The ideal relationship between a man and a woman is a lot of work, which is accompanied by many errors and problems. And both partners must work on solving these problems. Only then will it be possible to achieve happiness and harmony in a pair. Sometimes it’s very difficult and you want to quit. The reason is that in childhood, and then in youth, boys and girls are not taught how to build relationships between the strong and weak halves of humanity. On the contrary, they teach only to take, but not to give. Think only about yourself and your needs.
The Psychology of Ideal Relationships
There is a huge difference between a man and a woman. It is like two different worlds. They have different worldviews, and they do not understand each other's feelings. He is restrained and brutal, afraid of losing freedom. She is emotional and imposes her feelings on him. He is trying to pull away; she wants to dissolve completely in her partner.
What is the difference between male and female psychology? If a problem arises, the strong half actively seeks its solution. For women, the main thing is to be heard.
If difficulties arise, the man tries to solve them himself. Or asks for advice from a person whose opinion he trusts. He shares the problem in order to hear opinions from a different perspective. A woman, however, talks about her failures just to speak out; she does not need other people's advice.
Another female feature that infuriates the opposite sex is when a girl says no, but implies yes. Men are straightforward, they say what they think. And women's games in hints do not understand by nature. And the weaker sex wants the other half to guess what her beloved wants and why she was offended. And offended even more!
Excessive female emotionality is also unacceptable. Surrounding the sweetheart with care, she leaves almost no free space for the man. He, in turn, feeling that he is losing precious freedom, is trying to protest. The partner believes that she is not needed, she is not valued and does not like. And the second half as a result begins to feel guilty, because the beloved is trying so hard to make something pleasant, and he, ungrateful, rejects it.
The ideal relationship between a man and a woman is built on the balance of her emotionality and his restraint.
The strong half ignores feelings, living the mind. Weak focuses on emotions. Men are afraid to show their weaknesses, believing that this will make them more vulnerable.
Many couples break up due to the fact that partners consider abnormal the emergence of problems that are inevitable during the development of relations. They perceive this as a loss of love and understanding.
In fact, in the process of living together, a transformation of relations occurs. They "grow up", losing naivety and childishness, growing into true love.
How does it all begin
A sudden feeling is the starting point of the relationship of the sexes. At first, being in euphoria, they think that this love will never pass. However, over time, understanding comes that not everything is so smooth. And expectations do not always correspond to reality. A loved one begins to cause irritation, although until recently, he seemed the embodiment of an ideal.
What's happening? Why is love not eternal? Can feelings be maintained? And what to do?
Relationship Stages
Between a man and a woman a harmonious union does not arise immediately. Only after passing certain stages of development, the first love grows into true love and mutual respect. Unfortunately, many couples do not stand the test and break up.
Candy Bouquet Period
Or love. It can last from several months to a year and is filled with romance and uncontrollable passion. Most emphasize this stage in the development of relations due to the abundance of raging feelings. But this is not true love, as it seems at first. It is rather a pronounced obsession with each other. Parting even for a short time is perceived as real torture. This condition is due to the fact that the synthesis of hormones is increased in the body.
Saturation
Falling in love is gradually dying away, and a critical attitude is taking her place. Partners begin to notice each other's flaws. Passions by this time have subsided, and everyone begins to pay more attention to themselves and their needs. Frightened that love has passed, but feelings remained, many are trying to rekindle the former flame of passion. Sometimes it turns out, but for a short time. This step is important in that after the raging passions the body needs rest.
Rejection
At this stage, the man and woman begin to analyze their partner. The problem of many people is that they often see only the negative sides of their chosen one. And then the question of ending the relationship becomes acute. Partners must show maximum wisdom and patience so as not to destroy what has already been built.
Tolerance
A distinctive feature of this stage of building an ideal relationship between a man and a woman is the acceptance of the shortcomings of partners. There comes the realization that everyone is different, with their own cockroaches in their heads, little can be changed. Lovers learn each other's inner world. And although the ideal image of his half is often mercilessly destroyed, a person understands that next to him is a person with his inner world.
Service
This stage is not expressed in the service of his soulmate, as the name may seem. Partners studied each other, understood and accepted. A person begins to give, not demanding anything in return. He acts unselfishly, for the sake of love, and not in order to get something for his efforts.
Mutual respect
Having reached this stage of development of the relationship, the halves cease to demand. Valuable is the very presence of a person nearby. The evaluation of the positive and negative traits of the partner stops. There is mutual understanding and trust.
Love
The psychology of coexistence of the sexes is characterized by moderate penetration into each other. Beloved person becomes a source of joy and happiness. Couples who were able to go through all the stages and pass the test on the way, begin to appreciate the soulmate. The souls and hearts of lovers are united into one whole, and their hearts beat in unison. And then an ideal relationship is born between a man and a woman.
What is psychological comfort?
Man is essentially selfish and primarily takes care of himself. Unconsciously, everyone is afraid to be used, so he pulls the blanket over himself. And only after understanding and realizing that love is first of all bestowal, a person begins to experience comfort and satisfaction from communicating with his soulmate.
Varieties of relationships
All people are different. Each has its own character, temperament and individual characteristics. Therefore, it is impossible to create a single model for the development of ideal relations between a man and a woman. What are the relationships :
- Affiliate. This option is the most common. Responsibilities are distributed equally. And in the event of a conflict, the participants will certainly discuss everything, weigh and find a compromise solution. A man and a woman in such a union are most often already strong, self-realized personalities. Despite all the advantages, there are many disadvantages. Partners rely primarily on themselves and do not ask for help from their half. Such a strict distinction between budget and responsibilities may one day play a bad job. And over time, the beautiful half of the union begins to experience a shortage of emotional outbursts. This version of the union is more masculine, and it will be good for him. But a woman can start looking for a partner with whom she will feel weak. It’s hard to fight against nature.
- Homework. All attention is given to romance and feelings. Domestic troubles are carefully ignored. Immersed in each other, partners cease to pay due attention to their internal development. They are a mutual source of inspiration and support. Only being together, they feel comfort and support. And get used to it so much that they begin to perceive a half as a household appliance that is used only for its intended purpose. To diversify life, such couples should do joint business and try to expand the circle of acquaintances.
- Matriarchal. Not necessarily a woman rules this union, but she is more active and often overshadows a man. If she does not begin to reproach her soul mate for slowness, weakness and softness, then this type of family bond will be strong enough.
- Patriarchal. The classic and best relationship between a man and a woman, according to psychologists. Everything is in its place: he is a breadwinner, she is the guardian of the hearth.
- Inspirational. When a partner elevates his lady to the rank of deity and she is a muse who inspires a man to exploits. The result is not so important to him as her approval of her actions. However, over time, the girl may become too capricious and demanding. And as a result, the marriage will fall apart. To avoid this, the lady should do her self-development in order to achieve the perfection of the relationship between man and woman.