Life is a complicated thing. Sometimes it is difficult to understand your feelings, because it is not always clear why they arise and how to get rid of them. And sometimes it happens that relationships with others do not go well. How to stop hating people? Look for answers below.
What is hate?
A person has many negative feelings. Hatred is one of them. But what is she like? Hatred is a feeling that arises in a person as a response to the behavior or personal qualities of others. Why does it arise? Most often, hatred settles in the soul when others do not live up to expectations. But it also happens that a treacherous feeling creeps in with absolutely no apparent reason. It could provoke a trifle.
How is hatred manifested?
All people are different. They are distinguished by upbringing, worldview and outlook on life. And it’s not always possible to find a common language. In such situations, hatred creeps into the soul. How does it manifest? Most often in anger and aggression. A person begins to scream, swear, and sometimes to do things, which he later regrets. Revenge is one of the most common manifestations of hatred. A person can inadvertently do very obscene things, such as falsifying documents, coaxing other people, and even intentionally spoiling life.
How to stop hating people? This is a difficult task. After all, hatred is a multifaceted feeling, and it is not easy to overcome it in yourself. If a person is well-educated, then at least outwardly he will remain calm. After all, screaming and swearing had never helped solve problems. It is not difficult to remove the external symptoms of hate manifestations; self-control exercises will help here. But do not limit yourself to eliminating the consequences, you always need to get to the bottom of the reason.
To whom do people hate
A person never experiences strong feelings for no reason. Indeed, in order to hate someone, you need a good reason. Most often, close people hurt the soul. So they are chosen as objects of hatred. Men and women can hate their former lovers. And it would seem strange that yesterday's subject of adoration today is disgusting. But this happens all the time. People converge on the basis of closeness of spirit, but disagree because of a misunderstanding or because they cannot fulfill their obligations.
Close relatives are often the subject of hatred. Children may have conflicting feelings for their parents. Why is this happening? Because the parents did not give the child love, tenderness and affection. Or maybe the child wanted to get an education in the field of economics, but they decided for him that it was better to go to study as a doctor. Brothers may hate their sisters for receiving too much love. Simple jealousy sometimes destroys families forever.
Colleagues, too, often do not differ in restraint of feelings. They hate a successful young man who in a year was able to climb the career ladder higher than they are in ten years.
How to stop hating people? It is worth accepting that everyone has their own ambitions, characters and outlooks on life. No need to try to remake others. Easier to reconsider your own views. In each case, you need to ask yourself a simple question: why? Why do you hate this person? And if you look deeper into the soul, the answer is sure to be found.
Self-hatred
People often wind themselves. There are individuals who practice this on an ongoing basis. And, as a result, they have self-hatred. It is impossible to get rid of this feeling without understanding its true cause. Why does man hate himself? Because in his eyes he seems to himself miserable and insignificant. But this is unnatural. Most likely, these thoughts were inspired by others. After all, a person with low self-esteem is easy to manage.
People can hate themselves for failure. In life there are not only white, but also black stripes. In such periods, everything falls out of hand and nothing can be done. It can all start with a trifle, for example with burnt fried eggs or escaped coffee. Further, a person who is discouraged may disgrace himself at a meeting or, due to forgetfulness, not deliver the project on time. After that, the authorities will necessarily reprimand. In this situation, if a person does not pull himself together, he will scold himself for weakness, laziness and irresponsibility.
You can hate yourself for actions. Each of us has done things that are embarrassing to remember. For example, a person could play a joke on a friend or commit an inappropriate act. Repentance follows this act, and if there is no one to pour it out, people begin to hate themselves. After all, this is easier to do than accept the situation as it is.
Hatred for loved ones
It's always hard to part. It is impossible to get used to or develop immunity. Each time will be like the first. Why do lovers after parting begin to hate
each other? Popular wisdom says that from love to hate is one step. And it is true. The fact is that lovers cannot sincerely admit to each other that they are annoyed or not happy. In this way, grievances accumulate. They find a way out in disagreements. When lovers quarrel, they can hurt each other painfully with caustic remarks, which under other circumstances would not sound so offensive. Soon, people make peace, but resentment does not go away. It accumulates in the shower and will certainly come up at the next quarrel. Soon, a man begins to hate his soul mate. Therefore, people disagree. Mutual resentment and reproach at the same time pour.
