Many people who have recently lost a loved one are wondering what to do with his things. In this article we will try to tell you as much as possible when it is possible to give out the things of the deceased and whether it can be done at all.
As people usually do
People in such situations act differently: someone takes them to church or to a shelter immediately after death, someone consults a priest before taking any action, and someone stores and does not give out until until things decay. The latter does not seem quite reasonable, although very natural - relatives want to keep at least something in memory of a departed person, and his things become a symbol, an illusion that nothing happened to him, he just left the house for a short while. However, it is still not recommended to store what belonged to a person, but to find out when after death you can give out the things of the deceased. There is a belief that these things preserve the energy of a person that he possessed during his lifetime. Therefore, most religions (including Orthodoxy) do not recommend the preservation of such objects.
Why you should not preserve the things of the deceased
Now letās clarify whether it is possible to give out the things of the deceased. As we said, storing them is not recommended. The fact is that with the death of a loved one, of course, pain and suffering are associated both with himself and with relatives left alone with themselves. These experiences are mixed up and create powerful negative energy around the deceasedās things, which accumulates over time in the room where they are stored, more and more. This is especially true of everything that came into contact with the body directly, for example, jewelry or jewelry, clothes, and even more bedding. However, one can always take jewelry to the church and ask the priest whether it is possible to wear it. It is likely that he will advise them to be blessed, and after that jewelry can be worn calmly, remembering the deceased and praying for his soul.
By the way, priests say that you can wear a cross that belonged to a previously deceased, despite the fact that there are completely opposite opinions on this. There is a superstition that, putting on the cross of the deceased, a person thereby assumes his lifetime sins, but this is really just a superstition.
Letters and manuscripts
As for letters, manuscripts, diaries, it all depends on the relatives themselves, whether they want to leave the deceased's papers for memory or not. Someone may consider it unethical - to store and, perhaps, to read the texts of even a deceased person, for someone this will be the only thing that he will preserve, and the best memory of the deceased. But if relatives decide to get rid of his papers, in no case should they be thrown into the trash, it would be much better to burn them so that prying eyes could not read them.
However, in general, priests are of the opinion that the memory of a person should not be preserved in things, but in the minds. Therefore, the best answer to the question when it is possible to distribute things after a dead person is: as soon as possible, and at the same time it is not worth leaving a lot of things. A much better solution would be to get rid of them, which we will talk about later.
When can a deceased person be handed out
In the Orthodox tradition, it is believed that the things of the deceased must be handed out before the fortieth day after his death. Therefore, the answer to the question whether it is possible to give out things to a deceased person will be in the affirmative. Relatives have a long time to do this good deed. Therefore, in principle, it does not matter on what day you can give out the things of the deceased. Within forty days after the soul leaves the body, as the Orthodox believe, it goes through ordeals in order to end up in heaven or hell. Therefore, any good work done on earth on her behalf will benefit her. The more relatives will be merciful to those in need, the more God will be merciful to the soul of a departed person. It is assumed that people who received things will remember the deceased and thereby influence where his soul will end up (so you can ask them directly so that they do not forget to remember him).
However, according to another opinion, it is better not to touch things until that fortieth day, since the energy of the deceased is too negative to spread to outsiders. Things can be safely distributed only after this period. In addition, supporters of this position believe that all these forty days the soul is at home, close to loved ones, and it will be trivial for her to watch how quickly her former things are handed out. However, the opinion is rather doubtful.
But the Bible does not say a word about how many days you can give out the things of the deceased, therefore, if you do not listen to what the priests say, you can put anything on this account.
What to do with the room of the deceased
After forty days have passed since the death of a person, a large-scale cleaning is worthwhile in his room. Throw away all objectively unnecessary things, including old furniture, which is completely useless to store, because it is saturated with human suffering. If there is no reason to throw it away, you can sprinkle it with holy water, thereby purifying it. Personal things that relatives decided to keep, it is better to put away for some time in the closet, so as not to stumble on them constantly, each time experiencing pain from loss. We already talked about what day you can give out the things of the deceased. If the deceased was seriously ill before death, it is better to make repairs in the room just in case to clear the space of negative energy, if possible.
