no worse than the past.
Destructive Career Ideas
The following list of limiting beliefs is directly related to education and professional life:
- “Only higher education is the guarantor of a highly paid position. And I don’t have it - that means I can never find a good job. ”
- “Only true professionals can do anything. Therefore, I need to get three higher educations and defend my doctoral dissertation before starting practical work.
- “Relatives cannot be upset. Therefore, I must go to study at the very institution on which they insist. ”
- “You can try something new only in youth. And at 30 (40, 50, 60) - it's too late. No one needs the old people anywhere. ”
About myself and about life
The following examples of limiting beliefs in our head relate to life in general and to ourselves.
- “I am so from birth. I can’t do anything about myself. ”
- "The standards of beauty are 90 x 60 x 90. But I do not meet them, so I will always be unhappy."
- "Each person is selfish and thinks only of himself."
- “This world is structured this way. Some get everything, others get nothing. ”
- "A man comes into this world to bear his cross (atone for sins, to suffer)."
- "All life is running in a vicious circle."
Negative attitudes that parents inspire children
It often happens that a fully grown person suffers from negative beliefs that affect his life from an early age. The limiting beliefs in our head that were instilled in the early years are the most persistent. After all, they are guided by people for decades, and during this time they are firmly rooted in the unconscious. Examples of such installations are:
- "If you are naughty, no one will be with you."
- "Woe are you my onions ...".
- "Here is a fool, I’m ready to hand out all of my ..."
- "You are exactly the same as your father (your mother)."
Getting rid of destructive ideas
Depending on how severe the negative attitudes are, a person is gradually forced to face their destructive consequences in life. He is content with the small that he has, has no opportunity to develop further. The question naturally arises: how to remove limiting beliefs and make them stop spoiling life?
The first thing you need to learn to do is to note the emergence of destructive thoughts. Whenever the idea of "I can’t" comes to mind, you need to be aware: it is the flip side of the positive attitude of "I can."
Every time it is necessary to imagine the opposite of what the negative idea wants to impose. It is always necessary to understand that a person has a free choice and he should not allow the negative to gain power over himself. Dealing with limiting beliefs is often very long. Some people take years to cope with destructive attitudes that have not left them since childhood and adolescence.
When another negative thought comes to mind, it should be challenged. To do this, it’s useful to ask yourself a few questions:
- Why should things be this way and not otherwise?
- Who said that I can’t achieve my goal? Is this a person I was familiar with in childhood, adolescence, or at a later age?
- What positive belief can I replace this idea with?
Replay the situation
It is sometimes useful to mentally return to the past, once again scroll through the memory of those circumstances that provoked the emergence of a negative belief. For example, if parents called rich people “hucksters,” you can mentally add your opinion to this criticism: “My father considered all rich people to be scammers, but in reality this is not so. Among them there are many who were able to succeed on their own. ”
Or: “My mother considered all men to be deceivers, but in reality things are different - she just was not lucky with this. This does not mean that the same fate awaits me. On the contrary, I will be able to use the wisdom of my mother and not repeat the mistakes that she made. "
Find confirmation of a negative attitude - is it real?
To get rid of a destructive belief, it is useful to try to find objective evidence to support it. For example, the confirmation that only losers make mistakes will be the fact that there is not a single successful person who would not be wrong at least once. Likewise, nowhere is it possible to obtain an official certificate stating that on the entire planet Earth, absolutely all men are deceivers.
The Importance of Visualization
Since getting rid of limiting beliefs means first of all reprogramming the subconscious, in this case you can not do without working with images. The fact is that the unconscious person operates with visual symbols. Logical arguments often turn out to be powerless before him.
Therefore, in order to eradicate negative beliefs, one should resort to positive visualization as often as possible. When thoughts that make you feel uncomfortable emotionally and physically are identified, then you should let them go and begin to visualize what you want.
Method from NLP: Meta-Yes and Meta-No
This simple technology allows you to change negative beliefs into positive ones. It is performed as follows:
- Define the limiting belief that you need to get rid of. Assess its intensity on a scale of 1 to 10.
- Represent his physical image (in the form of a scroll, a poster with a slogan, an object with an inscription).
- Then it is necessary to determine any thing in relation to which only a firm "no" will be said. For example, an offer to sell your immortal soul to dark forces.
- Then you should practice your ability to pronounce this firm refusal (Meta-Net). Words should be pronounced confidently, but without screaming and unnecessary emotions.
- Then they mentally turn to a destructive conviction and begin to drive it away, saying "Meta-Net." This must be done until the image of this belief in the imagination is somewhere far beyond the horizon.
- After this, it is necessary to imagine a situation or a person who will always be told a solid “Yes” (to a child, relative, a pleasant gift).
- Imagine that somewhere beyond the horizon a positive belief has already begun to take shape. With your Meta-Da, you need to start “luring” this positive attitude so that it draws near.
- When it approaches, you should determine the place in your physical body (it doesn’t have to be the head) where you would like to put a positive conviction, and gladly “put” it there.
- After that, an assessment is carried out, checking how many points on a scale from 1 to 10 the old belief is relevant. If you don’t like something, or the conviction is still too strong, repeat steps 5 to 8.
Talking regularly with himself in a positive way and presenting the desired (and not alarming) outcome of events, a person gradually gets rid of destructive attitudes in his head. This process requires considerable courage and time. But its result is a happy and fulfilling life.