When the baby is born, the first cry and a sigh testify to his physical birth. Spiritually, this moment comes on the day of baptism. The ritual of accepting faith has been with us for many generations. The right to be godparent is considered honorable, it indicates a special, warm and trusting relationship between the child’s parents and the recipients. Their duty is to accept the spiritual birth of a person and bear responsibility for the faith of their godson.
The answer to the question of who can be the godparents of a boy or girl is obvious from the point of view of the church. This title is worthy of people who support the Orthodox faith and have come of age. They are charged with introducing the child to spiritual values.
What carries the sacrament of baptism
Baptism is an ancient rite held in the conditions of the Orthodox Church. The main purpose is to cleanse a person of misconduct committed in a past life, so that he can begin his new journey with a “clean slate".
When a baby is brought to the church for the first time in his life, in order to christen him, only the closest people and spiritual guide remain in the holy place . Hence the name "sacrament of baptism."
After the priest says all the prayers and bathes the baby three times with water from the font, the rite is considered completed.
Most of us are baptized in the first months of our lives, and therefore a person does not have information about everything that happens in his memory. People live, develop, build families. At some point in time, a moment comes when a proposal comes in to become the godparent. Or, moreover, a child is born in the family and needs to be christened.
In such a situation, a logical question arises: “Who should be taken as a receiver, and is it possible to refuse to be a godmother?” The answer is not to be found in faith or in the church; it is within ourselves. It is very important to make a healthy assessment of the possibilities of future godparents: will they be able to give the child what you are not able to give, will they love him as a native, and will they not be led astray.
You must also understand that life is very unpredictable, and if the godfather or mother quarrel with the parents of the godson, this should in no way affect their personal relationships and disrupt the spiritual connection.
Spiritual kinship
Godfathers experience no less than parents before the baptism of a child. This, to a greater degree, is associated with the progression of church illiteracy among the modern population. This often leads to a refusal to be a receiver. The main thing here is to understand that being godfather is not scary if you take this step consciously. And conforming to church canons is not necessary. It is possible that this event will turn your inner world and perception upside down, and you will reach for self-education in this regard.
It is important for the church that the chosen godparents will clearly understand: from now on, they are responsible for the child in exactly the same way as it is assigned to biological parents.
When choosing parents for their child, parents should consider that the church is not supportive of receiving the child’s spiritual birth if the couple is married. But at the same time, the husband or wife may be godparents of several children of the same parents.
Godfathers close relatives - is it possible?
Before each baptism of a child, every conscious parent has a difficult question as to how to choose a godmother and godmother for the baby. However, in most cases, the answer to it is on the surface, you just have to go a little deeper into the rules of the church.
In the old days, the circle of relatives was tried to expand as much as possible. This was done in order to increase the number of people who in the future will take care of the child and help him in difficult situations. That is why the invitation to be perceivers to close relatives was received only as an exception. This is due to the fact that in one family everyone cares about each other without that. Again, to increase the family circle, they tried to make sure that the brother and sister had different godfather and mother. But here the limitation is not from the church, but under the influence of human concepts.
The main thing is that the recipient does not forget about his duties, and he does not have a question as to whether it is possible to refuse to be godmother. Having passed the baptismal rite with the child , the parent must feel a spiritual connection with him.
How many children can one baptize
If a person is kind, sociable by nature and loves children, then different families can repeatedly offer him to become a recipient. Involuntarily the question pops up about how many times you can be a godfather and mom?
There are no quantitative restrictions on the part of the church, and you can voluntarily be the spiritual parents of several children. However, it is very important that the godfather be aware of the importance of this ritual and understand the full responsibility that rests with him. The spiritual parent is a holy example for the godson. Not fulfilling his duties, he will answer not to the parents of the child, but to God. Throughout life, the recipient must take care and protect his godchildren, no matter how much they have.
There is a rumor among the people that a woman who has baptized one child and wished to become a recipient for another, removes the cross from her first child. Fortunately, this is only a myth and the church has its own opinion.
Repeated baptism is like a second birth for a biological mother who will never abandon her first baby if she gives birth to one or more children. The godmother bears equal responsibility for her godchildren, and having become related in the church with several children even from different parents, she will not be able to forget any of them.
Parents should think carefully about who will cope with this role, because among young people often have questions about whether you can refuse to be a godmother, while already having passed the rite.
How to choose godparents for daughter
Choosing a godmother for a girl has always been more problematic than for a boy. Often the girlfriends of the mother of the child wonder if it is possible to refuse to be the godparent if the girl had not baptized the boy before. This is another popular myth, which states that the godmother of the girl, who assumed these obligations for the first time and did not baptize the boy for the first time, will certainly remain a loner, and the godmother “will take her beauty and good fortune”.
This error has no Christian justification, but is exclusively a superstition to which it is sinful to submit. The godmother for a girl should be a convinced Orthodox Christian. Another interesting point that not many parents know about is that the girl must have a recipient, and a ceremony without a godfather is allowed.
