Honesty is the foundation of all human connections. No one will drive a car, walk along the sidewalk, take a train or plane, unless we are convinced that other people are serious about their duties. Culture, civilization and society depend on such a belief. But what causes the problems of a person who is distrustful of everything? And why does a crack arise, protecting people from each other?
Where do the problems with faith in people come from?
Relations can develop over the years, but a familiar relationship can be destroyed in an instant. A very distrustful person in the past often came across negative experiences of communication, whether they are people or organizations that are disposed to themselves. Psychological research proves that children of divorced parents and those who have experienced insults to their personality at home will show more suspicion, discretion and insecurity in new relationships in the future.
Problems sometimes arise due to negative interactions in early childhood, but can also be formed due to social rejection in adolescence, the traumatic experience of an adult, betrayal of friendship or love.
There are situations when a person loses significant financial resources or notices acute injustice on the part of authoritative persons, therefore he is further suspicious of questions of the competence of management institutions. For example, the fragile state of the national economy has led many citizens to lose confidence in the integrity of the banking system and government organizations.
One way or another, an unpleasant experience can haunt an incredulous person throughout the next life.
The main signs: how to understand that I have problems?
Every day people make a choice who to believe and who not. Some are more disposed to themselves, opening almost immediately, while others arouse suspicion of good intentions. And this is correct, since absolute honesty would become a new topic for high-profile debate. But a value judgment does not always live up to expectations.
Signs of an incredulous person include the following:
- Lack of intimacy or friendships.
- Dramatic and violent reactions to everyday things.
- Suspicion or concern for friends and family.
- Uncertainty in the interlocutor.
- Conviction that others will necessarily cheat or betray without good reason.
- Immediate termination of contacts in the presence of flaws or lies.
Psychological issues and general beliefs
So why are people incredulous? The fact is that a protective mechanism is triggered on a situation of betrayal or failure. In the future, this can lead to anxiety, anger, or lowered self-esteem.
A person becomes a hostage of beliefs and is not able to get rid of them:
- "If I open, it will hurt again."
- "Everyone wants to get me."
- "I should not show real feelings."
People with the above thoughts create a social barrier, trying to protect the emotional side from any conflicts, building a wall between themselves and the world. Often, such protection is a way to avoid pain, parting, or guilt.
A belief system overshadowed by violations of trust can significantly burden both mentally and physically. Overwhelming anxiety and stress easily become everyday companions. Fortunately, shackles do not have to stay forever.
How to regain trust?
Before you begin to deal with the situation, you must recognize that the problem is real and exists. Honesty is the first step to change. Do not lie to yourself.
An incredulous person can turn to a qualified specialist who will individually understand the problem. There are group therapies that make it possible to share joint experiences with community members and build an honest dialogue.
True, the financial side of the issue does not always allow you to professionally solve the situation, therefore it is recommended to follow simple tips.
Four common principles for increasing faith in people
- Do not stop analyzing. The first key to overcoming problems is to identify the source that caused an obstacle to communication with others. You should stop and think about what happened in the situation, remember the details, consider them objectively from different angles and highlight the errors. Remember that being honest with yourself is important.
- Rewrite your story. An incredulous person can easily build a wall of suspicion and itβs difficult to maintain the belief that not everyone wants to hurt. Instead of getting angry or becoming a victim of other people's actions, try to extract valuable experience from the situation.
- Accept the vulnerability. Man's innate ability is to love and trust others. No one is born with the goal of fear and shielding from the rest. Only life-long experience teaches us to be afraid. You should understand the difference: it is dangerous in a burning building, walk along the roadway, and not talk with other people. You are a living person.
- Heal a wounded heart. If you encounter distrust due to the harsh treatment of peers, a loved one or parents, then in this case it is recommended to ask the help of a specialist to begin careful work on yourself. Sometimes, in order to talk with a psychologist, it takes a lot of determination, because you are going to believe a stranger. Undoubtedly, the first step is always difficult, but it will help get rid of despair and a heavy burden.
Distrust is formed in connection with many factors, but it is possible to deal with it. Reveal a wound, apply the right medicine and learn to open your heart again. Start life anew.