In the period of the formation of personality, I really want to see an example to follow. This is absolutely logical - any person wants to have an authoritative image until you become holistic and fully formed. What if a teenager chooses for himself not a good example? What to do when an adult needs such an idol? Than good and bad imitation? These are all and other questions we will consider in this post.
Imitation in childhood
If you have children, or you could watch the children of relatives or friends, then you probably noticed that often the baby wants to "be like everyone else."
Such imitation is a normal children's reaction to the world during the period of growing up, when peers act as a model of appearance and behavior. Do not limit the child in his desire to be like other guys, on the contrary, any prohibitions will cause misunderstanding.
Adolescent Imitation
The most acute role model question arises in the puberty. This is the time when boys and girls are already identifying themselves, but as individuals remain immature. It is wonderful if older brothers or sisters, parents become authority. But you need to understand that the child is constantly in the social environment, and there will definitely be those at school who look and behave “cool”. For boys, these are guys who neglect teachers and lessons, drink alcohol and smoke. For girls, a role model is most often girls with a bright appearance with the help of cosmetics, dressing in open and sexy outfits and enjoying success with guys. If your exemplary daughter suddenly completely changed her wardrobe to an inappropriate one, in your opinion, she has new, older than her, boyfriends - do not panic. But also to step aside is also not worth it.
How to explain what is good and what is bad
Children are sensitive to the advice of those whom they respect. If you yourself smoke and use foul language, but forbid your child to do the same, then do not expect implicit obedience. Moreover, be sure that they will not listen to you. If you consider yourself a good example for your child, you can from time to time conduct confidential conversations. But in no case do not read the notations and do not be those whom the child considers to be a boring bruise. Your preaching should be elegantly disguised. For example, these may be stories from personal experience or the experience of your friends.
Something like this: “There was a girl in our class who looked very much like your Tanya. She was just the same, she was friends with the older children. And now, in the tenth grade, she got pregnant from whom, she gave birth, but did not receive an education. I saw her recently, she works with us on the market as a saleswoman, looks awful. " Do not draw further conclusions, such as "you see, you will continue to follow her, it is still unknown what will happen to you", otherwise the child will instantly bite you. On the contrary, leave the story incomplete, let your child summarize your “report” and make for himself what is good and what is not good.
When imitate adults
Many believe that intentional imitation is the prerogative of children or adolescents. No matter how! The most imitators are "adults", that is, those who are over twenty and before .. The fact is that an undecided child is normal. But a puberty must certainly understand who he is! Not so simple. In the process of development, each of us in any case needs an example. If it was unsuccessful, we will realize this over time, since life will not be formed according to our idea, and the easiest way to change it will change ourselves. Again, the question arises of seeking an example, and then imitation of others becomes the answer. We unknowingly select someone we know who seems successful, attractive, holistic, and also unconsciously begin to copy his style and lifestyle, from minor habits and gait to appearance.
All other roles are occupied.
Imitation is an opportunity to feel confident in a world where there are no rules of life. What parents told us in childhood, teachers, is refuted by our own experience of life. We listen to the advice of others, we can’t do without it, but still our life is not like anyone else's. All our good luck, failures, happy days and the darkest of them are the result of our behavior, and no one else. While you look at others and are looking for a worthy role model, your life, and not that of another person, passes by. The only true thing that remains is to be yourself. However, as far as this is true, it is so difficult.
The hardest and easiest thing is being yourself
Why is it difficult to be? The fact is that then you will have to be fully responsible for all your actions. When you imitate others, intentionally or not, you shift part of the responsibility to these authorities. If something goes wrong in life, you can always tell yourself in comfort: "It's all because I took the example from the wrong person." Meanwhile, it is possible to be considered a formed personality only if you are ready to be responsible for all your actions. It turns out that in adulthood imitation is a way to evade responsibility, and nothing more.