How to stop hating the person who offended you? You need to understand his point of view. People always know the reason for their actions, just sometimes it is not obvious. You need to put yourself in the shoes of the abuser and think about why he treated you badly. And believe me, if you think about it well, you can find many reasons.
The opinion of experts
But what do psychologists say about hatred? Experts say this is an innate feeling. After all, without him, people would not really understand what love is. After all, it is by contrasting one feeling with another that a person can value his surroundings. But if hatred is innate, then why fight it? But laziness is, as you know, born before man. The fact is that whatever feeling is good or bad, it needs to be realized and controlled. People live in society, and they need to be able to comply with its laws.
How to stop hating the person who betrayed you? Psychologists unanimously agree that it is necessary to forgive. Complicated? Yes, but hate will bring nothing good to anyone. But the fact of betrayal is already impossible to change. Therefore, you need to accept and let go of the situation. Well, yes, it was, but now you’re better at understanding people and do not let a person who does not deserve your trust.
Is anger and hatred the same thing?
Not all people can be aware of the feelings they experience. Therefore, hatred is often confused with anger. And some even consider these concepts synonymous. Is it so? No. After all, anger is a feeling that a person experiences in a particular situation. For example, a friend made a bad joke on you. What will you do? Get angry. But you don’t hate a person for having a bad sense of humor. If a friend is intelligent, then he will not play a joke anymore. Hatred builds up. A single case is not enough for it to originate in the soul. A person needs to make a mistake at least three times so that you can sincerely hate him.
How to behave with people you hate?
Do not show your feelings in public. It is ugly and will not benefit anyone. Therefore, the person you hate should be treated like a distant acquaintance. You need to greet him and maintain a normal conversation. Calmness is a trait of kings. Why does the object of your hatred know that it is not indifferent to you? Right, no reason. Try not to express your hostility, but rather to overcome it in your heart altogether.
How to stop hating people? It is necessary in each case to learn to put yourself in a strange place. If this doesn’t work, try mentally “go to the balcony”. What does it mean? It is necessary to step back from the situation and look at it from the side.
How to stop hating a person
You need to understand that if you have strong feelings for someone, it means that you are not indifferent to the person. Most likely, you cannot come to terms with some quality or act. What to do if you hate a person? You need to understand the reason. If you do not like his activity in a business partner, you may be jealous of him and worry that he invests more in the business than you do. Talk to a friend and explain your feelings to him. Next time, he will entrust you to hold an important conference or go to a meeting with customers. Do you hate your lover because he maintains a warm relationship with his ex-girlfriend? Perhaps she is beautiful, smart and purposeful, and you are simply afraid to lose her boyfriend.
How to stop thinking about the person you hate? Need to get distracted. After you forgive a person, you need to switch thoughts in a different direction. You should go to the cinema, to the rink or to a cafe with friends.
When analyzing tips and opinions on how to stop hating yourself, you should definitely mention the fact of raising self-esteem. Only weak people can take offense at themselves and others. Strong personalities do not hold hatred on anyone. After all, it makes no sense to accumulate resentment, which will subsequently poison the soul.
How to stop hating all people
It seems unbelievable that an absolutely normal person can get angry with the whole world? But this happened to everyone. You can be late for an important meeting, and on the road as luck would have it, some traffic jams. When you nevertheless got to the office and decided that it was faster to reach the 10th floor by elevator, the lifting mechanism crashed. Well, of course, when you come to a meeting after such troubles, you will begin to hate the whole world. Although, in fact, no one is to blame for failure. How to stop hating the people around you in such a situation? It is worth understanding that everything always happens for the better. Perhaps your delay made it possible for a partner who did the job very well. It should be understood that people cannot influence some events. In these situations, you need to relax and come to terms, because there is nothing left, so why bother nerves yourself?
How to stop hating others if people annoy with their stupidity? You need to understand that each person is a specialist in his field. And if you are a programmer, you do not need to wait from others for amazing insight in the simulation of computer games. You, too, are not fluent in 10 languages, and your knowledge of economics and jurisprudence leaves much to be desired, but it does not annoy your friends. Treat people with respect.