Choosing a receiver for a son
It is also worth understanding who can be godparents in a boy. Here, just as in the case of the girl, there are no rules and restrictions. The godfather must understand what responsibility he bears for the child and that he will need to maintain a spiritual connection with him all his life.
What is the responsibility of the receivers
It’s hard to realize that not every person understands what the godmother and dad are for, and why their new and such responsible life role is called that. The maximum that limits the participation of godparents in the life of a child is visits on a birthday and angel's day and giving gifts. This, of course, is wonderful, but from the spiritual side everything is much deeper.
The duties of the godfather are in prayer for the son. At least once a day, the recipient must ask God for his godson. Nothing special, exactly what you need to do for your children: ask for health and well-being, salvation and help. When wondering who the godparents of a boy and a girl can be, answer if any of your close friends can love your child the way you do. And only then it will be possible to decide.
The godmother has the same responsibilities for the baptism of the child as the father. She should help the biological mother, say prayers for the godson, go to church with him on holidays and develop spiritually.
Preparing for a baby baptism
The main point is that the chosen godparents must come to church to baptize a child with consecrated crosses. The godmother must be in the temple only with his head covered. Clothing with pants should be avoided. Dress or skirt should be below the knee and shoulders closed.
The sacrament of baptism is a long rite that can last up to two hours, so shoes need to be stable, on low speed and without heels. At all times, the receiver will have to hold the baby in her arms.
It is enough for a man to put on a formal suit or trousers with a shirt.
All that is required for the ceremony: towels, candles, an icon - can be purchased at the church. Only a cross and clothes should be prepared with a child.
The church is a place where you should refrain from attracting attention, so be modest in dress and behavior.
Common Gifts for Godchildren
Modern traditions regarding baptism are not much different from the ancient ones. Just as before, it is customary to give the child a body cross - this is the responsibility of the godfather, and the godmother gives clothes. This is for the baptism of a boy.
If a girl is baptized, then the rules are the same, just the opposite. Now the gifts are purchased by the parents of the child, but it is desirable that the godparents give some kind of commemorative gift.
A very long time ago it was customary to give a baby a silver spoon. Her perceivers presented as a gift when the child had the first tooth.
It is believed that it is from this spoon that you should begin to introduce complementary foods. This tradition has been preserved to this day.
Can I become a pregnant woman
There are no prohibitions for a pregnant godmother to take part in the ceremony. The church cannot prevent a woman from being baptized in a position. The only thing that can prevent this is the physical condition of the pregnant woman, but if she is sure that she can stand 2 hours with the child in her arms in a standing position, then it is possible. The main thing is the realization that soon mother will have not only her own born child, but also a spiritual godson.
Who is forbidden to become a church receiver
According to the laws, there are a number of restrictions, falling under which, a person does not have the right to take part in the sacrament of baptism:
- godparents of a different, non-Christian faith - Buddhists, atheists, Catholics, Muslims and others, even if they are the closest friends of the family;
- if the child wants to be baptized by parents connected by marriage or family relationships;
- insane people are not allowed to the ceremony;
- if the parents were not baptized;
- if there is no desire to become a receptor;
- biological parents cannot baptize their own child;
- minors
- It is forbidden to baptize the stepmothers and stepfathers of their stepdaughters and stepsons;
- if a woman has critical days, entry to the church is prohibited;
- monks and priests.
In the latter case, the exception is the situation if the priest is the godfather of a monk or a person belonging to the church.
Is there a need to be married to become godfather
Another popular myth is that at least one of the godparents must be married. This belief is fundamentally wrong. But at the same time, parents should understand that a married man or a married woman is more responsible and experienced people, respectively, they clearly understand what responsibilities they have.
Being receptors is very responsible and honorable. The godmother entrusts herself with the baptism of the girl the same responsibilities as the father who baptized the boy took upon himself.
What to do if the godfather forgot about his mission
Unfortunately, it happens that the perpetrators forget about the responsibility that they assumed at the time of the baptism of the child. The duties of the godfather include the upbringing, care and spiritual development of the baby.
If the parents made the wrong choice and turned out to be a careless person, then the blame for this lies only with them. In such a situation, they should do what the receiver should have done and bring the child to the church.
Is it possible to refuse or change godparents
The sacrament of baptism is a rite that is performed once in a lifetime, and no one can baptize a child. It does not matter how much the biological or godparents of the child or he himself sinned. What was done before Bor cannot be changed in a holy place.
Depending on the life situation, an already matured child can make his own choices, communicate with godparents who have sinned, changed their faith, or not. If the recipients assumed this responsibility, but failed to fulfill their obligations, betrayed the godson, God would have to answer for it.
In this case, we can say that the spiritual union concluded between parents and the child in infancy is destroyed.
Parents of the child must clearly understand and be confident in the choice of godparents as well as in themselves, because this is not a tribute to fashion, but a great sacrament that a person performs in the church only once.