In Islam, it is believed that married life should be filled with mercy, compassion and tranquility. Marriage is a great blessing. Each partner in the marriage has certain rights and obligations that must be performed in the interests of the family.
Divorce (Talak) in Islam is allowed as a last resort in the event that it is impossible to keep the marriage. This procedure involves a number of specific steps that exhaust all possible options and ensure fair treatment for each of the parties.
Why are Muslims getting divorced?
The reasons for the divorce in Islam can be very different. There are real situations where the only option is divorce. These good reasons include:
- Physical, mental or emotional abuse. When one of the spouses behaves insultingly, causes physical, mental or emotional suffering and does not want to change, taking practical measures through therapy or counseling, then this is considered a real reason for divorce, because, according to the Islamic principle, no one should be harmed in the family. Injustice in Islam is not allowed.
- Failure to comply with the goals and objectives for which they entered into marriage. This can be a complete incompatibility between partners, which can be expressed by their irreconcilable differences in temperaments, likes and dislikes.
- Infidelity. This can be the main reason for divorce, as it should be based on trust. Its main goal is to preserve the chastity and modesty of the parties involved. Once this foundation of marriage is undermined and there is no way to restore it, then divorce becomes the only option.
- The husband’s inability to provide for his family. When a man who must provide for and support his family does not fulfill his duties, and the wife decides that she cannot continue to tolerate his evasion of responsibility, this is the basis for a divorce.
Any of the above reasons can be considered as a justifiable reason for divorce in Islam. If the husband refuses to divorce his wife in a legal case justifying the divorce, then she is certainly justified by Islamic law, which allows you to contact the relevant legal authorities: the decision on divorce, which is thus provided by the authorities, can be considered valid.
Assessing the situation and finding a compromise
When the marriage is in danger, spouses are advised to use all possible means to restore the relationship. Divorce is allowed as a last but undesirable option. The Prophet Muhammad once said: "Of all the legitimate things, divorce is the most hated for Allah."
For this reason, the first step a couple should take is to evaluate the relationship and attempt to reconcile. You should look at your own needs and shortcomings, think about the consequences. At this point, the help of a neutral Islamic adviser may be helpful.
If, after a careful assessment of the marriage, it is found that there is no choice but to divorce, the couple can move on to the next step: pronouncing the words of divorce in Islam.
Arbitration
The Qur'an says:
“If there is a quarrel between spouses and you are afraid of a break, then call a judge from your relatives and a judge from her relatives who want to reconcile them, and then Allah will help them to reach a good solution for a married couple: to continue a peaceful married life or a peaceful, good break "(Surah An-Nisa 4:35)
Marriage and possible divorce attract more people than two spouses. This affects children, parents and entire families. Before deciding on a divorce, it would be fair to involve family elders in an attempt at reconciliation. Family members know each side personally, including their strengths and weaknesses. If they approach the task sincerely and responsibly, they can help couples solve their problems.
Some couples do not want to involve family members in their difficulties. However, the fact that divorce will affect both their relationships with grandchildren, nieces, nephews, etc., and the responsibilities of other relatives that they will encounter, helping each spouse to build an independent life, should be taken into account. Thus, the family, one way or another, will participate in this process.
Independent arbiter
Some couples are looking for an alternative by inviting an independent marriage consultant as an arbitrator. While a consultant can play an important role in reconciliation, this person is naturally detached and without personal involvement. Family members have a personal interest in the results and may be more likely to compromise.
If this attempt fails after all efforts, it will be recognized that divorce is the only option. The pair moves on to the next step. Actual filing procedures for divorce depend on whether the action is initiated by the husband or wife.
Filing for divorce
When a divorce is initiated by the husband, he is called talak (in Islam it is translated as "divorce"). The formal beginning of the process begins with certain words. The husband says "you are divorced," "I am divorcing you." The husband can pronounce or write these words of divorce in Islam. Talak is pronounced only once, that is, one divorce is given. If the husband pronounces 3 talakas in Islam in a row, he will give three divorces at once. As the husband seeks to terminate the marriage contract, the wife has every right to keep the dowry (mahr).
