Loneliness is a feeling that crushes, weighs and kills all desire to continue to live. There are many reasons for this condition, but the result is always the same - a person is certainly unhappy. If this feeling lasts for a long time, then there is a high probability of health problems. That is why it is not worth brushing off the experiences that arise about this. The problem should be resolved urgently so that it does not continue to exert its negative influence.
Danger of loneliness
If a person has no close people, then he will certainly suffer from this. Moreover, as a rule, he plunges into his experiences almost completely. With greater power, a feeling of loneliness comes at a time when such a person sees people who are at ease communicating with each other.
He also feels very uncomfortable in a situation where for the most part there are couples around him - love or friendships. After all, spouses or close friends are interconnected by deep relationships that a lonely person does not have. Over time, longing more and more corrodes his soul. As a result, a lonely person can fall into a deep depression, which can be compared with a spring - the longer and harder it is to compress, the more painfully it can then “shoot”. If such a condition drags on for a long time, then it threatens a terrible disaster. No wonder lonely people are more suicidal than anyone else.
How to survive loneliness, is it possible? Let's try to understand this issue.
Definition of a concept
What is loneliness? This is a condition in which a person feels empty and isolated. He realizes that no one needs, and there are no people who would need him and his society. On the one hand, this is correct. However, the situations are different. So, in certain cases, loneliness is a person’s choice in a particular situation. At the same time, even being among people, he feels isolated from them. When does this happen? Then, when a person is not able to establish contact with others and considers self-isolation the only way out for himself. Obviously, the question of how to survive loneliness is not for such people at all. After all, such privacy serves as a certain protection mechanism for them, while creating a certain comfort zone.
Loneliness can take many forms. So, some people feel it in communication with specific interlocutors. Men and women consider themselves lonely until they meet their love. Those who are overtaken by depression, a feeling of increased anxiety and other painful conditions also suffer from isolation.
Thus, the concept of loneliness is very multifaceted. Moreover, each person feels it differently. However, there is one thing in common that unites different types of this feeling. It consists in the lack of communication either with a specific person or with other people.
In connection with the versatility of the concept, the question of how to survive loneliness and get rid of it is far from clear. There is no single “medicine” to solve the problem. And this can be understood. After all, the loneliness of a woman who recently lost her husband cannot be compared with the feeling of isolation experienced by a sick boy who cannot play football with his friends. Different problems will require different approaches to solve.
How to return the joy of life?
How to survive loneliness and get rid of this negative and oppressive feeling? The approach to solving this problem may have differences depending on the nature and worldview of a person. For example, some people eliminate their sense of isolation by taking an active stance. They focus on finding the source of the problem and eliminate the very cause of their feelings. At the same time, they use a kind of active survival strategy, doing what they love, listening to music and performing physical exercises. Such a move allows them to use time positively and escape from loneliness.
And sometimes a person begins to realize that there are no people around him who would think the same way he did. This is precisely what leads to the rejection of communication and new unfamiliar situations. However, those who want to get rid of loneliness need not to do as usual. You need to get up and walk towards the light. And this will need to be done even if there is a great desire to sit and cry in the dark.
Female loneliness
Representatives of the fairer sex are often tormented by the following question: "I have no one, how to survive loneliness?" Before addressing this problem, it is necessary to understand the cause of it. The main ones are:
- Shyness. In earlier times, it was believed that a girl should be modest. According to this view, girls were brought up in the family. However, it is worth remembering that excessive modesty does not contribute to communication.
- Waiting for a prince on a white horse. The ideal that is created in the mind of a woman is unlikely to meet her in reality. High demands on men result in loneliness.
- Inaccessibility. Being smart, sociable and beautiful, an overly serious lady will scare away any man. They are simply afraid to talk to her.
- Infantilism. Often, women believe that a man in their life will appear by itself. However, without taking any action, you can be left without a life partner.
- Heavy character. Any relationship cannot be built without compromise. It is unlikely that a man will get along with a woman who is not able to make concessions.
- Passion for work. Do not forget that a woman should be, first of all, a wife and mother. That is why careerists have such a great chance of loneliness.
- Overstated requirements. Many women want to see a successful and handsome man in the role of their spouse, who is also distinguished by generosity and wisdom. But such representatives of the stronger sex choose for themselves as a wife, as a rule, models or famous actresses. Ordinary girls are not interested in them.
- Fear. If a woman was once offended by her lover, then due to the consequences of the trauma inflicted on her, she begins to fear a new relationship. Girls who experience loneliness for this reason are encouraged to seek the help of a psychologist.
- Complexity. Sometimes women consider themselves ugly due to short stature, wide hips or small breasts. However, it should be borne in mind that others, as a rule, do not pay attention to it at all. How to survive the loneliness of a woman in this case? Emancipate and begin to communicate freely with others.
- Fear of responsibility. Creating a family is a serious step. Many women are afraid of him. They are afraid of losing independence and freedom. How to survive the loneliness of a woman at 30, when she has already managed to get used to an independent life? Do not be afraid to take responsibility and change your worldview.