How to clean things and the room of the deceased
Along with the question of when it is possible to hand out things to the deceased, relatives are thinking about how to clean those things that they decided to leave. One of the most successful options is sprinkling with holy water. They also say that salt absorbs negativity well, so you can wash things in salt water. In addition, you can alter the things of the deceased, make something new out of them, in a word, give them a new life, and therefore, charge them with new energy.
Where can I put the things of the deceased
There are actually a lot of options. Any memorabilia can be left in the family, something can be handed out to relatives. If we are not talking about family, then first of all things are better to give to those who really need them. If such people are not surrounded, you can give things to the nearest branch of the Red Cross, the nearest church or any collection point for the poor. Now funeral services bureaus are doing this, taking away the things of the deceased and distributing them to the needy in the same way. Worthless clothes can be left in garbage cans or simply burned, the latter is even better. In any case, itās important not to try to squeeze the benefit out of the deceasedās things, but to do good work for others with their help. Otherwise, according to some superstitious personalities, all sorts of punishments and diseases can await you. However, it is not even a matter of punishment: it is simply not too ethical to profit from death. Itās worth adding that there is an unwritten rule - itās better not to give things to the deceased in one hand, but to distribute it among at least several people.
Is it possible to keep things of the deceased
Along with the question, after how many days you can give out the things of the deceased, many are interested in whether they can be left to themselves - there are different opinions on this. Some believe that there is nothing wrong with this, at a time when clothing, especially outerwear, was in short supply, many, even during the life of the deceased, could begin to distribute his things among themselves. Now this situation is rare, but nevertheless, relatives are often inclined to keep some things in their memory, especially very new ones. Another opinion is that doing so with the things of the deceased is a great sin and you absolutely must give out absolutely all the items, including furniture from the room where the person lived shortly before his death.
As for the money of the deceased, this is a separate issue, but almost the same rules apply to it as to other things. It is necessary to separate some amount for alms. And of course, thank the deceased for such an involuntary gift before becoming a full-fledged owner or mistress of funds, regardless of the amount.
When can I give things to a deceased child?
All of the above tips do not apply to children's things. They are categorically not recommended to distribute. Honestly, there are hardly any parents who would agree to accept the things of the deceased child and put them on their own.
In the event of the death of a child, it is best to burn or throw away clothes, it is worth doing the same with toys, in no case giving them to other children so as not to transmit negative energy. And just do not put other parents in an awkward position in which they will not know how to refuse tactfully. In the same way, one should not put things on the youngest child in case the irreparable happened to the older one. However, you can leave a couple of the most significant and favorite toys, but get them only in a minute of intense grief for the baby.
If you yourself find yourself in such a situation that someone gave you things that belonged to a deceased child earlier, pray for his soul, but do not use things and do not even leave them at home. You should not store such things, this can lead to a variety of consequences.
Father's Tips
In Orthodoxy, the answer to the question of when it is possible to distribute the things of the deceased is direct and unequivocal - within forty days after death. In contrast to the pagans, who burned things belonging to a deceased person, together with him on a funeral pyre, in Orthodoxy, with these things, as has already been said, they act in a completely different way. They are distributed as charity for forty days after the death of a person. However, as Orthodox priests say, nothing bad will happen if, for some reason, the relatives did not manage to hand out the deceased's belongings during this period. You can calmly deal with this later, although it is better to meet the forty days, which, according to the Christian tradition, are especially important for the soul of the deceased, whose posthumous fate is decided at this time. Surely to clarify when it is possible to distribute things after the deceased, it is also possible for the priest in the nearest church.
Other religions
In Judaism, for example, it is believed that a personās things can be distributed quite calmly, but this rule does not apply to his shoes. It is believed that one who walks in the shoes of the deceased tramples it underground, so shoes are traditionally disposed of.