Islam-based divorce
If the wife begins a divorce, there are two options. In the first case, the wife must pay her husband compensation in order to break off the marriage. This is called a hula: the wife files for divorce not because the husband is not fulfilling his duties, but because, due to loss of feelings, he does not want to continue the relationship with him. Divorce proceedings can begin either with the consent of the husband, or with a court order.
In the second case, the wife may choose a judge’s decision on divorce for a specific reason. She must prove that her husband is not fulfilling his duties. The judge decides on the basis of the facts of the case and the law of the country.
Legal subtleties
Depending on where the spouses live, a separate legal divorce process may be required. This usually involves filing a petition with a local court, monitoring the waiting period, attending a hearing, and obtaining a lawful decree of divorce. This judicial procedure may be sufficient to divorce Muslims if it also satisfies Islamic requirements.
In any talaka procedure in Islam, there is a three-month waiting period before its completion.
Waiting period
After the divorce is announced in Islam, a three-month period of expectation, idda, sets in. During this time, the couple continues to live under one roof, but sleeps separately. This gives time to calm down, evaluate the relationship and, perhaps, come to terms. Sometimes decisions are made in a hurry and anger, and later one or both sides may regret it. During the waiting period, the husband and wife can resume their relationship at any time, thereby ending the divorce process without the need for a new marriage contract.
Another reason for the waiting period is the way to determine if the wife is expecting a baby. If the wife is pregnant, the waiting period continues until she gives birth. During the entire waiting period, the wife has the right to remain in the family home, and the husband is responsible for her maintenance.
If the waiting period is completed without reconciliation, the divorce in Islam, Talak, ends. The husband’s financial responsibility for the wife ends and she usually returns to her home. Nevertheless, the husband continues to provide financial support for the children, making regular payments to care for them.
Child custody
In the event of a divorce, Islamic law takes into account the needs of children and guarantees the care of them.
Financial support for children - both during marriage and after a divorce - depends only on the father. Courts have the right to force a father to pay child support if necessary. The amount of payments can be discussed, it should correspond to the financial capabilities of the husband.
Islamic law provides that custody of children can be carried out by someone who is in good condition in terms of physical and mental health, and his financial situation will better meet the needs of children.
Islamic lawyers have different opinions on how best to do this. Some of them admit that a child after a divorce in Islam at a certain age must live with his mother, and if he is older, then with his father. Others are in favor of allowing older children to express their preference. It is generally recognized that mothers take best care of young children and girls.
Since there are disagreements among Islamic scholars about the whereabouts of children, there are differences on this issue at the level of local legislation. In all cases, however, the main problem is that the children should be taken care of by a suitable parent who can satisfy their emotional and physical needs.
Divorce Completion
After the waiting period, the divorce ends. For a couple, it is best to formalize the divorce in the presence of two witnesses, confirming that the parties have fulfilled all their obligations. After that, the wife can get married if she wants.
Thus, the Quran encourages a divorced couple to be friendly with each other, but clearly and decisively break off the relationship.
If a couple decides to make peace, after a divorce in Islam, they should start with a new contract and a new dowry. To prevent too many divorces and marriages, there is a limit on how many times the same couple can get married and get divorced. If a couple decides to remarry after Talak in Islam, this can only be done twice.
Therefore, in Islam, after the third divorce, the couple cannot converge again. In this case, a woman may marry another person. Only after she is divorced from her second partner or widowed can she again resume relations with her first husband if they both want to.
This may seem like a strange rule, but it serves two main purposes. First, the first husband is less likely to frivolously initiate a third divorce, knowing that the decision can no longer be annulled. This will force him to act more prudently. Secondly, perhaps these two people simply do not fit together. A wife can find happiness in another marriage. Or she can understand, having survived a marriage with someone else, that she wants to come to terms with her first husband.
Financial provision
Financial support (nafaka) is mandatory, the husband provides his wife throughout the marriage.
If the couple divorces, the woman receives this financial support throughout the waiting period (idda). As soon as the waiting period ends, the husband should no longer support his wife. At the same time, the wife retains the right to this financial support during the waiting period, regardless of whether the divorce was canceled or completed.
The wife after Talak in Islam takes away everything that belongs to her: what she received as a gift was given to her, or she acquired it at her own expense. Everything that was acquired together during the marriage, earned and acquired with the husband, according to the law, should be divided into two equal parts, especially if the wife worked and contributed to the family budget.