Loneliness after breaking up
Many of those who survived separation from their loved one experience only a short-term disorder of a sub-depressive nature. It is accompanied by a slight decrease in performance, whining mood, a little depression and a feeling of desolation. However, such a spleen most often goes away on its own and does not cause any serious consequences. But how to survive loneliness after a divorce, if a person has symptoms of clinical depression? It is worth noting that a similar phenomenon, as a rule, can be observed in those women from whom the beloved man has left. Psychologists say that if a person gets stuck in a past relationship, then he will not be able to adequately assess the situation in which he finds himself, and look with optimism into the future, draw conclusions and start a new life.
How to survive depression from loneliness for men and women who are not capable after elimination of self-elimination of aggression and negative emotions arising from their former partner? In this case, the help of a qualified specialist is indispensable. In severe disorder, an integrated approach using psychotherapeutic techniques and the use of antidepressants will be required. And only after a person manages to cope with the acute stage of depression, he can continue to fight it on his own, being under the supervision of specialists. With the help of an experienced psychologist, the patient will have to fully realize everything that happened and accept the care of the girl, boyfriend, husband or wife.
Consider the specific steps, having passed which, you can approach the elimination of feelings of loneliness. Those techniques, which will be described below, are quite effective. However, they can act on different people in different ways. Nevertheless, by performing all these actions, you can achieve a significant improvement in your condition.
Analysis of the situation
How to survive the loneliness of a man or woman? In order to get out of this condition as soon as possible, it is necessary to analyze the problems and causes that caused it. To begin with, a person can write down everything that, in his opinion, contributed to the emergence of loneliness. After compiling such a list, each of its items should be re-read and analyzed again.
If at first it would be difficult to treat such records with an open mind, then you should assume for yourself that this list was compiled by another person. Those who regularly analyze their thoughts and actions will soon become aware of the fact that loneliness deprives him of many opportunities. Such awareness forces a person to see and fill the resulting void.
Expansion of the circle of communication
How to survive the loneliness of a woman at 30? At this age, many women complain that they are not able to find people who would understand them. A similar thing can happen with those ladies who already have a certain life experience.
Sometimes a woman by solitude expresses a silent protest against her environment and society. However, do not lock yourself in. Thirty years old, as well as those who do not know how to survive a woman’s loneliness after 40 years, and representatives of other age categories, psychologists recommend expanding their circle of communication. The larger it is, the easier it is to solve the problem of finding like-minded people. After all, finding them is much simpler among, say, hundreds of people than among one dozen. In this case, a lonely person has a chance to acquire new habits. And this will give him opportunities for personal growth and acquaintance with those people whose aspirations and views coincide with his life position.
Acquaintance of others with the problem
How to survive the loneliness of a woman after 50, if she believes that her life is almost over, and there can be no talk of any future? Psychologists advise to reconsider their attitude to the problem and seek help from friends or relatives. By the way, women who have not yet reached this milestone in life can heed such a recommendation. Do not be silent about your true feelings. People close to you should know about them. This is the only way to get rid of loneliness. However, it should be borne in mind that it is recommended to talk about the existing problem not with a fellow traveler in the next seat on the bus, but with the person who can be trusted with the most secret. If there are no such people in the immediate environment, then a specialist will come to the rescue.
Test of the new
As you know, nature "takes away" from man that which, she believes, he no longer needs. For example, if you do not walk for a long time, then your knees will not bend over time. The same thing happens with communication. If a person clogs into his dark corner and stays in it for a long time, then he may completely lose contact skills. How to prevent this? You will need to plan your day so that as much communication as possible is present.
At the same time, one should not be afraid to meet people on the street, become one of the members of a hobby club, go to study courses or purchase a subscription to the pool. The list of options is simply huge. Most importantly, the new business that a person will do is to his liking. Only in this case will he be able to get acquainted with people unlike him, which will be a wonderful life experience.
Fill the world with kindness
How to cope with loneliness and regain the joy of life? If the reason for this condition was the lack of support, misunderstanding and indifference of people around, then psychologists recommend joining the movement of volunteers involved in conducting actions and kindness lessons, planting trees, putting out fires, collecting garbage, helping our homeless brothers, people with disabilities and those who have encountered serious illnesses.
Such communities, the kindness of whose members go to all those in need and destitute, are in any city. You can find them using social networks. By joining such a movement, a person will immediately realize that he is very important and needed by those who need his help.
Get a pet
Animals will help save a person from loneliness, especially those that were picked up on the street or taken from a shelter. For example, a cat is able to give so much warmth and love that it will certainly heal all the emotional wounds of its owner. The dog, in addition, will teach a person to a healthy lifestyle. In addition, she will give a chance to meet the same animal lovers. Among dog breeders, there may well be a person who in the future will become a reliable life partner, if there isn’t one yet.